can'tbelive it i'm gutted

feeling absolutly gutted. two weeks ago had hystoscopy and it was agreed i could have hysterectomy, but would need 3 monthly injections to shrink the fibroids first. no problem i thought go home they said we'll write to you with the details. how wrong could i be. after nearly two weeks hadnt heard anything so got in touch with the GP she did some phoning was told i'd hear some time this week well hear i did this morning. a letter arrived for an outpatient appointment with a different consultant for 5th may at a different hospital no date for the op no date for starting the injections and having to wait till may to go and sit in front of yet another doctor whose going to say i don't know wat. the gp receptionist did some ringing. no one at the hospital can tell me anything they have had to request my notes to see what it says. i feel like crying. its my sons wedding tomorrow and i feel like curling up . everytime i think of todays letter i feel sick. the only thing that makes me feel i didnt imagine it all is the gp has got a letter saying the hyst was explained to me and about he injections. need support badly i haven't told any of my family i can't cope with trying to explain. any one got any suggestions. airliebird xx

airliebird,
Wow. You have a lot on your plate.
Not only do you have the stress of waiting but you have your son's wedding. My daughter got married a few years ago. Beautiful day, but still stressful.
Take a deep breath. Cry if you need to. But take it one day at a time. You are in the process of reclaiming your life. You will get there. There are lots of people here who "listen" to you. They may not say anything but they read your posts and hold you in their thoughts.
Good luck! (And enjoy the wedding!)

thanks its good to know others r out here listening to my rants. feeling very cheated at the mo. like i imagine most of us ladies i have had to wait years to get to this point, i thought i was nearly there and its all been taken away again. i've even bought a new dressing gown etc to go into hospital with how silly does that sound now. i can't even bear to look at the bag its in now. what i want to know is how does this affect the 18 week directive from the govt. i saw the consultant in january, had the hystoscopy in march and now being offered an outpatient in may that is more than 18 weeks and ive never been that good at maths, so if i go in may and start the injections it will august before the op thats 8 months waiting time great. feel completly lost.

airliebird,
Thought of you yesterday. Hope you were able to enjoy your son's wedding.
I've tried to think of all kind of things to make you feel better. Words just don't seem to be enough. I hope knowing there are people here who will listen will give you some small measure of hope and strength. The waiting is the worst. We can project all kinds of things happening while we wait.
I waited 4 months (part of that was my choice, trying to time my recovery where it would make the least impact on my work). During that time I decided to get as hysterectomy healthy as I could. I'm a big girl so I joined a fitness group. One of the hardest things I've done in a long time because I was so tired and uncomfortable by then. But, it turned out to be the best thing I did. I was able to support myself with my arms and legs and not use my abdomen. I think it has helped my recovery a lot. So maybe it is something you can focus on during the wait time? You've already started by having the fresh dressing gowns. It's just a thought.
Hugs!

Hi airliebird! I missed your initial post, I'm glad to read it now. I'm SO sorry to hear how things have been going for you, and I can totally relate to that devastating feeling.

I think it's totally fair to allow yourself to be disappointed/gutted.....for abit. Then, for your own sake, I hope you can force yourself towards positive thought. For me personally, I had to keep finding something that I could act on. The times when I started to feel depressed were those times like where you are at now, when there's no specific date in front of you as "the next milestone". It is really hard when it goes on and on....

How was your son's wedding yesterday?? I really hope that it allowed you to have some fun and feel happy! That was another thing that has helped me in my journey....when I get down in the dumps, I remind myself to make it temporary. I think it's important to acknowledge those overwhelmiing feelings...this is really big stuff! And at the same time, there are so many "mind over matter" stories that I've read that remind me that attitude is such a critical factor in the long haul. So I'd grieve/cry and then find some little thing I could act on and "use" to give me motivation. It's such a rollercoaster ride, isn't it!?



I love what IrishScot suggested about exercise....even though I haven't had any doctors promoting that, my best friend is a physiotherapist and she has been absolouty riding my behind about how important it is to do as much cardio as possible, even as simple as deepbreathing exercises, to help our lungs recover as quickly as possible, in addition to general fitness.

I wish I could help more. Please know you have a ton of support here, and I'd love to hear how you are feeling today....today is another day!

airliebird here
just logged on after a hectic weekend, my sons wedding. despite my horrible news or should i say no news about my op a few days before my sons wedding the day was fab. lots of tears mostly from the men , the speeches touched everyones heart. the day before we had massive hailstones and very dark skies the wedding day dawned bright sunny and cold, and the day was something to live with me forever. just another son to go now but no wedding plans yet thank goodness. i deliberatly decided not to think about the op everytime it came into my mind i banished it to another day. after going back to work night shifts this is the 1st chnce ive had to log on. and you've made me cry again, reading yr replies knowing i'm not alone and others understand what i'm going thro, thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. latest news on my missing op date/change of consultant is.... the consultants secretary hs managed to find my notes but the doctors are on holiday tll tuesday to read them. i've dropped hints that i'm thinking of putting a complaint in. so instead of looking forward to my second round of injections to shrink the fibroids i'm still waiting for someone to read my notes. thank you all again for your thoughts. xxxx