TAH: 2 years of watchful waiting

I remember signing up for this site around two years ago when I was just diagnosed with fibroids and looking for information about second opinions.

The whole story: I have had *horrible* periods ever since they started-- at 10! Think "The Shining" with gigantic blood clots. After it got to the point that my anemia landed me in the ER, my gyn at the time placed a Mirena IUD, which stemmed the bleeding to a normal level. The fourth year into the IUD, I started bleeding again and was experiencing spurts of sharp pain in my pelvic floor. I figured it was the IUD and the NP did too, so I was sent for an ultrasound just in case. It wasn't my first transvaginal, and I knew something was up when the ultrasound tech started clicking and measuring on the screen. So, there they were, and I was whisked in to see an MD. The doctor I saw was nice, but I wasn't too comfortable with her level of experience or readiness to do surgery without enough testing to determine the scope of the problem.

I eventually got a second opinion and had the whole workup that I anticipated. The bleeding and had started to wane by then, and he wasn't too gung-** about surgery (and I had oral exams to get through), so we agreed that next step would probably be ablation.

Because I see a bunch of other doctors for chronic health problems that are, dare I say, insistent, the gyn health care was pushed aside. Then about a year ago, oddly, my periods got shorter and shorter. And my chubby gut got bigger and bigger. I had another ultrasound but the size hadn't changed. Periods: practically non-existent by last September, and I found out I was chronically anemic in December. Since periods clearly weren't the source of bleeding, and one of my illnesses, lupus, can lead to anemia, I had a whole workup, and found out I was gluten intolerant. Diet change led to a deflated belly. Problem solved? Nope. Pelvic floor pain started coming back. Except now it moved up my side and wrapped around my back, meeting up with the site of my usual lumbar soreness. It felt as if someone was whacking me with a 2x4. The freakiest part was when I was in excruciating pain during "shark week" and I felt a large lump just below my navel. I had to make sure I wasn't being a hypochondriac, so I had my partner check it too-- it was hard! so I made (she made) an appointment for me, which was last week. Again there they were, much bigger and badder, even on just a bimanual exam. My doctor called me on Saturday with the u/s results.

Now both my doctor and I are on the same page and I'm scheduled for a TAH in September. I'm only 31, so definitely keeping my ovaries, but losing the fallopian tubes. I'm strongly inclined toward keeping the cervix as well. I'm a bit nervous because I know surgery can cause flares in some women with lupus, and I've been in remission for about a year. There are so many things that I won't be able to do while I'm recovering, and I hate the idea of feeling useless and piling so much on my partner's plate. *And* until now I was on track to wrap up my research and finish grad school in December, which probably won't happen since I'll be away for at least a month. *And* I haven't told my mom yet-- even though she had one years ago and knows what it's like. Don't want to worry her too.

I have about two months to go. I already have my pre-op instructions. It's being done at an highly rated ob/gyn hospital, and my partner has promised to talk to the head of dining services to get me the good stuff. Still, it feels almost like coming out to tell people I'm having surgery, and I'm an impatient planner. I want it over with!

What should I do between now and then to get things together (and myself together!) prior to surgery? I'm calling to make my pre-op appointment tomorrow, and seeing my rheumatologist prior to surgery. Now it's a week after the scheduling and I have all this nervous energy that I need to harness! Soothing words and kind advice totally welcome.

(My apologies if this veered into tl;dr territory.)

As you clearly have a supportive partner I would focus on yourself. Get yourself into a positive & healthy mindset both mentally and physically. This will benefit both yourself and your partner.
Do not sweat the small stuff.
If you can do some walking everyday to get a bit of fitness and clear your headspace whilst your doing it, it can be a very relaxing and rewarding exercise.
When cooking meals that can freeze, double them up and freeze the extra protions.
Tweak your diet slightly so it is a little bit more healthy, this will also make you feel better about yourself and can reap some rewards.
After surgery drink plenty of fluids.
I am on day 6 post op from a laproscopic hysterectomy, l feel so much better than l expected, l put this down to a positive attitude

I hope every thing goes well for you, best wishes

It seems like you have your head ready already, which is a huge part of it for most of us! I would say just be sure you have your post op space prepared with your phone, charger, books, remote, lotion, nail file etc, whatever you would need close at hand. Plan to be staying on one floor for a few days at let with a TAh so that the bathroom is close by. I have kids so I needed help in the house for them, otherwise, if it is just you and your partner, she may need help with coverage when she has to get out for work or other things. You may need help getting to the bathroom etc the first few days. I didn't feel comfortable staying alone the first five or six days. It is tough to get up out of bed and I felt dizzy for about ten days.

As far as nervous energy, ugh no one knows where to put that! I say distract. Find something else bc two months is a long time to use up and try to plan for a hyst the whole time! But do share with your friends. So many women keep it quiet and almost secret- no reason to do that. Let ppl know, ask them to spell your partner, bring in gluten free food for post op help and come and visit with you when you are recovering.
Good luck, and hope all goes well!

Thanks so much for the support! I told my advisor today at our weekly meeting, and she just asked me to let her know how long I would be out when I finally have surgery. I think it helps thatshe's an MD. well, psychiatrist, but still. I also told my mother after a looonnng diversion talking about one of my cat's health travails. I hadn't shared too much about the fibroids before this, so she was a bit surprised and wanted to make sure there weren't other options. She's had one too, so I understand the worry. And she's a mom. Duh, right? Anyway, she is going to figure out how she can take a few days off to come and help us out ( she's in MI, I'm in RI) right afterwards. I guess I'll be confined upstairs for a while. Thank goodness for wireless.

Tomorrow I'm "coming out" to my grad program director, who has helped get me through other heallth crises. ( hello, bipolar!)

I think I need a pre-opp pre-op appointment!

Hi brown_seamonkey, It really sounds like you are getting it all together. Good idea not to spring this on somebody at the last minute, especially your mom. Mine was upset that I waited a week to tell her. I had my surgery 3 days after my final exam .... ever. I had to beg the doc to let me wait until I finished. That doesn't sound like an option for you. Hopefully, it will all go smoothly and you'll get no problems from your grad program director. My best advice is to keep yourself busy. I think that helped me the most. Try not to worry about the what if's. They will drive you crazy. Keep on posting questions and read posts by other pre-op sisters. Take Care.