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Feeling Kinda Blue Feeling Kinda Blue

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  #1  
Unread 05-25-2001, 08:08 PM
Feeling Kinda Blue

Thought I'd come to the place where everyone would understand how I'm feeling.

Seems like I've been blue all week, and I finally realized why. Last year at this time, I was diagnosed with cancer. Didn't know too much, except I had cancer and would need a hysterectomy. My appointment with the oncologist was right around the corner. I was scared to death. I had found just enough information on the WWW to convince myself that my cancer was Stage IV and I was dying.

Oncologist. Just the word made the whole thing seem so much more real. I totally hate seeing that word on all of my doctor appointment receipts and appointment cards. Guess I'd better get used to it. I'll be seeing it for a long time.

I'll be glad when the 1-year anniversary has come and gone. Seems like I've been obsessing about it a lot lately.

Thanks for listening. Sure helps to know you all are out there and understand.
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  #2  
Unread 05-25-2001, 11:00 PM
Feeling Kinda Blue

Hi,

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I guess we can never shake the horror of hearing the word cancer. I had my normal once a year mammy last week. The girl told me I would get the letter with the results in a few days. I have no reason to suspect a bad result, but I've been distracted and sort of holding my breath since. The letter came today.....10 days after....and I felt my heart pound as I opened it. All OK. I know I'll feel the same way every 3 mo's about the pap smear. Obsessing will be the norm, I'm afraid. And I thought having a TAH/BSO would leave me worry-free!

Take good care and feel better!
  #3  
Unread 05-26-2001, 12:04 AM
Feeling Kinda Blue

((((( hugs ))))))) Linda.

CANCER and Oncologist uggh two words that put fear into anyone's heart. I remember when I first heard the word. I freaked, thought I jsut about had one foot in the grave. cancer is a word not a sentence , remember that.
Look back on how far you have come in this past year and look forward to many more cancer free ones. You take good care of yourself. Love to you always
  #4  
Unread 05-26-2001, 02:21 AM
Feeling Kinda Blue

Hi Linda,

Sorry to hear you are down right now, but it is understandable and we can all relate to those feelings.

Although this time of year is a sad reminder to you, its also an anniversary date to mark your accomplishment of surviving this dreaded diease.

I can tell you I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would ever see the words, oncologist, and cancer clinic written in my address book, but they are there now.

I too checked out a few websites and the stats I was finding terrified me, and I completing stopped surfing. Now I have the reputable sites bookmarked and go to those ones only.

Celebrate your anniversary Linda, by treating yourself to something special. You deserve it girl!!

I tell you.....as long as I can afford it within reason, I don't deny myself anything anymore. If I am shopping and see something I want, I buy it! I deserve it, and life is too short.

And...EM congrats on the good mamo results! Great news!!

Love and hugs to you both,
Maria xo
  #5  
Unread 05-26-2001, 06:13 AM
Feeling Kinda Blue

Hi, Linda,

Sorry you're feeling down. I only had precancerous cells, and I still can't shake that. I'll have my first PAP done next month and I'm going crazy just waiting for it! I'm almost wishing my summer away trying to get to that appt. Bad me

What a wonderful accomplishment to be where you are now! Once the anniversary (therefore the reminder) is past, maybe it will be easier to move on into the next year, and then the next and the next and the next. All of them cancer-free! Congratulations!
  #6  
Unread 05-26-2001, 11:03 AM
Feeling Kinda Blue

Hi Linda!

I think its hard NOT to obcess from time to time dealing with cancer. Its something that everyone is afraid of and when you've been fighting it yourself, if you're anything like me, I'm tired of getting poked, prodded and scheduling Dr's appts all the time.

I think we all just want to get back to our normal, healthy lives and forget all about it. Unfortunately, reality comes knocking every couple of months for now, so its never really too far from our minds.

One of my bosses, who battled colon cancer (six years ago) said that even though she now only has to get her tests done once a year, that fear it still there at her visits. She did say, however, that it does get easier during the rest of the year, so I guess for all of us new to this, over time we'll be able to relax a bit. God willing!

I agree, lets all celebrate yours and all of our survivals of this disease! With all the new knowledge and treatments available now, we all will be around for a very looong time! I do hope the blues go away soon and you'll be passing your anniversary and on to the next cancer free year!

Big {{HUGS}} to you, our friend!

Vicki
  #7  
Unread 05-26-2001, 02:45 PM
Feeling Kinda Blue

I am thinking about the same things this time of year. My anniversary is June 2nd. I think once we pass those dates things will get better. I am currently waiting on the results of my first post-op Pap test. My doctor's secretary said if I don't hear anything that it is ok. I plan to call and ask. I don't like to assume anything. Don't they know we are on edge waiting for the results? I also just found out from him that the gyn oncologist he originally referred me to is moving out of state. I only saw the other doctor once, but I would like to make sure my records are available to the next onc, if necessary. That's my current project--trying to figure out whether I should find a new doctor now or just try and get the records or find out if they will be staying with his current office. There is one other doctor with him and they have an office at the hospital.
Take care and write me.
Linda
[email protected]
  #8  
Unread 05-26-2001, 05:26 PM
Feeling Kinda Blue

All of us hystersisters celebrate at one year. It is a milestone that we all look forward to. You will feel more at ease with everything, especially when you can say that LAST YEAR phrase. Please try to look ahead and remember that you have come a long way!! We are all here for you so please don't ever forget that!!
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