dVH/RALH: Surgery 1 week-surprised I'm not sleeping

Hello Sisters!

My surgery is scheduled for May 1-next Tuesday. I have had 2 D&C's since February and have had the surgery scheduled since the end of March and have been handling things just fine emotionally. I have been working on my lists of what needs to be done at home and work before I go out on medical leave. Between that and the post-op visits from the D&C's and the pre-op work for the surgery I guess I've been busy and it has kept my mind occupied. I also work in the medical field so feel like I have a good understanding of what's going on. Well, I guess I was wrong. Last night I started getting anxious and couldn't sleep! I never have trouble sleeping! This morning I have a knot in my stomach and can feel myself grinding my teeth! This is crazy!

I just needed to tell someone. I don't think it's appropriate to talk to my co-workers since I'm their manager and my wonderful husband is a serious worrier so I don't want him to worry about me even more so thanks for being here to listen!

Hello! You are totally normal. I think the fact that we actually choose to have this surgery is why it's so anxiety causing. If it were an emergency or the doctor said "do this now or else", I think it would make the wait less nauseating. I was a basket case - insomnia on top of already evil insomnia, knots in my stomach, crying, anger. I cleaned and did loads of cooking for post op. I researched my surgery and next thing you knew, the morning of surgery. Weird thing is, I was calm and peaceful that morning. Sure, I was anxious but I was just absolutely ready to be done with this*blerg*. You will see, as I did, that the worrying and anxiety are the worst part of this surgery. I'm sorry that I can't make this stop for you, but I hope knowing that we all feel/felt the same makes it easier to deal with. Keep busy getting your meals ready and your recovery space neatened. The surgery day will be a whirlwind and then you'll be on the other side; can't wait to see you!! Good luck

You are not alone!! I finally just got confirmation that my LAVH is scheduled for May 8th. I have always had insomnia issues and recently dealing with adenocarcinoma in situ and not knowing for sure if there is invasive cancer till after surgery pathology has definitely made it worse. Add to that a personal issue that my son has been dealing with (and therefore me too), and sometimes I feel that I'm barely holding on. I am still dealing with some fatigue and swelly belly that has been around since October 2011, and from my back to back cone biopsy surgeries, and sciatic nerve pain that acts up at night. I am anxious about surgery as well as having to take narcotic meds. I am currently looking into other options to discuss at pre-op on May 4th. Days are manageable, usually I can keep busy enough, but the silence of the night opens up my brain to increased activity and I wish there was some way to get it to be quiet so I could get some sleep. The harder it is to sleep the more anxiety builds up. I do have 2 tablets of Ativan from the three given to me for the day before my last cone biopsy, but I do not want to use them at this time. I am saving one for the day before surgery again, and another in case I really need it later. Let me know if you find any answers in the meantime I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Maybe sharing our anxiety will help us find some relief. I wish you the best of luck with your surgery!

It's perfectly okay to ask your doctor for a prescription to take the edge off. Pre op anxiety can be very hard to deal with. Talking out the anxiety is super helpful, but we need to sleep and relax at some point. I think most doctors are receptive to short term treatment for this kind of anxiety. Worries about controlling your pain post op should be talked out with your doctor. If you are recovering from addiction or are living with an abuser of narcotics, this can seem like a huge mountain to deal with. Make sure that your doctor knows what concerns you. There are many pain management options out there. Please don't suffer (mentally or physically) needlessly. Talk about it. Feel free to private message me if you have any questions.

Sharona 19, I have always had issues with medication. Other than blood pressure medication, I hate taking medications and having to deal with all the side effects which are often worse than what is being treated. I think because of this medicines have quite a strong effect on me. I was told I would need a narcotic pain meds for my cone biopsies as well and opted for Tylenol with Codine. With the first cone I only took 1 doze at the hospital and one home. With the second cone biopsy I only took the doze at the hospital. In addition I have also seen first hand the devastating effects that addiction brings not just to the addict but to families and friends. I have never taken any narcotics in my life and the thought of having to do so really bothers me. I was told the Tylenol with Codine was the lowest type of narcotic, but that I would probably need something stronger. I know that the pain from the LAVH will be much worse. But I will definitely discuss other options. Regarding anxiety meds, I am keeping it as an option.

It is perfectly normal to have insomnia and anxiety before surgery. If you feel comfortable taking something prescribed from Dr to help take the edge off it may help, sleep is very important. If you don't that is fine too. You may be able to try over the counter sleep aids such as Benedryl or melatonin. Melatonin has less groggy effects the next day for most people. Not sure what the exact answer will be for you, but I alternated between all three, that way my body didn't get used to nor dependent on any one thing.

I hope you are able to find what works best for you. Big.
from your sister

Thank you all so much for the support and advice-and just for listening! I was much better by yesterday afternoon and slept really well last night-maybe because I was so tired from the night before. Anyway, I tried to narrow down the source of my anxiety and found something interesting about myself. I am not anxious about the surgery or recovery or being away from work.

I work for a great doctor (cardiologist) who sat down in my office for awhile yesterday to ask how I was doing this week. When I explained my unexpected feelings he pointed out that they probably come from the fact that I'm not in control when it comes to the surgery itself and there is so much "unknown" for me and that worries or frustrates me! He is so right-I found myself calling my surgeon yesterday just to make sure they have received all of my pre-op info and that the hospital has everything squared away. Of course they do, they are wonderful, but I just had to make sure. I never realized what a control freak I am! Thanks again everyone! I think I'll make it!

I'm glad you've found your anxiety source. It was a control thing for me as well, that and I've worked in medicine for years. I am the child of an addict and am hypersensitive to anything that could alter me. I've learned to let myself be okay with the fact that I might have to take narcs for pain help. I needed narcs for 5 days and then was just fine with 800mg ibuprofen. It is detrimental to healing to be pain; you know this and will do well. I send you good thoughts for a smooth and speedy recovery and advice to take a deep breath every once in a while. I rerouted my control issues into controlling my anxiety. It actually worked

Love2spin, you couldn't have said it better. That is definitely the issue. Especially if surgery is a first time experience, knowing that you have no control whatsoever is very scary. Our Dr. and the surgical team literally have our life in their hands. I have to keep reminding myself that our Doctors have had excellent training and experience and they will do the best job possible, with God's help. I'm so glad you slept well last night. By coincidence I did too.

Sharona19, I really appreciate your comments. I too have had to deal with my ex-husband, a sister and my son's addiction. All are currently sober, but the scars remain. I really like your perspective on rerouting your control issues to controlling anxiety. I can't change the situation, but I can change how I feel about it. I have to think that I am being given a gift. My condition was caught early and it is being treated.

Thank you,