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whose cancer is it ? whose cancer is it ?

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Unread 10-01-2003, 10:17 PM
whose cancer is it ?

I have cervical caner. It was discovered shortly after discovering we were pregnant, which was also discovered a few months fof being married. We discussed all the options with the cancer speialist in DC where we lived at the time. He recommended an immediate termination of pregnancy and begin radiation and chemo. My husband and I deleted that option right away. Our ob.gyn aat the time focused on saving the baby first. We moved home to Miami and got a new cancer doctor as well as ob/gyn. He rana many tests and and ruled out chemo due to the fact that I have diabetes and some kidney damage because of it. He said chemo will kill my kidnews. You need kidney. Radiation was the only option left after hysterectomy. He too chose to protect the baby first then do ancer treatments.

As it happened I developed pre-eclamlpcia and it became life threatening to both of us. (baby and me) They had to do and emergcy C-Section then proceeded to the hysterectomy. MY heart stopped on the table I woke up with resperators. I spendt 2 horrible months in the hospital. The baby was born at 29 weeks and weighe 2 pounds. The last 2 years have been a long uphill struggle just to get throught the days.

Yes my husband stayed wisth me throughout the whole endevor, as wellas my growing baby. He shared some of the experiences and the cancer fight. He went to all the dr. appointments, stayed in the hospital most the 2 months, helped chage meds, sat through radiation effects, and shared sleepless nights. But often I feel lit is MY cancer. I have, or had, my poor body had to fight it, changed forever, I lost feelins of sex and for my husband(who basicsally is a good man after you weed out the bad habits), my hormones that are flying around, my post partum, my depressin, my teares that flowed, my body that got choped up, and I feel like my whole life got broken.

It may seem selfish, although my son and my husband shared every experinece along the entire fight of cancer, it is still a woman's cancer. My husband says it is OUR cancer, being all 3 o
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Unread 10-01-2003, 11:21 PM
whose cancer is it ?


I'm sorry for all that you've been through. Life sure deals us a big handful sometimes!

I know what you're feeling, though. Sometimes, no matter how much support and help you have, it's very lonely to have cancer. I try not to let myself get down, but sometimes it just happens.

You've been through so much. Sometimes you do have to grieve for the loss of what you expected your life to be like.

My thoughts and ers are with you tonight.
Unread 10-02-2003, 07:57 AM
whose cancer is it ?


One of my favourite sayings - now - is about what cancer cannot do - "It cannot invade the soul". I know that you have been through a lot, but, believe it or not, I think that it gives you the beauty of courage and strength, along with caring and compassion.

While you mention that it is your cancer, other people do come with us on our journeys. They do what they can, and we love them. However, I realise that the person who deals best with my cancer is me - and my life has changed radically, but it's not 'broken'. But, it will change, and I will embrace that.

It is a beautiful, sunny day here, with flowers blooming like in Florida. It always tells me that I am part of creation.

Big and ers to you
Unread 10-02-2003, 10:41 AM
whose cancer is it ?

It just goes to show us that cancer affects more than just us. Frankly, I want my husband and family to feel like they're fighting this, too. But I certainly know what you mean.

God bless you and yours on your journey.
Unread 10-02-2003, 08:30 PM
whose cancer is it ?

You are very blessed to have such a supportive and loving husband. I think too many men just don't know what to do . . . so they run and hide, or just sit around and feel useless because they can't fix it.

While cancer cannot invade the soul, the experience of recovering from it can certainly cause your soul to let its better qualities shine through. Lately, I've been asking myself, "How have I helped someone today?" Now that I'm working again, I've been so busy that I haven't been coming here every day, nor writing to as many people as I usually do. And you know what? That is not OK.

True -- I've attended a conference and a support group and spent more than an hour last night talking to a great woman who has ovarian cancer that spread to her brain. But my soul and spirit are urging me to find daily time to help others.

I am sorry for all you've been through, but the most important thing is that you are now alive and well and able to help others, and hopefully be there for your husband as he has been for you. I wish you a holiday season full of wonder and joy, and a 2004 that is full of blessings and healing and love and happiness.

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