LSH: Upcoming hysterectomy 1/21 and I’m kinda freaking out.

Hi.

So I’m having a laparoscopic suprapubic hysterectomy, keeping the cervix and my ovaries. Backstory I have a fibroid with super heavy periods that have caused super heavy periods and when they put me on birth control I ended up having a 72 day period (heavy the entire time) and felt like I was going crazy. So after a very painful D and C where my gynecologist couldn’t get the fibroid out (apparently on this 6 foot tall amazon it’s my reproductive organs that are small), I said “enough I want it out”. So I had the follow up to the D and C on the 31st and we planned the surgery for the 21st. I met my surgeon.

I’m just freaking out because 1.) it’s all happening super fast. 2.) my surgeon explained the surgery to me and it spooks me that they’re gonna cut up my uterus inside my body. It seems weird and sci-fi like and ... cruel to the uterus if that sounds crazy. It’s not her fault she’s messed up. Does that sound weird? I’ve tried to explain this to my other friends and they say I’m sounding crazy. 3.) my dad is coming to take care of me. That’s fine. I love my dad. It’s just ... he can’t cook well. He’s ADHD. And it happened to be that he was in town when they had this appointment open. My mom wants me to fly to her in California (I’m in Washington) so she can take care of me because she can’t leave due to taking care of my grandma... I don’t know the polite way to say “all I want/need is someone to feed me, watch my pets, and let me sleep.” There’s family stuff, there’s high emotions, I’m gonna be out of work for three weeks...

Any ideas? Did anyone else freak out? And I’m trying to remain cool and calm but on the inside I’m totally losing my cool.

Oh and editing to add: I’m trying to remain this cool girl. I don’t have kids. And the guy I like noticed I was stressed. I don’t want to put it out there “hey... I’m getting snorfleed in a couple of weeks.”

Hi! My surgery was on 12/17 so it's still pretty fresh. I'm unfamiliar with medical terms but I had done through the vagina with no stomach incisions necessary. They took out my cervix and uterus and left my ovaries. I feel amazing. I was pain free (and I wouldn't even call it pain, more uncomfortable) within 48 hours. I've been everywhere walking, driving, etc. Everyone is different but don't freak yourself out while reading various posts because your experience could be like mine. Relax and enjoy the medicated nap

Cooking skills aside, can your dad be trusted to supply more or less edible food, watch your pets and let you sleep? Or is he going to fuss around?

To be honest, I can't cook either. It never interested me enough to learn. I can throw things together and heat them up, and that suits my needs fine.

I had abdominal surgery, which came with a three-day hospital stay. A friend looked after my cats while I was gone, and another friend drove me home from the hospital when I was released. After that I did fine on my own. There were people I could call in case of emergency, but I never needed to call.

My sister, who lives down in the States, wanted to fly up for my first week of recovery. I love her dearly, but she's a clean-freak with an OCD diagnosis, *not* what I wanted bustling around my apartment while I was trying to relax. I told her firmly not to come up because I would need my own space.

Sis: "But *I* need to make sure you're okay!"

Me: "I'm the person with cancer, my needs come first."

Sis: "Oh."

Even if you don't have cancer, you're the person who's having major surgery. Your needs come first. Sis came up *five* weeks after surgery and we had a great visit! :-)

If your dad can handle food / let you sleep / watch pets, great. If he's going to fuss, politely but firmly decline his offer.

Before surgery, I scrubbed and laundered the heck out of my apartment. I stocked up on groceries, toiletries and household items. For groceries, I concentrated on foods that needed little or no preparation - fresh fruit, yogurt, bread, peanut butter, canned, frozen and dried foods. If you enjoy cooking, you could freeze a lot of stuff beforehand?

Also stock up on entertainment, because you're going to be resting a lot more of the time than you're actually asleep. I stocked up on books and small mending jobs. For books - and this goes for movies, too - I recommend a mix of light and heavy fare. A steady diet of sweets gets boring after a while.

While I spent the first day after surgery mostly in bed except when the nurses hauled me out of bed to go for a walk around the ward, once in the morning and once in the afternoon. The second day I was much more mobile and took myself out to walk multiple laps around the ward once an hour or so. When I wasn't walking, I was sitting upright in an armchair reading. I returned to bed only to nap or sleep.

Once I got home, I had no trouble preparing simple foods for myself and the cats, washing a few dishes at the sink and keeping the litter box scooped. Other than that, I let the housework go. The dust bunnies were cute. I went for short, frequent walks, read, sewed and traded e-mails with friends. When I needed to sleep, I slept.

For me, it was actually a pleasant, relaxing time. If involving either of your parents is going to create drama, tell them you need your space.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Kdeans1010 ...My mom wants me to fly to her in California (I’m in Washington) so she can take care of me because she can’t leave due to taking care of my grandma...

PS If you actually wanted to recuperate in California, you would have to have the surgery in California. No doctor is going to let you walk out of the hospital and get on a plane and no airline is going to accept a passenger fresh out of the OR.

Simply tell your mother that you've already made arrangements to have the surgery done in Washington and that by the time you're recovered enough to fly (or travel down to California by any other means) you'll be recovered enough to be on your own.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by SurprisedInNB PS If you actually wanted to recuperate in California, you would have to have the surgery in California. No doctor is going to let you walk out of the hospital and get on a plane and no airline is going to accept a passenger fresh out of the OR. Simply tell your mother that you've already made arrangements to have the surgery done in Washington and that by the time you're recovered enough to fly (or travel down to California by any other means) you'll be recovered enough to be on your own.

Here’s the crap thing:

I had my d and c on the 21st. Then as I was coming out of surgery, I found out my grandma passed away (she was 94 with severe dementia). My Dad’s family decided to have a small funeral February 5th in California . My Dad’s 65th birthday party is on the 3rd. So I should be down back home with my family. It’s just.... my mom normally would be up here to help. But with grandma passing....it’s all a lot.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Kdeans1010 Here’s the crap thing: I had my d and c on the 21st. Then as I was coming out of surgery, I found out my grandma passed away (she was 94 with severe dementia). My Dad’s family decided to have a small funeral February 5th in California . My Dad’s 65th birthday party is on the 3rd. So I should be down back home with my family. It’s just.... my mom normally would be up here to help. But with grandma passing....it’s all a lot.

If you're having surgery on January 21 in Washington, you may or may not be able to make it down to California for the funeral on February 5, 15 days after your surgery. You won't know until closer to the day-of whether or not you're going to be able to make it.

I'm sorry that you and your parents are dealing with this loss at this time. But in the end, your health is more important than your grandmother's death

If it's absolutely critical that you be at the funeral on the 5th, delay the surgery until afterwards.

Hi KDeans1010! Take a deep breath.... This surgery is a big deal and believe me when I say that I was really nervous about it and preparing in advance for it. It was me, my spouse and our three dogs.

If you don't like the idea of a morcellator ask your surgeon about other options. It may still be small incisions with a bikini cut as I had or something else. Or seek a second opinion to be more comfortable with it.

About your dad and cooking, well the best that you can do with that is to prepare some meals ahead of time and freeze them in single servings. Including breakfast, where you can freeze some muffins that just have to be thawed in the refrigerator. You can make soups, broths, or other easy meals that you will like that your dad will have to be okay with eating. Another option that should not be difficult is having smoothie ready ingredients like yogurt, frozen berries, greens, maybe some nuts and/or whatever type of milk/liquid you like to use in a smoothie. This should be fairly easy. If he not crazy about your options he can always pick up take out for himself and/or you, although you may not be in the mood for what he picks up.

You will figure things out and if you find yourself getting stressed about it, step back and take a few deep breaths in and out, listen to some relaxing music or do whatever helps to calm you. Prepare the best that you can. Good luck!

Hi Kdeans1010 -

First off, I am sorry your grandma passed away.

You have received great advice from the other sisters.

If you are going to have surgery on the January 21, you should probably plan on not going to the funeral just 15 days later. Having a hysterectomy is MAJOR SURGERY. You are having an important organ removed from your body. No matter they type, you will have much internal healing to do. If you still want to go, ask your doctor if you can. You may be restricted from flying that soon after surgery. Plus, you may still be under driving restrictions. You will also be under lifting restrictions: 10 lbs for 6 weeks and 20 lbs for 8 weeks. So you will need someone to take care of your luggage. You may not be in the mood mentally to handle something like that. Family gatherings take way more energy than you realize. I know that for me at 2 weeks post op I could not have done that - physically, mentally or emotionally.

Can you delay the surgery until after the funeral without endangering your health? If you can, that may be an option.

Here are articles that may provide information on your surgery questions as well as flying after surgery:
What Is Morcellation?
What Is the Purpose of Morcellation with a Hysterectomy?
Morcellation and Hysterectomy: Should I Be Worried?
Morcellation Risks
Morcellation | FDA Guidelines
Statements on Morcellation from Medical Organizations
The Debate about Morcellation and Cancer Risk

Traveling after Hysterectomy | Airplanes


Make the best decision for you regarding your dad, your grandma's funeral, and your family. We will support you.

So update.

I talked to my parents, my sister, my doctors, and my therapist.

What the doc said is I can fly. I just can’t cross my legs, smoke, or misbehave on the flight. I bought compression socks for the flight. They told me to possibly have a wheelchair at the airport? They told me to be careful with luggage. My therapist thinks I’ll be... missing closure if I don’t see my grandma’s funeral/celebration of life. Part of the grieving process (side note when she stopped knowing my name is when I started grieving and that was 5 years ago)? I booked a flight with my sister. She will help with my purse. I have a doctor’s note to fly with. My mom will have all my toiletries and I leave clothes at my parents all the time... so. ... I booked a seat with extra leg room and aisles.

I’m still super nervous. Thanks for the advice.

My surgery is 1/22 —*and I totally get the part about the uterus! It all seems so otherworldly, doesn't it?

I will be thinking of you — good luck with everything! Let me know if you want to commiserate that week.