Too embarrassed to ask dr (what will anatomy look like after all the repairs?)

I'm 41 and too old to be this timid but I can't help it and want to ask anonymously.

I've read varying reports from people about sex being better, the same or worse. There are so many variables depending on age, lifestyle, the type of surgery, hormones etc.

My dr said it would be like before children. I've read that to be terribly painful to crazy exciting from others. I'm scared to lose that part of me as I have a very active sex life now (uncomfortable at times because of prolapse and awkward because of laxity)

But I want to know what it will look like down there? In having VH, sacrospinous colpopexy, sling replacement, cystocele. Rectocele and enterocele repair with colpoperineorrhaphy (something about repairing perineal muscle). I have normal labia but because of the prolapse, they bulge wide open.

Will they go back to correct position once the prolapse is fixed?

And do I have a shot at continued active sex life (hopefully better) after surgery?' My friends said yes but they only had VH, not prolapse and pelvic repair.

I wanted to bump this for you. I can't answer it as my surgery was just last week. Hopefully someone else will chime in soon.

Unfortunately, I really don't know. Personally, I'd say in general don't worry about what things look like down there -- and take things slow once you're cleared for sex. For most partners, when you *feel* sexy, you *are* sexy... so try not to worry too much about aesthetics and concentrate on what's pleasurable for you.

Please don't be afraid to tell your doctor *anything*. If you really are embarrassed to talk with him, perhaps there is something about him which conveys to you that you shouldn't feel comfortable talking with him? Most doctors would really hope that's not the case. Doctors are there to help with the most intimate body issues there are, and it's their job to discuss all that stuff. Especially the doctor who performed your hysterectomy. I feel my gyno-surgeon has seen me more intimately than anyone else ever has -- right there magnified on the big DaVinci screen - and I wouldn't hesitate to ask him anything. You've placed your trust in this doc to use his skills to see you through tough medical issues and put you together again. He had not only your intimacy, but your life in his hands. It should be okay to trust him with these questions, too.

My Gyno post surgery looked and said "beautiful anatomy" I cracked up laughing. Two days later prior to discharge from hospital she checked again, felt with two fingers and said again "just beautiful, beautiful anatomy, the repair has just gone so well".
SO whilst I can't tell as haven't looked, I think the surgeons pride themselves on making it look good! I have felt things and certainly feels "normal".
That aside, whilst yes it's about how you feel and all that, I totally get your feelings. I had a big lump of granulated scar tissue as the entrance to my vagina and it bothered me so much yet partner was so awesome. But it's how YOU feel.
I'm pretty confident you'll be right xx

I am so glad you are asking. I am 3 weeks post op from the same surgery you described.

I can tell you I know my vaginal apperance outside is no different looking, I asked my Dr at my 2 week check up. She said it is very normal to have these concerns, but the surgery does not alter the apperance.

As far as the physical/sexual I will have to differ that to a sister that is further out in her post op.

I feel if you find a Dr you are comfortable with, these questions may come easier. Please keep asking, we are all her to learn.

I had a cystocele and rectolcele and sling a year and a half ago, through the vagina. I Could not have been happier!! Yea for me and my sex life! The bulging was gone but everything on the outside did droop south a little more (I am 49) and think I have lost a little of the firmness because of age. My recovery was great and I was very pleased and HAPPY when it was time to have sex again! Ha ha When the Dr did his exam he said "absolutely amazing!" Lol I shared that with my husband and he agreed! Good luck sweetie! I think you are going to be VERY happy!

I'm love the comments!

I had wondered too if things would sag more after the bulge was gone. I'm not being vain but since the labia bulge out and get caught on things sometimes I just wondered if they would be worse after the bulge was gone (more droopy).
They aren't severe enough right now to do any form of surgery I don't think but will see how it feels after surgery healing.

I'm happy to hear some people are having happy sex LOL-I need to stop reading the horror stories.