“Numbness” in vagina and trouble with orgasm

Hi, I had a hysterectomy in 2017, kept my ovaries, no cervix. No sex partner until 8 months ago, so I didn’t know if there was going to be a problem with intercourse. I noticed a difference in quality of orgasms once things got started. Takes forever, not that strong, and I now can’t have an orgasm with penetration, only with clitoral manipulation, and sometimes that doesn’t work and we just give up. It feels like the upper 1/3 of my vagina is just “absent”. Not numb, just gone. And menopause kicked in JUST as my boyfriend and I got together, so I’m now on HRT for the hot flashes and dryness. My ob-gyn said it was all in my head, but I think there were some nerves severed and this is just the new normal. I don’t regret it, I had periods every two weeks and was miserable most of the time, so for the most part I feel pretty good, except for the sex problems. Any advice for this? Menopause is seriously getting on my nerves with all of this happening.

and to HysterSisters!

We're sorry that you have concerns that bring you here, but hopefully you'll get some input from others who can relate and can share their experiences.

I don't have my ovaries, but I can share that it can take time to figure out the right dose and method of delivery for hormone therapy. What did your doctor prescribe? Are you using a vaginal estrogen for the dryness? I suggest keeping a symptom journal that you can show to your doctor. It's good to have a written record that shows how you are doing over a period of time. If you feel your doctor isn't addressing the concerns that you have, don't hesitate to seek out a second opinion.

If you haven't already found it, here's a link to the Intimacy After Hysterectomy articles.

For many women sex can change after a hysterectomy. Not necessarily in a bad way but in a different way. You have to learn how your body reacts and work around it. Are you on any estrogen? Do you use vaginal estrogen? If not, you could start there to get some of the feeling back. My orgasms were kind of lame too and I learned that doing kegel exercises helped that immensely. Now they are much stronger and sex feels much better too! As we age and a lack of estrogen everything kind of gets weak in there and loses sensation. Hope that helps.