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Cruel Irony:  18 days Post Op and I look 6 Months Pregnant Cruel Irony: 18 days Post Op and I look 6 Months Pregnant

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  #1  
Unread 08-04-2020, 11:09 AM
Cruel Irony: 18 days Post Op and I look 6 Months Pregnant

I am 47 years old and have had issues with my reproductive organs since I was 11 years old. Painful, irregular periods were the norm from the start. My first GYN surgery was a laparectomy to remove a cyst that had wrapped around my fallopian tube at the age of 19. I have endometriosis, so had several Laparoscopic scopes to clear some of that and increase chances of pregnancy. My husband is 6.5 years older than I am, so when I was 40, I decided it was time to accept that my life path is not intended for pregnancy and my own children. I am blessed with a beautiful niece and three beautiful nephews that I couldn't love any more if they were flesh of my flesh, and I am able to help my sisters with their children more because I don't have children of my own. I will be honest, there are times that I still get waves of sadness and loss. I hate mother's day. Recently, when friends started having grandchildren, another wave of grief and loss hit me. It comes in unexpected times, but it is not unexpected. It was all part of my process and I expected that I would feel those things forever even though I decided to mourn my loss and appreciate the "children I have to love" in my life.

But this week, after my hysterectomy, I was not prepared for the emotions that would flood me when I looked pregnant from my swollen belly. The cruel irony of getting your uterus removed and looking like you have a little baby bump...that I did not expect and was not prepared for.
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  #2  
Unread 08-22-2020, 11:39 AM
Cruel Irony: 18 days Post Op and I look 6 Months Pregnant

  Quote:
Originally Posted by ConnieReed View Post
I am 47 years old and have had issues with my reproductive organs since I was 11 years old. Painful, irregular periods were the norm from the start. My first GYN surgery was a laparectomy to remove a cyst that had wrapped around my fallopian tube at the age of 19. I have endometriosis, so had several Laparoscopic scopes to clear some of that and increase chances of pregnancy. My husband is 6.5 years older than I am, so when I was 40, I decided it was time to accept that my life path is not intended for pregnancy and my own children. I am blessed with a beautiful niece and three beautiful nephews that I couldn't love any more if they were flesh of my flesh, and I am able to help my sisters with their children more because I don't have children of my own. I will be honest, there are times that I still get waves of sadness and loss. I hate mother's day. Recently, when friends started having grandchildren, another wave of grief and loss hit me. It comes in unexpected times, but it is not unexpected. It was all part of my process and I expected that I would feel those things forever even though I decided to mourn my loss and appreciate the "children I have to love" in my life.

But this week, after my hysterectomy, I was not prepared for the emotions that would flood me when I looked pregnant from my swollen belly. The cruel irony of getting your uterus removed and looking like you have a little baby bump...that I did not expect and was not prepared for.
Hi,
I wish I had better answers but I've come to the conclusion it's a waiting game now and I have to press through whatever comes my way. I found through this group that it's a good 6mo-1yr that our bodies need to recover fully and will go through some things in that time. I'm 38 also with no kids, also have endo and had the hysterectomy for adenomyosis. Mine was 6 months ago on Feb 27. In the beginning, the tenderness and bloating was the worst. Then I started getting hormonal changes that I wasn't expecting since I kept both ovaries. I started taking a probiotic and the bloating went down some. But we will experience what they call swelly belly for awhile especially with the more activity we start to do. I guess it's a natural response to inflame while healing. By the 4th month I finally could say I was glad I went through with it and was feeling better. I was fitting in clothes better and felt good about myself. Fast forward 2 months and I'm back down to maybe I shouldn't have done it. I'm gaining weight with no changes of my own doing and hair shedding are my biggest concerns along with emotional rollercoaster. I've battled with 3 doctors telling me it's all normal or I'm just getting older and one even said they never heard of premature failure but finally got one to check hormone levels. I can't make sense of the results but they're all in a normal range but at different cycle stages so idk what that means but I'm sure they'll tell me it's nothing. I don't know how to deal with it and yesterday just decided I'm over it and can't research anymore trying to help doctors figure it out. I'm going to try a 21 day smoothie fast I found and try to get more active but the lack of motivation and fatigue kills me. I know this probably didn't help much but hang in there. I'm holding on to the "it will get better" hope from others right now. Try a probiotic though, maybe it will help a little. And if you're doing too much in a day, cut back some. I can tell even at 6 months if my days are too long even if not strenuous my body is affected. I can say for me I haven't felt the grief of not having kids other than missing out on the experience. I settled in my heart about 5 years ago it wasn't in the cards for me. Working in daycare sealed the deal also lol. I hate I couldn't give my parents the experience of grandchildren the most I think. And now I feel like I'll never find a partner because of the self confidence I'm beginning to lack with everything going on. Smh....
Best of luck to you, hang in there
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