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has anyone else felt this  way has anyone else felt this way

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  #1  
Unread 12-31-2005, 11:17 AM
has anyone else felt this way

Hi to all...........and HAPPY NEW YEAR I was just wondering ..................if anyone else felt hopeless and scared before surgery..................I don`t have a supportive husband.....he kind of has ignored me big time.dealing with it in his own way I guess.I just feel so sad and scared...thinking gosh,how am I going to get through these next two weeks?????????? and recovery??????? Thanks for letting me vent........
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  #2  
Unread 12-31-2005, 11:25 AM
has anyone else felt this way

You feel what I think everyone else felt. Scared, nervous, angry, all of it and more. I know I did. This site helped me a lot. Made me cry, made me nervous, made me more informed, and finally just prepared me.

It will be over soon, if you need support come here, this is a great place. Your surgery will go fine, mine did, and in a few weeks I will be really glad I had it. ; )
  #3  
Unread 12-31-2005, 11:41 AM
has anyone else felt this way

Is your husband's attitude new? Or is he usually this way? My dh is a quiet guy, never says much. So, I'm inclined to think he doesn't really care. The opposite is true. Only AFTER my hyst he revealed how scared he really was for me. Which shocked me. HE has done all the cooking (he tries), housework, etc. I'm totally amazed! I'm recovering beautifully because of him! Maybe your dh just needs to investigate this the same as you and I did! Men really don't know too much about this stuff, it's not their thing. Take care.
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  #4  
Unread 12-31-2005, 11:44 AM
has anyone else felt this way

oh sweetie, I'm sorry that your husband
is not supportive of you, but WE ARE!!!

It is normal to feel apprehensive....
to be honest, I think I went a wee bit
bonkers before I had mine done.

I was in much, much pain & so angry that
I couldn't fix it; make it go away all on my
own, honestly, I felt helpless & in despair.

but just think, shortly you'll be back
to normal, feeling good, and ready to
get on with your life "without pain or periods"

Luv, Hugs & Prayers
God Bless
Ronda
  #5  
Unread 12-31-2005, 12:06 PM
has anyone else felt this way

hug to you!

While I wasn't scared about my (then) pending surgery, I was scared of what was to come afterwards. My DH wasn't very supportive either. We fought tooth and nail over my surgery! He wanted us to have more children, but I was getting absolutely desparate about my female problems and felt I was going absolutely INSANE. We went to family counseling to try to work through it, but he was still against it even tho' my physical and mental health were failing me.

I finally made my choice - have the surgery and risk losing DH. I was that desparate.

DH decided to try to be supportive - in his own fashion - but with his kind of support, I could have done w/o the attempt! Just 12-minutes before I'm wheeled into the OR, DH decides he wants me to have a pregnancy test! This delays my surgery by as much as 3-hrs while they awaited the results. I was so upset with him... but understood where he was coming from. He didn't want to lose out on this chance if I were pregnant! DR and I tried to convince him the test wasn't necessary - after all, I was on my period, but the only thing that would absolutely convince him otherwise was the test itself.

I was so upset. The last time I'd been this upset prior to a surgery, I came out from the anesthesia extremely sick. Any other time I've had surgery, I've come out with flying colors! Told the DH that too (he didn't know me back then). And then I proceeded to tell him that he could just leave the hospital now - that I didn't want to see him when I woke up from surgery. I didn't need his kind of support if that's just what he had to offer me.

Well, I did come out of this anesthesia sick to my stomach and with my husband by my side. He was sleeping beside my bed, head on the edge of my bed, and holding both of my hands. I was still mad at him for putting me through that emotional turmoil, but I was glad he was there after all.

As for your DH, he may wish to be supportive, but is unsure how. Men are very strange creatures. Have you tried to have a heart-to-heart with him yet? I know even these can go in one ear and out another... If you need emotional support, there's always someone here online at this site. We'll do our best to help you out where the DH fails.

If you're concerned about how you're going to fend for yourself while DH is at work, prior to surgery, go out and buy you some of those individual serving microwaveable TV dinners (such as Banquet). They're usually on sale cheap somewhere (such as Albertson's 10 for $10 deals). They may not be what you'd normally choose for yourself, but it sure beats the heck out of standing over a hot stove trying to fix something to eat!!

Also, load up on sandwich meats, peanut butter, and high fiber bread. You'll need the extra fiber after the surgery.... I buy Sara Lee's Delightful 100% Whole Wheat made w/Honey. It has just 45 calories (or 90cal/2 slices), 1g sugar (or 2g/2 slices), 2g fiber (or 5g/2 slices), and 3g protein (6g/2slices). As for the taste, I really like it and so does my toddler!

You can also research recipes for casseroles in your cookbooks or online (allrecipes.com) and prep some of them to freeze. I did this so the family wouldn't be stuck eating pizza every night as my DH doesn't cook! Be sure to cover the casserole with plastic wrap (seals out freezer burn) and then tin foil. Print up cooking instructions on a large stickable shipping label - include side dish info - and the date you froze the casserole and place on top of the tin foil. Buy extra canned goods or frozen veggies for the side dishes. If you buy fresh, there's a better chance it will go bad before it's used.

Good luck! And be sure to keep us posted on your progress!!
  #6  
Unread 12-31-2005, 02:35 PM
has anyone else felt this way

Poor Ms. Kitty......

I know how you feel! I am scheduled for 1/19 - and the wait is horrible! I am lucky to have a supportive husband. They are strange creatures like LiLRedCV said - my DH doesn't want to know ANY details - just what I need from him for support. He has lived with my misery and agrees it is the best thing to do.

To help time pass I have put my efforts into getting things ready for going to the 'castle' and for when I return. Pillows, a bag for the hospital bed full with great ideas listed here, a list of people to notify, finding satin pjs - etc. Helps me focus on my needs instead of feeling guilty for taking 6-8 weeks for myself! I can't even go to the bathroom for 2 minutes with out someone calling 'mommy!' !!!

Reading postings on this site really helps me feel like I have a supportive group - you are not alone in this! Sorry you hubby doesn't express himself well - he is probably just scared too.

Be strong and know you are doing what you need to do!!

Pink Princess
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