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Unread 05-12-2002, 11:06 AM

Since last thursday when i found out that I really am going to do this next momth, I can't think of anything else. I feel obsessed with this!I did not expect the have this severe a reaction. I am really scared, and I cant seem to control it.I I feel overwhelmed with the things I need to get done before surgery......and can't seem to gat anything accomplished. I think I am most terrified of going through this alone.I do have two grown daughters that live in the next town ( the one where I will actually ahve the surgery), but they are unconcerned. I don't imagine either one of them will even be at the hospital when I go in or wake up, or possibly at all. My dad (77) would want to come up and be with me, but he just had major shoulder surgery and won't be physically able. I'm scared of beling completly alone when I get home. I have friends from work who will bring over some food, Im sure,at least for a few days.........I know this surgery is completly necessary and I am probably worrying about things that need no worry, But I can't seem to stop! I cried myself to sleep last night and am weepy againg this morning. HELP!!!!!!!!!

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Unread 05-12-2002, 11:24 AM

All I can tell you that I felt the same way as you. I took the time though to read all of these messages and I realized I was not alone. The more I read, especially from the women that have recently been through it and survived, the more reassured I've become. It also helps to read the pull down menus. It has a lot of ideas on becoming organized. I don't know how I would have made it this far without these wonderful women.


Take care and take the time to read these messages. It will help calm you. I promise.

Unread 05-12-2002, 11:55 AM
Hi Nancy,

I know what you are going through and I didn't find this site until after my surgery. So it could be worse . I also put this off for almost 10 years too long and suffered with needless pain etc. I was so afraid of the surgery I could not bring myself to say yes. My DR, who is an angel, wanted for me to say the word. She was very understanding about my fear. I decided after one really bad period that enough was enough. So I mustered up the courage and went for it. I am so glad I did. I have such a better quality of life now. I do not have to plan around my period or wonder if I am going to start during a conference. So keep repeating over to your self how good it will feel to live again. Have you talked to your DDs about how you feel. I found with my DS if I just tell him it will make all the difference in the world in his attitude. He is 20. I am 11 months post-op and feel wonderful. I too hate to be alone. My DH is useless when it comes to pampering me so I relied on my DS or my friends. I have a big family, sisters and neices etc. They are always so good to come, but use those friends they wouldn't have told you they would help if they didn't mean to. Have food delievered. make sure the phone is close by and you will do fine. I know that alone is the reason, but sometimes it is necessary. I would have a talk with my DDs if I were you, you might be surprised and they may help more than you think. God Bless. And always remember one thing we are always on this board 24/7 so you are never alone if you can get to your computer.
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Unread 05-12-2002, 12:31 PM
Hi Nancy

I am sorry you are feeling so alone and scared.
This surgery does bring up some pretty scary feelings for us so please don't ever feel you are alone in this. It is major surgery and it can feel pretty overwhelming sometimes. Hang in there, you are going to be okay and do just fine.
I think alot of our adult children just don't understand the seriousness of the surgery or how frightening it can be for us. Afterall most of them have not experienced anything like this.
I had to explain to my 31 year old son and his wife how frightened I was and that I really needed them to be with me. They had, had a trip to Las Vegas planned. Thankfully, they were very willing to cancel it when they understood how upset I was and that I needed them. Probably the only time I have ever asked for anything from them.
I know for many of us it is not easy to ask for what we need or want from others. But trust me, this is the time to do it. I agree with Frances, please talk to your kids and let them know how you are feeling and ask for their support and care at this time. Also if you have any other neighbors, friends, church groups that are willing to be there for you, please call them. You just never know who will show up for you when they find out you are in need.
And yes we are always here with the on.

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