LAVH: no emotional support

I am still a couple weeks out from surgery, but my thoughts and emotions are getting the better of me. I feel as though I am being snorfleed - will no longer be femimine which is of utmost importance to me. I am also scared more than I ever have been in my life. Been crying a lot and feeling very alone. My husband is very supportive with physical/material things like housekeeping and such; but I have no one to talk to about how I feel. He thinks nothing more of it than clipping his toe nails.

Well I'm glad he's helpful around the house, but since he doesn't seem to get the scope of how this is for you maybe you could try sitting him down and talking about it or writing him a letter. Men process things differently than we do and are definately hardwired emotionally than us. What seems momentous to you may seem trivial to him (i.e. you feeling less feminine and he not seeing it that way at all). Also, you can always come here to talk about anything and we won't brush you off. Someone on these boards has been right where you are at some point in their journey and can relate, promise. (((hugs)))

((((firedeptwife))))

I can understand how you feel... I was feeling completely unattractive and SO not "girlie" after my surgery - mostly because I didn't feel like doing my hair or putting on my makeup (not even counting I still find that my yoga pants are my outfit of choice!) You get the picture

SO anyway, my DH came home from work one day and told me he wanted to take me out for supper. I looked at him and burst into tears and told him I didn't want him to have to be seen with me in public because I looked so awful. He had the most stunned expression on his face and told me, "Honey, you are beautiful to me EVERY day."

I think that we sometimes don't give our hubby's the credit they deserve; and I'll bet that your DH probably feels the same way. They didn't marry us for our uterus; they married us because they love the women we are and that doesn't change because we've had a hysterectomy.

Please don't be too hard on yourself and remember that your "Sisters" are here to support you just like Jen said before.

cmcgal put it so well. Your uterus does not define you; and your DH loves you rather than it. It is so very normal to feel anxious and unsure - it's a scarey operation. It is great that DH is helpful around the house - you will need that. We're here for you emotionally; and I lay bets he will be, too. It may be hard for him to show; so let him. One thing that did help me was to pick myself up, do my hair and makeup - even when I didn't feel like it. I always felt better after.

I wish yu the very best of luck in your surgery and healing.

The others have said things so beautifully that I don't have much to add to that. But, I wanted to suggest having your DH go to misterhystersisters.com. It might help him understand how to better understand and support you.

Best wishes!