Seriously? You tell me this now...

I have had my hysterectomy planned about a month.... things are planned for day before and days after, daughter to and from school plan down, work is being nice about it,... ya know everything to prepare for being out of commission for a while...
WELL recently DH is all inquisitive if I'm nervous, if I still want to do the surgery, talking about my pains, ... stuff I wish he would have brought up more than 2 weeks before my surgery.
I am a very tough cookie. I can handle A LOT - emotionally and physically, but I CANNOT handle the pains I'm having. I've had them going on 11 years. He wants to jump in and start talking to me about it. SERIOUSLY!?! I could just fall over.
Previously when I asked his opinions and how he felt, he was like it's your body, It's your decision. So I made my decision. I go for pre-op March 3 and surgery is March 11.

I was on the verge of screaming when he started this recently. I know he has concerns, but does he think that NOW is a good time for me to start second guessing my decision.

Sorry, I needed to vent.

Hi there!

I do understand and I am sure many of us do!

You have gone through a lot and you have come to peace with your decision. Just calmly share this with DH. Men may not get 'this' because you don't hear about many men and their reproductive organs. You are probably hearing him verbalize his fears.

No worries....WE are here. Keep pushing forward.

Men don't show emotions like women. He is probably getting nervous now as he probably never thought it was Ever going to happen. My husband was like that too. He asked questions about a week before the surgery .He a was a wreck on the day of the surgery. Where as I was calm.

natg

You may want to refer him to Mister HysterSisters .

There is some great information there. He may be as nervous as you and think that asking now is a way of showing supports.

You are going to find extremely varying reactions from people. They don't understand and are scared for you.

You will need A LOT of patience during this process.

My suggestion is to let him come to the pre-op visit with the surgeon, let/encourage him to ask questions... it may help him understand the whys and whats will happen.

Just as we have to process this decision about having our uterus removed, so does our partner. And we are all different people and process things in different ways. Perhaps as your date approaches he finds it is suddenly getting very real. And his nerves are kicking in. Maybe before he was feeling it was no big deal but has come to the realization that yes, it is a big deal. And he is getting scared. Scared for your safely, worried he won't be able to pick up the slack around home well enough, worried about how it may change your relationship. Yes, he is asking these questions a little late in the game... but at least he is asking them. My advice: try to put your frustration aside and listen to him. Discuss all his concerns and ease his mind. As frustrating as it is that he is wanting to do this now, you are blessed that he cares and wants to talk about it. It's sad but many women don't get that.