hyst due to IUD

Hello everyone, I'm new here, scared as all get out, but thank god I stumbled on this site!
I'm having my hyst (they will TRY to take it vaginally---fingers crossed---and I'm keeping my overies) because of a complication with my IUD wich I had for 6 years with no problems. Seems it "shifted", punctured my uterus, and have had reoccuring bacterial infections ever since. The last bout I had one shot of anti-biotics and was on TWO different ones(pills) for 14 days to get rid of it! The biggest thing I'm facing right now is a new relationship (I've been seperated for a year and just started seeing this wonderful guy 3 months ago) Not to mention my body becomming resistant to the antibiotics!!!(even scaryier..but just slightly!lol)
Imagine my horror when right when the "time" seems right, I come down with yet ANOTHER infection! So when my Dr suggested this I a) burst into tears- I just turned 34! and b) thought, ok...maby this is the answere. My new guy seems really understanding and supportive, but how involved should I let him be in the recovery process? If we haven't been "intimate" yet, how "messy" will I be afterwords? I mean, will I need help getting off the toliet?lol!!!
I know if he's "the one" we'll eventually be changing eachother's dipers, but will I be going thru something that would scare Mother Theresa away???
Any advice would be greatly appreciated...and thank you all for being here!
Lisa

Well, I can't make you any promises about what will happen for you, but I can tell you about my experience, which wasn't too scary.

I had a TAH, so I had a visible external incision - if you can have a vaginal hyst you won't have that, and that in itself is less visually disturbing (though my incision is very tidy and by now (9 mos) almost invisible).

I had my cervix removed, so there could have been some bleeding and discharge after, but except for the first day there wasn't anything at all - not even the stitches from the vaginal cuff.

You might vomit after - some women have reactions to the meds. But you can ask for anti- nausea drugs in your IV ( I didn't have this problem).

You will have gas, generally not smelly, but sometimes noisy (but guys don't seem to be bothered by toots, do they?)

If you end up having a TAH, some women sometimes have problems that require dressing the incision site. If you needed help changing the dressing, that might bother him.

But over all, based on an "average" recovery I don't think it should be too scary for your dbf.

best wishes,

Hi Lisa!

It's been a long time since I've had a boyfriend, since I have been married 16 years, but in my opinion, based on my own experience, you may feel more comfortable having a close friend or relative helping you at home for the first few days, rather than your "new" boyfriend. If you have your hyst vaginally, you won't be in such rough shape like me and the other "abdominal gals" but you may be pretty emotional and not really "yourself." You probably wouldn't scare him off, but I think you would feel more comfortable and relaxed having a female assistant helping you the first few days you are home. As for visits to the hospital, a couple of short ones from your DBF would be nice...the nursing staff should take good care of you so that you are presentable to visitors. Again, this is just my opinion. Best wishes and good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I think I would have to agree, you might feel more comfortable with a female helping you the first few days. But that is your decision, have you discussed how he feels, maybe he does want to help. You do whatever is comfortable for you.

I'm married and DH plans to do whatever I need him to do. I am to hopefully have a TVH, but if it has to go another way, I don't want him to be the one helping me with the personal things. I don't think I will be comfortable with him doing those things. I will have my daughter and her g-ma help me.

A womans touch is a lot gentler than the mans. My dad tried to help my mom after her TAH/Bladder Suspension, every time he tried to clean around the wound, or put a new bandage on, he would press too hard. Dad got fired after the second time. And my DH, I know him, he killed my head one time. I thought I would have him help me color my hair. He kept digging the comb into my scalp. He said he was not pressing hard, but darn it, I learned why my DD says he is not allowd to brush her hair.
The big goober even hurt himself after his surgery. He was changing the bandage, pressed to hard when he cleaned it, and again pressed to hard when he put a clean bandage on. So there is no way he is going to get near my hurts until they are 100% healed.

Kedi