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One year out from surgery and I知 a mess One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

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  #1  
Unread 12-26-2019, 04:15 PM
One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

Surgery was last December. They took everything, so instant menopause, with hormones not an option. We waited to have sex for months and months - still discomfort, which was a downer. On top of feeling fat and unattractive. Surgeon referred me to a gyno who does a series of laser treatments to try and help with the discomfort. I have asked my husband to please initiate sex - he痴 always had a lower sex drive to begin with. He痴 very concerned about causing me pain, so he puts it back on me - says I have to use the dilator, etc. I just keep thinking about how I have a Frankenstein vagina - a Frankengina - no cervix so it痴 just a closed off stitched tube. I hate my body. I can have orgasms but they aren稚 the same. Ugh this is the worst.

Mainly venting because none of my friends remotely understand.
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  #2  
Unread 12-28-2019, 12:28 PM
One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

Totally empathize with you. I'm dysmorphic about my body now too. The first year was the worst. It's hard to talk about with friends/family because you get the feeling they are thinking "why is she making such a big deal over a common surgery?"
I hope you start feeling better very soon.
  #3  
Unread 12-28-2019, 12:49 PM
Re: One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

hugs to you...i hope the laser treatments help you with the discomfort.
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  #4  
Unread 12-28-2019, 04:42 PM
Re: One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

Changed orgasmic sensation/experience was one of my big fears. That and some reason for post-surgery incontinence (maybe a surgical accident or something). But it was all sorts of things I didn't anticipate that turned out much worse.

Sex was a bit different to begin with but over time has improved greatly. I started to notice how un-uncomfortable I am now that I don't have a huge mass (enlarged uterus with huge and multiple fibroids) getting in the way and that's made it better than I've felt in years.
Orgasm has improved over the months. It was never as unsatisfactory as I'd feared, just different at the start. Maybe fearing the worst wasn't a bad place to begin: I've been pleasantly surprised about those things.

I guess all you can do is decide it's mind over matter. It isn't the worst, actually. Figure out what's good and possibly better than before and go from there.
  #5  
Unread 12-31-2019, 04:20 PM
One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

  Quote:
Originally Posted by VeryLibra View Post
Surgery was last December. They took everything, so instant menopause, with hormones not an option. We waited to have sex for months and months - still discomfort, which was a downer. On top of feeling fat and unattractive. Surgeon referred me to a gyno who does a series of laser treatments to try and help with the discomfort. I have asked my husband to please initiate sex - he痴 always had a lower sex drive to begin with. He痴 very concerned about causing me pain, so he puts it back on me - says I have to use the dilator, etc. I just keep thinking about how I have a Frankenstein vagina - a Frankengina - no cervix so it痴 just a closed off stitched tube. I hate my body. I can have orgasms but they aren稚 the same. Ugh this is the worst.

Mainly venting because none of my friends remotely understand.
I'm so sorry you are going through all this. I can tell you you aren't alone. I had my surgery exactly one year before you (12/19/17)...I have experienced the same feelings about my body. Sex was different at first but now is better in this second year. I had the Mona Lisa laser treatment too. I don't know that they really helped all that much. Pelvic floor therapy (internal and external) was the thing that helped me the most. I started it one year after my surgery.
Make sure you are using lots of lube.... And make sure it's one that doesn't have alcohol in it (alcohol is very drying and can further damage vagina tissues that are effected by menopausal changes).
  #6  
Unread 12-31-2019, 04:21 PM
Re: One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

My biggest complaint is leaking urine. I had a weak bladder before surgery but that was leaking when laughing coughing sprinting (I知 a marathon runner). What I didn稚 expect was different leaking. Not being able to hold it AT ALL when I have to pee. I always take forever to pee now and I can稚 seem to stop the stream. I知 always fearful when I do have sex that the pressure will cause me to leak again. I知 very confident with my body but this problem has really played with my confidence. I refuse to take meds for it and Botox for the bladder is extremely painful and can have no affect OR the bladder becomes so rigid that you need a catheter the first few weeks. It痴 depressing because this is now my life. I feel your pain
  #7  
Unread 12-31-2019, 04:31 PM
One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

Have you tried a physical therapist that specializes in women痴 pelvic anatomy/disorders. You might want to ask your gyn about one & see if they can help.



  Quote:
Originally Posted by VeryLibra View Post
Surgery was last December. They took everything, so instant menopause, with hormones not an option. We waited to have sex for months and months - still discomfort, which was a downer. On top of feeling fat and unattractive. Surgeon referred me to a gyno who does a series of laser treatments to try and help with the discomfort. I have asked my husband to please initiate sex - he痴 always had a lower sex drive to begin with. He痴 very concerned about causing me pain, so he puts it back on me - says I have to use the dilator, etc. I just keep thinking about how I have a Frankenstein vagina - a Frankengina - no cervix so it痴 just a closed off stitched tube. I hate my body. I can have orgasms but they aren稚 the same. Ugh this is the worst.

Mainly venting because none of my friends remotely understand.
  #8  
Unread 01-01-2020, 08:24 AM
Re: One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Lulu24 View Post
My biggest complaint is leaking urine. I had a weak bladder before surgery but that was leaking when laughing coughing sprinting (I知 a marathon runner). What I didn稚 expect was different leaking. Not being able to hold it AT ALL when I have to pee. I always take forever to pee now and I can稚 seem to stop the stream. I知 always fearful when I do have sex that the pressure will cause me to leak again. I知 very confident with my body but this problem has really played with my confidence. I refuse to take meds for it and Botox for the bladder is extremely painful and can have no affect OR the bladder becomes so rigid that you need a catheter the first few weeks. It痴 depressing because this is now my life. I feel your pain
I was having the same problem and my urologist told me to do Kegels. Ten reps, three times a day. I thought no way. I had been doing core/pelvic exercises everyday for months. Isn't that the same? Well, I started doing them and it has helped tremendously. I still have the urgent need to go but I am able to make it to the bathroom without leaking most of the time. They said it will take about 6 months to be fully effective.
  #9  
Unread 01-01-2020, 08:49 AM
One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

  Quote:
Originally Posted by sc1309 View Post
I was having the same problem and my urologist told me to do Kegels. Ten reps, three times a day. I thought no way. I had been doing core/pelvic exercises everyday for months. Isn't that the same? Well, I started doing them and it has helped tremendously. I still have the urgent need to go but I am able to make it to the bathroom without leaking most of the time. They said it will take about 6 months to be fully effective.
I値l try them again. If they worked for you a little, I will again. I usually forget to do them throughout the day. Thanks.
  #10  
Unread 01-01-2020, 09:23 AM
One year out from surgery and I知 a mess

  Quote:
Originally Posted by Lulu24 View Post
I値l try them again. If they worked for you a little, I will again. I usually forget to do them throughout the day. Thanks.
You should really look into pelvic floor therapy at a place where they would do internal and external work. Kegels help strengthen the muscles but sometimes you have muscles that are too tight (that's what mine were).
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