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Upcoming hysterectomy 10/26: The stress of everything ... All at once Upcoming hysterectomy 10/26: The stress of everything ... All at once

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Unread 10-21-2020, 05:38 AM
Upcoming hysterectomy 10/26: The stress of everything ... All at once

Hey sisters,

I'm struggling. I read some of the things you all have to deal with and I know that my situation is just easier but that doesn't stop me from feeling these things.

I'm grateful that I don't have children to care for and I have a nurturing husband, making the recovery stress lighter. I'm grateful that we both work from home, so he will be here for me and I can slowly pick work back up as I'm able. I'm grateful that, besides the uterine cancer, I'm fit and healthy, allowing me to (hopefully) get back on my feet sooner.

COVID is kicking back up here (I'm American, but I live in England) and restrictions and press conferences and stress are starting up all over again. People are dying, hospitals are filling up, and I can't see any friends for weeks.

I'm trying to focus on work, but I can't. My surgery is on Monday. Three work days remain. Busy ones. But my stress level is too high for me to be of any use to anyone.

I just got a job offer. A beyond-my-wildest-dreams job. Trying to figure out how to manage this with my recovery time and not screwing over my current colleagues is tough. I work for a small non-profit. We're like family and leaving them in a lurch is not something I'm willing to do.

The **** elections. The stress of that is too much on its own.

Then the cancer diagnosis. My second one before age 40. I will be fine with the uterine cancer: this surgery should resolve it, but am I predisposed? Will this keep happening?

And the surgery itself. What could go wrong, the long recovery, not being able to do things, not being able to exercise.

I don't know what to do with all of this, honestly. I just want to sleep and eat brownies for the next 5 days. Okay, enough of my snivelling. I need to get back to work and face 5 hours of zoom calls.
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Unread 10-21-2020, 09:09 PM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy 10/26: The stress of everything ... All at once

Hi hopefulgeek to HysterSisters!

I am sorry about your diagnosis, but I am so glad you found this site.

All your feelings, fears and emotions are normal. Having a hysterectomy is such an overwhelming experience. It is such a difficult surgery to process and digest.

It is stressful for everyone no matter their situation. And it is great that your DH can stay home with you because you both work from home. But all of the unknowns after the surgery are concerning, and you do not know how it will be for you until you are there. Most women do have this surgery, recover (it does take time - think weeks and not days), and return to their lives without major or significant complications.

You will be able to return to exercising - it will just take time. Initially, all you will be able to do is take brief walks - and walk you should as it helps you heal. When released by your doctor, you will be able to SLOWLY return to your exercise routine. I am a power walker, and it took about 9 months before I could do my normal speed and distance.

COVID19 has upended many a surgery, and can cause issues with visitation in the hospital. I do not know how it is in Great Britain, but in the US hospitals, multiple women are reporting that they are alone in the hospital. I know it is scary going to the hospital with this COVID19 going around as well.

Regarding the job opportunity, that is obviously your call. But, you probably have to address this surgery first, given your diagnosis. Sometimes they are willing to wait, if you explain it to them. If you do not want to leave your current position, then do not.

Just know that you are not alone in any of this. We will be your side throughout this process.

Unread 10-21-2020, 09:36 PM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy 10/26: The stress of everything ... All at once


I'm very sorry you're facing all of this, and those nerves certainly do ramp up the closer we get to surgery. I had a different type of gyn cancer (cervical adenocarcinoma) but was also diagnosed with two types of cancer before 40 (melanoma). As far as that circumstance multiplying into additional cancers, that hasn't happened thus far in my case, although I did have one additional melanoma removed about a year following my rad/hyst. Depending on what your other cancer was and if there is a possible connection, you might consider discussing genetic testing with your doctor. Otherwise, the best we can do on that front is try to maintain a reasonably healthy lifestyle, remain vigilant with our screenings and listen to our bodies.

For any issues specific to your diagnosis, we do have a Cancer Concerns forum you're welcome to check out, if you'd like. There's lots of good information as well as experienced ladies to share the journey. The "good" news here is that it sounds like you're catching things when they are most treatable.

I know this all seems overwhelming, especially with your additional personal situations, but you absolutely CAN do this. Just remember to take one step at a time, and you'll get through this. And, if you need to catch some extra zzzz's and devour some brownies, that's perfectly fine.

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Unread 10-22-2020, 02:16 AM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy 10/26: The stress of everything ... All at once

I’m also in England. My surgery isn’t until mid-December and I just keep hoping it will still be able to take place. We aren’t allowed visitors - but that will only be for a very short time as we will then be home. The constant changes to what we can and can’t do are really stressful. I quite like being on my own but even I am feeling the need to just see people and I can’t.

I’m all over the place - raging one minute, irritable the next and then wanting to cry.

Your home situation is like mine and how fortunate we are to have an OH who will care for us without needing to worry about having kids to care for as well. You can really concentrate on your recovery.

I’m so sorry about the cancer diagnosis and with all of this it is easy to downward spiral into worrying about everything. All you can do is believe that this will help you and then take it a day at a time.

With regards to your job, maybe take a step back and think about nurturing yourself instead of others? If it is a dream job and you are a small close knit company, then those people will care about you, no doubt be concerned about your operation and will want the best for you. Perhaps you could talk to them and maybe be pleasantly surprised how supportive they are?

I wish you well.
Unread 10-22-2020, 04:20 AM
Re: Upcoming hysterectomy 10/26: The stress of everything ... All at once


It does seem that my surgery will go ahead, despite the worsening conditions in my county. And they are allowing my husband to accompany me, as long as he isolates with me from the point of my pre-surgical covid test, which is just midday Friday until Monday morning, so not even a big deal. I'm glad he'll be able to be there. Even though it's just one night, seeing him before I go in and when I come out will comfort me. And he'll be able to let the rest of my family know how things went without me feeling pressure to make phone calls while coming out of anaesthesia.


Interestingly, I work in genomics for personalized medicine, particularly cancers and rare diseases. My job is to help make sure patients have access to the best tests, scientists have access to the best data, and they can pass quality information back to doctors so they can make the best medical decisions. Ironically, I can't find a way to get full genome sequencing. Not even with all of my contacts. I got cancer before our team has been able to help get this system up and running. Such is life, I suppose.


Having my surgery that far out would bring me stress as well, especially with *everything* being so uncertain. I wish you luck.

Luckily, I already work closely with the team that has made an offer and my manager is a really kind woman. She knows that I'm going in for surgery (without more detail beyond) and that I would like to wait to give notice until after I see how it went. If there were no major complications, we can just go on as planned, but if I'm going to need significant time, it's best for everyone if I'm on medical leave with my current employer.

Thanks to all of you for your responses. I have been avoiding posting anything about what I'm going through on social media for various reasons. But, it has left me feeling isolated, even though I have told (and can talk to) some of my closest friends. Having you all here to open up to really helps.

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