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Pregnancy talk just hurts a little Pregnancy talk just hurts a little

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  #1  
Unread 04-02-2021, 09:14 AM
Pregnancy talk just hurts a little

So today I was having a me day. Getting my hair colored. My beautician is pregnant. Another one just had a baby. A customer just had one. So all there is is baby talk. Pregnancy talk. And I’ll just have to say that it is kind of emotional for me. Not mad. Just a little sad. Had my hysterectomy in September. So I have been doing fine. But the emotional toll is crazy today. Just needed to share. I am ok with not having kids but the talk in here today is tugging at my heart strings. But I’ll be ok.
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  #2  
Unread 04-10-2021, 10:30 PM
Re: Pregnancy talk just hurts a little

Dear Prncssrncld:

I am so sorry to hear about your sad day. You may find it comforting to reply to some of the other ladies here in Aching Hearts forum who are experiencing similar heartaches.

I hope you are feeling better soon. I am sending huge cyberhugs
  #3  
Unread 04-13-2021, 04:25 PM
Pregnancy talk just hurts a little

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Prncssrncld View Post
So today I was having a me day. Getting my hair colored. My beautician is pregnant. Another one just had a baby. A customer just had one. So all there is is baby talk. Pregnancy talk. And I’ll just have to say that it is kind of emotional for me. Not mad. Just a little sad. Had my hysterectomy in September. So I have been doing fine. But the emotional toll is crazy today. Just needed to share. I am ok with not having kids but the talk in here today is tugging at my heart strings. But I’ll be ok.
I'm sorry you are going through that. I sympathize. I just had a hysterectomy 5 weeks ago, and dealt with fertility issues for 8 years. I don't have kids. It seems like everyone is pregnant...6 friends with their third children and my sister in law with her first. It's difficult. You smile and support them while secretly feeling all the feels, and that's okay. We can feel happy and sad at the same time. I also think it's okay to put up gentle boundaries if you need to and let the people know you can't discuss baby things. It's okay to not be okay. Some days are easier than others, but when that pregnant belly is in your face, it's hard to not feel cheated that it's not you. Sending you hugs. You deserve all the happy things.
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  #4  
Unread 04-13-2021, 04:35 PM
Re: Pregnancy talk just hurts a little

Sweetie,

I am so sorry that you had a tough day today.
What turned out as a pampering day turned into a sad day.

Sweetie, give yourself permission to grieve. Don't suppress your feelings. I am so glad that you felt you could reach out to the many sisters here on this site who all have your back. Because we do!

Unfortunately, a hysterectomy is not like a broken leg with a cast that everyone can see. But rather it's a major surgery that happened on the inside of you.
But it's a life changing surgery for a woman.
And it take a lot longer to heal from it than any other surgery that I know, not just physically, but emotionally.

I hope that with time these situations will get easier for you.

Know that I am sending you a special hug.

  #5  
Unread 04-13-2021, 04:56 PM
Pregnancy talk just hurts a little

Been there, dime that. There are times when it’s tough for sure. Mine was Dec 2020. My BFF from college and her husband were our fellow DINKS. We traveled and hung out together even though we’re in different states. It was tough when she announced the pregnancy. Tougher afterwards too. I was asked to be godmother so it helps a little.

We don’t have the worries about colic, diapers, tantrums or college tuition!

Stay strong girl and when you sleep the entire night and wake up rested, just know in a few months, those ladies world give their left arms to do that!


QUOTE=Prncssrncld;1527826221]So today I was having a me day. Getting my hair colored. My beautician is pregnant. Another one just had a baby. A customer just had one. So all there is is baby talk. Pregnancy talk. And I’ll just have to say that it is kind of emotional for me. Not mad. Just a little sad. Had my hysterectomy in September. So I have been doing fine. But the emotional toll is crazy today. Just needed to share. I am ok with not having kids but the talk in here today is tugging at my heart strings. But I’ll be ok.[/quote]
  #6  
Unread 04-13-2021, 06:13 PM
Re: Pregnancy talk just hurts a little

It was tougher than I thought it would be.....I had my surgery in November. I never really thought about children because I was 16/17 when I was told it may not happen for me. (47 now) I focused on career, parents and helping my brother’s with his children. Then 2 weeks ago; my 22 year old neice had her second child. She facetimed me. I was so happy for this beautiful little girl but I quickly ended the call. Then I started to cry. I was hurt, mad, sad; you name it. I ran thru so many emotions. For the first time ever, I questioned why was I not given the chance to be a Mom! I am still surprised that I acted and felt the way that I did. The next morning, thru tears I tried to explain to my husband. He is an amazing man but he is a man. He tried to make me feel better but I just cried. I think it is the realization that even though I am 47 and never thought of having children....it is now final.

I guess I say all this, just to say you are not alone. We can be happy but we are allowed to feel like we feel.

I am not on the forum as much lately but it is the best support system for realizing you are not alone.
  #7  
Unread 04-13-2021, 10:47 PM
Re: Pregnancy talk just hurts a little

Thank you all so much for your support. It seems like the only place i can truly express my feelings is here. Not having to worry that people just don’t understand. So glad to have so many sisters that get it. And glad I’m not the only one or have to face these feelings alone. In one sense it was a shame that we didn’t get to have kids. But we have focused so much on us, and what makes us happy. A lot of people we know are very envious of what we have. Freedom to do what we want when we want. Not having to worry about school babysitters diapers, etc. we have enjoyed our lives to the fullest and got to experience things that others only dream of. We truly are blessed and happy. Just those off moments out of nowhere that creep up. But I am rocking the new hair do. Lol. Thanks again to everyone. You truly are a great and wonderful support team.
  #8  
Unread 04-14-2021, 07:31 AM
Pregnancy talk just hurts a little

Hi I know exactly how you feel. I felt that way too for the first couple of years. The pain does lessen a bit however it still bothers me a bit today when I hear of a pregnancy but not as much. If you want to talk you can dm me. Im sorry *hugs*


  Quote:
Originally Posted by Prncssrncld View Post
So today I was having a me day. Getting my hair colored. My beautician is pregnant. Another one just had a baby. A customer just had one. So all there is is baby talk. Pregnancy talk. And I’ll just have to say that it is kind of emotional for me. Not mad. Just a little sad. Had my hysterectomy in September. So I have been doing fine. But the emotional toll is crazy today. Just needed to share. I am ok with not having kids but the talk in here today is tugging at my heart strings. But I’ll be ok.
  #9  
Unread 04-14-2021, 08:43 AM
Re: Pregnancy talk just hurts a little

Oh my goodness, your post went straight to my heart. I'm a year post hysterectomy, and I was always one who thought I would have kids. I had 2 different doctor appts last week, and in both cases the "small talk" included asking me if I had any kids. It annoyed me so much. I like you, have come to terms with not having kids, however the questions, or just the general pregnancy talk can be painful still. I think there are alot of women like us out there who do not have kids, and feel this exact same way. Thank you for posting this. It makes you feel like you aren't the only one who feels this way!
  #10  
Unread 04-14-2021, 09:19 AM
Pregnancy talk just hurts a little

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Prncssrncld View Post
Thank you all so much for your support. It seems like the only place i can truly express my feelings is here. Not having to worry that people just don’t understand. So glad to have so many sisters that get it. And glad I’m not the only one or have to face these feelings alone. In one sense it was a shame that we didn’t get to have kids. But we have focused so much on us, and what makes us happy. A lot of people we know are very envious of what we have. Freedom to do what we want when we want. Not having to worry about school babysitters diapers, etc. we have enjoyed our lives to the fullest and got to experience things that others only dream of. We truly are blessed and happy. Just those off moments out of nowhere that creep up. But I am rocking the new hair do. Lol. Thanks again to everyone. You truly are a great and wonderful support team.
I definitely have these days as well. Have you thought about fostering a teen? I have definitely given it some thought, as I never had kids. I think most women feel they need to give something back to the next generation. I have nieces and nephews I've done that with so it might be enough, or maybe you are wanting a young adult you can truly have an effect on (without the issues of diapers etc of a baby). I just think of all of the teens who have no one to call family and they are setting off in the world soon with little support.

Really just something I'm thinking about in those moments of sadness. But the decision has to come when there aren't those heavy emotions.
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