I'm scared my Doc will clear me for sex :(

Ok so this is kind of a silly thing to write about. My dh and I have been fooling around a bit, and I really am looking forward to being intimate with him again. However, I have a 4 week checkup on Friday with my doc and I am scared that she is going to clear me for sex. I have a 6 week check that is a gyn check. I'm not sure what the 4 week one is for. I am sooo scared that it is going to hurt when we try to have sex. Then, I will feel guilty for telling him all this time that I miss it. While thinking about this, I have even pondered that if my doctor did say it was ok, maybe I wouldn't tell my DH lol. Is this bad of me? I really am looking forward to it, but not right now lol. Any comments or suggestions on how to deal with this?

I don't think it's silly at all. I think it's perfectly normal & natural to be scared of it hurting. Whether or not your Dr clears you to have sex, the only one who can decide when you're ready is you. I think it might help DH to tell him that you want to, but you're scared, & that may make it even more difficult. Your feelings of missing it, & being scared of it, are both very valid. I think DH will understand that you miss the intimacy, but are nervous about the pain that may occur the first time. Just go slow, real slow. Maybe even take the lead, have DH on bottom & tell him no matter what don't move.

I understand your concerns. I felt the same way and my surgery was not as intense as yours. I was scared to death the first time at 5 weeks even though I was cleared at 4 weeks. I even waited 2 more weeks before trying again. I am actually even still semi-tense about intercourse at 11 weeks.

It will come with time. Hopefully you have a patient DH that will wait for that special moment.

Not only was I scarred, so was my hubby. He was so afraid of hurting me that he put it off for several months to certain that I was healed enough.

Just be patient and when the time comes, make certain there is enough fore-play to calm you.

Donna

Your feelings are completely normal.....I was afraid after I was cleared at 6 weeks so I waited another month !!!!!
Do what you feel comfortable with.....it sure won't be any fun if you are worried/scared about it....
You have lots of other things to think about now, too....don't over-do it...
Hubby will understand....

I think the majority of sisters probably feel the same...I know that I am scared. I have my 6 week check on Thursday and I know that unless there is a problem I will be cleared for sex, yet I would happily wait several more weeks because of being terrified. I have no doubt my DH will be understanding and supportive either way, but it doesn't change the fear of causing damage.
Best wishes

I went through your anxiety about sex. A lot of us do, from what I've read on this board. My husband and I were both very honest about our concerns and decided to work on learning my new body together, so we took our first session of lovemaking very slowly. It did hurt some at first, which I let my husband know, and after that we simply took a tremendous amount of time enjoying each other until the pain wasn't as issue. And then -- We had some of the best sex of our lives because we were so deeply emotionally connected by the time we were finished. The physical part was more intense and satisfying too. I think the best thing is for you and your husband to be completely honest with each other as you go on a journey that first time; then revel in what you find.

This has me terrified!! My six week is on Thursday but I am still so tender and have discomfort and I am so scared of doing damage (let alone it hurting!!).

	Quote:
Originally Posted by CelticTigeress I went through your anxiety about sex. A lot of us do, from what I've read on this board. My husband and I were both very honest about our concerns and decided to work on learning my new body together, so we took our first session of lovemaking very slowly. It did hurt some at first, which I let my husband know, and after that we simply took a tremendous amount of time enjoying each other until the pain wasn't as issue. And then -- We had some of the beyst sex of our lives because we were so deeply emotionally connected by the time we were finished. The physical part was more intense and satisfying too. I think the best thing is for you and your husband to be completely honest with each other as you go on a journey that first time; then revel in what you find.

That's beautiful! I think I will talk to my DH about this. I really like the point of view of learning my new body with my husband. It makes it a much more positive event I think.

I really appreciate all of your feedback ladies, it's nice ot have my ((sisters)) to talk to about these things. Even knowing that I'm not alone in my feelings helps greatly. Good luck to all of you, and I hope that all of us can learn to enjoy our new bodies and intimacy.

I am still scared but I have additional pain because of a bad ovary left. I really do feel like I am a born again virgin!!!! Scared worried nervous. Here is the blunt part I am terrified that if sex was causing pain when I had my cervix my space smaller now that I have a cuff will it even work myn hubby is very good and has suggested I take the lead and top so I can be in total control but I am still scared