young and scared, need advice.

Hello everyone.
I'm new. I'm having a abdominal hysterectomy due to excessive bleeding on 26 jul 04. I"ve had my tubes tied and have had two c-sections, but I was married then. I think I have eveything in order, but I'm on some kind of emotional rollercoaster and feel like I'm goin nuts. I'm young with two small children, and for the most part, have arranged for their care. My BF will be helping but I can't seem to calm down about any of this. Any advise??? Can't stop crying. Kim

The first thing you need to do is take a deep breath and calm down! It helped me to think of all the millions of other women who have undergone this surgery and have done just fine. Before my surgery, I mentioned to a lot of women that I was going to have a hysterectomy soon. I was amazed that almost EVERY woman that I said that to replied, "I had mine in ____ , and it was the best thing I ever did for myself!" In fact, I can't remember anyone saying they had NOT had a hysterectomy! The first thing about this that amazed me was that SO MANY women have had hysterectomies, and the second was that not a single woman told me she wished she hadn't had this surgery.

I know you have a fear of the unknown, just as I did. I am old (50), but I had never had major surgery before, and I was very nervous. But after I realized how many woman have gone through this, I started thinking, "If they can do it, so can I!" I think my positive attitude is what helped me make such a fast recovery. I am now 5 weeks post op and doing great. Those 5 weeks went by surprisingly fast for me. Since you are probably half my age, you are going to do even better than I have! Your youth is on your side. Also, I had a long incision all the way down my belly to deal with, and you won't have an incision at all. You will breeze through this like it's nothing! And just think! NO MORE AUNT FLO!!!!!!! Now, that is worth celebrating, isn't it??

If you have specific questions about the surgery, just ask. You will get plenty of answers here from women who have "been there, done that". It is very comforting to be in the company of so many who have gone through exactly what you are facing. You will be fine!

Jan

I read in your profile that you are having an abdominal hyst... so did I. I am not quite 4 weeks post op and I feel great. I am 24 so I can understand the young and scared. I also have young kids. I was so worried I updated my will and arranged care in case. Don't be a fool like me... you'll be fine. I worried much more than necessary. Age is definitely on our side as far as healing. I red you are a marine... all I can say is ooh rah and sempri fi. My dad was a marine. God bless you for serving our country. You'll do great, so don't worry about it

I know what you mean bout being scared. 26 here.. I have a hubby of 5 years and my little girl who will be 4 two weeks after my stay at the Castle... The thing that scares me is not the the surgery.. Please I have had 4 surgeries in the last 2 years.. It is that I don't want to be looked at different. All of my friends are having kids and I am having a hysterectomy. I am having it done because of excessive bleeding and really bad pain to the point I pass out wich has lasted for over 10 years... We dont' want anymore kids... I just don't want people to feel sorry for me. I guess if I dont' feel sorry for myself they won't... Well least we can go swimming anytime we want too! WOO HOO!

Ladies

Kim, first I'd like to welcome you to Hyster Sister's. What you are feeling is very normal, most of us went through it before our surgery too. Please know that you are not alone and we are always here to lend a hand or offer words of comfort.

I guess the first thing I would suggest is that if you are not sure this is what you want or need to do then you owe it to yourself to get a second or third opinion. This is life changing in many ways and not something to be entered into with doubts. I understand that you are scheduled for your castle stay soon but unless it is an emergency take your time and get yourself comfortable with your decision. Remember, it's your body and your choice so don't rush for someone else's convience. Read all you can and ask lots of questions. You would not be the first woman to change your mind before they administer the la la drugs.

I had my TAH/BSO (total abdominal hysterectomy w/both tubes and ovaries removed) a little more than 9 months ago and for me it was the best decision I ever made. I had no major complications during surgery and I was lucky enough to have a very smooth recovery.

You can do this, even without a spouse or S/O, a lot of ladies do. Just don't try to be superwoman or wondermom during recovery. Allow yourself time to heal and recover. Going through the grieving process is also part of this, it's healthy to grieve just try to not let the grief overwhelm you.

We are always here for you.

s

Donna