TAH: husband worried

I feel guilty. I am totally not worried about the surgery or recovery but my husband is...
Any suggestions to ease his mind?
I mean I have printed out some of the articles for him and have shared some info... he's a weenie when it comes to medical info... but I can see him "stressing".

My husband is stressing too. He lost his dad suddenly over the summer and blames himself for not getting him to the doctor sooner, etc. So I am afraid to even mention if I am having pain or something--he just panics.

He did come in and meet with my GYN during the consult, so he had a chance to ask lots of questions. Would that help your husband?

Other than that, I have no suggestions. I'm just trying to get through the next 5 weeks without making him worry more.

I had a copy of the booklet available here (What 100,000 Women know about hysterectomy) that I left laying around for my guy. I also took him to my pre-op doctor appointments - he didn't ask any questions but I think it made him feel better, knowing I wasn't keeping anything from him, knowing that he could ask questions (even though he didn't), meeting the doctor so when the doc talked to him after surgery he knew who he was, etc ....

It might also help to tell your guy that it's okay to be worried and scared ... and that being such doesn't mean either of you have to fall apart ... and that you both will keep a positive attitude about everything as well as know you can ask any questions or voice any concerns at any time.

My hysterectomy came with a significant cancer scare (thankfully benign) so there was that added dimension. I told my guy that we would cross that bridge if and when we got there and if I did have cancer, then we would get through it fine.

I would also share with him some of the things I read on here - especially the positive posts about orgasms post hysterectomy. And even though we would have a 6 week "break" from intercourse we could do other things, and when I get the "all clear" we can "do it" whenever we want - woo hoo! And that is definitely worth a 6 week wait! Never mind the sexy panties I'll be able to wear without consulting the calendar .... and I'm also planning on getting some really nice sheets for the bed (probably TMI for most men but us gals know!).

I would also tell my guy that I did appreciate him being worried about me and that I knew he would be a great 'Nurse Ratchett' for me - that some girls aren't so lucky.

Good luck to you both and to your guys, too! Remember your recovery from surgery is really a short time in the overall scheme of things - but also remember you only have one chance to heal properly from this surgery.

Have him go to Misterhystersisters http://www.misterhystersisters.com/. There is a lot of support there for hubbies and others.

Hope this will help.

Best wishes!

Thanks everyone! Y'all are wonderful!

I didn't know there is a website for men for hyster support. Thanks for sharing!

Thanks for sharing DH was asking me about if there was a male section

All I have to say...give your hubby's a big hug for caring so much to be stressed and worried! How wonderful for you that you have such caring men!

Hope they get the needed info off of the misterhyster website...good luck..

And to the guys...I went though mine alone...I can tell you this...it hurt to change the sheets on the bed, it drove me crazy not being able to sweep and vacuum...so make sure those little tasks are taken care of for your princess....she will heal faster if she is not stressed...plus it will be easier on you if she is not stressed!

Good luck! lots of hugs!

My husband isn't stressing about my upcoming surgery but he sure does overestimate my recovery time. He seems to think I'll be up and bopping around within days after the surgery despite my doctor telling him point blank what to expect and how long it will take before I can do my normal activities. I've done what I can to educate him but he's one of those types who has to learn by experience, often the hard way, so I guess that's what will have to happen.