Unusual Situation I'm In.....

What I'm about to say may sound crazy. Let me lay a little foundation. I was married for 17yrs. We did not have any children. Our divorce was very amicable. We just grew apart, no anger. We have remained good friends since our divorce 7yrs ago. My boyfriend is ok with the fact that I have remained friends with my ex. We have the ex over for cook outs and various other little functions. They carry on conversations as though they we old friends (ok, they tolerate each other very well).

Here is my problem: My ex has had various major health issues i.e., brain tumor, hip relplacement, while we were married. SO, we both know what we want from our hospital stays and that it is imperitive to have an advocate especially on the 1st day post op.

My boyfriend hurt his back at work. I am concerned about him sleeping on the cot at the hospital the 1st night. I need him to be in the best condition for me when I come home from the castle.

OK... My sister offered to stay with me the 1st night. I love my sister to death but she is very nice and timid and I just don't feel real comfortable to have her watch over me on the 1st post -op day. She would not question anything.

Finally....the delimma... I talked to my boyfriend today about the 1st night. Told him that since it's really not an option for him to stay with me due to his back, due to the fact that my sister is not so reliable, would it be ok with him if my ex stayed the 1st night? I know it sounds a bit odd but my concern is for my safety. My boyfriend is not real comfortable with this. I understand where he is coming from. I don't know what to do..... Any thoughts ??????

It's really up to you, but I was fine by myself the first night.

You are right.... I'm a big girl. If the surgery turns out to be a little rougher than expected, my family can decided if any of them want to stay with me. You just made me realize that I don't need to waste any more thoughts on this.... THANKS...

Charlene

I told my husband (who has a bad back) and my sister to not come up at all until my release day. The surgery was monday, Hubby stayed that day until I got into a room (day totally gone from my mind). Tues I basically slept the day away. Wed I dozed and read the book I brought with me. Thursday I walked the halls until the Dr said I could go home.

You won't really need anybody, all you will be doing is sleeping, (or trying to) and the drugs will have you in a stupor. The nurses will be in hourly to wake you up and make sure you're still alive.

Surgery day DH stayed with me until I was in my room and settled in. Even the nurses told him to go home because I was drugged up.

Day after - they got me up early - and I was on the phone to him telling him to bring Cran-rasbpberry and Cran-Apple juice and not to forget Starbucks because the hospital coffee was awful. He came in and helped me walk the halls with my IV and tummy pillow and was a very good Marine in that he pushed me to walk and walk and walk.

2nd day after surgery I was sprung and at home in my recliner.

My Dr. is so wonderful The morning of my discharge she brought me a cup of Starbucks coffee. The hospital coffee was gross.

I agree that you will probably be asleep most of the time and won't even know who's there or not. If your boyfriend is not comfortable with your ex being there, go with him on it and have someone else stay with you if possible. I'm afraid I agree with him on this one. You may be asking for future problems if you have your ex help you with this. I'm sure you'll be fine on your own.