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Can't stop pushing myself to forget about Cancerhead!! Can't stop pushing myself to forget about Cancerhead!!

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Unread 10-28-2010, 06:25 PM
Can't stop pushing myself to forget about Cancerhead!!

I need advice, I am having issues with not being able to stop at all... I am a single mother of 4 and have been back to work for 3 weeks... my work day starts at 5:30am and I don't get home until 6pm after picking my 3 youngest from daycare. When I get home even after dinner, dishes, homework, making lunches for the next day, a load of laundry and a 1/2 hour walk... as soon as I sit down I think about cancer... so I get up and start cleaning or folding laundry or anything. I have actually decided to renovate my kitchen... I have ripped out the cupboards, walls out to the studs, and cut a hole between the dining room and put a support in place. Sorry to keep going on but some of this I do because I have to but mostly it is to keep my mind off of what I went through and the thought it might come back. I will not ever go on antidepressants, I have friends on them and they are the most depressed people even with the meds...I would like to know if anyone else is going through anything like this?? And if there is any natural ways to help me relax.

LAVH, Lymph nodes taken (20)/kept Ovaries
Stage 1A2 Adenocarcinoma of the Cervix
Path Clear
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Unread 10-28-2010, 08:02 PM
Re: Can't stop pushing myself to forget about Cancerhead!!

Hi Kellbel

I went through a similar stage. What helped me was when I finally released my need for control over the situation. It took a while, and lots of mental "lecturing" to myself. I kept telling myself 'whatever will be, will be'. If I have cancer, or don't have cancer, life goes on. Its up to me to enjoy the time I have, and not let worry or stress take over my life.

Don't get me wrong - I still succumb to cancerhead (especially before doctor's appointments!)

Are there any cancer centers or support groups in your area? Sometimes, talking to others, face to face, who have been in the same situation can be helpful. Also, perhaps acupuncture, yoga or Reiki (sp?) may help you relax.

Hang in there, and try to take it one day at a time.
Unread 10-29-2010, 08:07 AM
Re: Can't stop pushing myself to forget about Cancerhead!!

Sometimes pushing those feelings aside does more damage than good. (even though you're getting a TON accomplished in the process!) At some point you will have to accept these feelings and allow your mind and heart to process everything you've gone through and the impact it has on your life. Support groups are wonderful. Talk therapy has been a life saver for me.

My counselor told me that pushing the "bad thoughts" down only prolongs the process. Even if you just allow yourself 10 minutes a day to talk your self through it...its like letting some of the steam out and gradually you can work through it all.

please remember that you've just gone through a major life-altering event. You don't have to be a hero and move on as if its all over and done with. Cancer isn't neat and tidy. It can't just be folded up and placed in a box in the back of a closet. Its something to be looked at. Its scary, terrifying really, but in time you will be able to look at it as something that built you, made you a stronger person, and someone to be admired.
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Unread 10-29-2010, 09:22 AM
Re: Can't stop pushing myself to forget about Cancerhead!!

Hi Kellbell
Sounds like a difficult time for you. I would tend to agree with Vega, at some point cancerhead needs to be dealt with. I guess for me, I did not avoid cancerhead, rather I obsessed for months about the cancer, and I was only able to deal with it once I had put it into perspective in my mind.
I had to know what my chances were and if I had done all that was indicated. I also found it helped reading "anticancer the new way of life". In this book he suggests many "other" things one can be doing to treat the cancer.
Such as turmeric, and green tea, I take comfort knowing I am eating anti cancer foods etc.
I guess the other big thing to treat cancerhead is the tincture of time

That all being said, I do find that keeping busy keeps me from dwelling on things too.
You do not sound depressed, so unlikely the meds would help you, but they really do help people who are depressed, perhaps your friends are just inadequately treated.

I cannot imagine being a single mother of 4, and my heart goes out to you, as well as a certain amount of admiration
Unread 10-29-2010, 12:04 PM
Re: Can't stop pushing myself to forget about Cancerhead!!

Allowing myself to lay down and have a good cry every now and then works wonders for me. Like most people, I'd rather avoid the pain / anxiety / fear / anger / sadness but sooner or later, it catches up with me.

I'm bipolar so I take a mood stabilizer (Lamictal), and antidepressant (Wellbutrin XL). Now that I'm dealing with all the stress of cancer, I also use Lorazepam for anxiety. I can't say that the antidepressant is doing as much as I would like, but I've seen some improvement. The Lorazepam does help me calm down when my thoughts start racing.
Unread 10-30-2010, 04:27 PM
Re: Can't stop pushing myself to forget about Cancerhead!!

I hope no one is offended, but the biggest thing that helps me with this is simply prayer. I have been through a lot in the past year and 7 months. It started with gallbladder necrotizing pancreatitis, and 4 straight months in the hospital plus 2 more months off and on. There was one complication after another (lung and kidney failure, sepsis, 4 hospital acquired infections, an ileostomy that is thankfully now reversed, DVT, and many other things I can't even remember) and I very nearly died. Then, a got a diagnosis of endometrial cancer. That entailed another operation (the 7th since the pancreatitis). A week or so after my 8th operation (ileostomy reversal), I got a kidney stone. In spite of it all, I am now doing great! I have my 3 month check-up with my new oncologist (have never met him - the other one retired) in Nov. Psychologically, prayer (plus the pain meds) got me through it all.
Unread 11-17-2010, 07:59 PM
Re: Can't stop pushing myself to forget about Cancerhead!!

hey guys just caught up with this thread... thank you for all the great advice... I can't say that I am still not keeping myself very busy but I have found two people that have gone through similar cancer's, they have helped, but you guys by far have helped me realize I was letting the cancer run me... thank you for taking the time to give me advice
Unread 11-19-2010, 06:12 PM
Re: Can't stop pushing myself to forget about Cancerhead!!

I too suffer from cancerhead ... thanks for your suggestions and support! I guess we all have to learn how to deal with this for the rest of our lives one way or another


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