my surgery is tomorrow... I am a wreck

My hysterectomy and oophorectomy is tomorrow morning. I am a wreck. I feel jittery and scared. Really scared. It is so silly because I am a 3 year survivor of breast cancer ... I had a mastectomy then and I wasn't scared!

Everyone is telling me "its no big deal". I have talked to many women I know who have had this done. And they are fine. It helps to talk to them at the time, but within a few hours I am nervous again.

I am afraid something will go wrong. I am afraid I will get really constipated and be in agony. (I don't have any idea why I think this!). I am afraid I will not handle menopause well.

To top it off, my hubby got laid off 3 weeks ago and he is a basketcase about that. I need to work now more than ever and to have surgery and be laid up for 6 weeks is not good. This adds to my nerves! To have to spend time with my stressed-out hubby for 6 weeks will be no picnic either.... AAAHHHH>>>>

Wallan

Wallan

I'm sorry that you are going through so much at the moment. But you can do this!

One of the best things you can do for the bowels is to start gently walking as soon as you can. I was very constipated and the only thing that really helped me was old fashion prunes!! I would also tell your doctor how anxious you are at the moment. They may have some suggestions.

I was half way convinced that I wouldn't survive the operation and 3/4 convinced that the cancer would have already spread. Fortunately, neither was true! I have had a complication free recovery. I have a desk job and was able to return part time at 3 weeks and was back full time at 4 weeks. No it is optimally, but sometimes we need to do what we need to do in order to survive.

Take care. I'm sending you lots of hugs!!!!

Lyn

You may or may not appreciate a perspective from Little Miss Sunshine but my first thought is - - hubby's layoff came at a perfect time! He can be there for your surgery and recovery, and didn't have to arrange for time off! For the hours you are in the hospital he can be working on his résumé, networking, and making progress towards finding employment. At home he can take care of you (if he will, and knows how to anticipate and meet your post-surgery needs), and while you're getting the rest you need, he can be setting up job interviews.

Take advantage of this opportunity you both have (free time) to talk about your worries and what you need from each other, and plan strategies for getting through it all. Remember, he may need some sort of support from you as well - even if it's just in the form of being sensitive to his fears and worries. Don't silently hope that he will make dinner, or expect it. TELL him ahead of time what you would like from him. As for constipation, I had purchased a few jars of stewed prunes ahead of time. I wish you an uncomplicated surgery, a smooth recovery, and a wonderful new job for hubby. It is a year of new beginnings for you. All the best.

Well put the positive spin on things.. tell hubby that this will be good "together" time (maybe not intimate but still).. something you probably haven't enjoyed in quite sometime.

So it could be a GOOD thing. He's home with you when you really need the help and this will help you recouperate FASTER! Get your rest so you will be more ready to go back to work.

Wallan, I agree absolutely with the other sisters. You and your DH will come through this, we all will. But I think we just have to accept that we are going to be scared, no matter what everyone says, and it makes me feel mad when people say 'but it's no big deal'. Hello? Yes it is. But we can do this!
Wish you lots of luck.
Hugs
Louise

Wallan,
I am a 3 month survivor of breast cancer and I did the lumpectomy with SNB. To be honest the sentinal node biopsy was more painful than the lavh/bso that I had in December. I felt great about 3 days after surgery. I am 6 weeks out now and back to normal activities.
My husband stayed in the hospital with me for 2 nights. It was really nice having him there.
I just look at it as another way to keep the cancer from coming back so it was totally doable for me. Hang in there and see ya on the other side!!!
Jackie

Im so sorry you are going through so much! I hope and pray things get better for you!try and take care of yourself, and Im sending up prayers and best wishes for your surgery and fast recovery!

I know how you feel the day before my hysterectomy I was sooooo nervous too. I was afraid of the pain I'd feel in the recovery room. I don't even remember being woken up. I remember the nurse(not enough to remember her face) she gave me pain meds. My hubby came in only remember his voice here and there. Then I slept the whole day!! The next morning I was able to get up and walk slowly first to sit in a chair. Then down the hall. It really helps with the gas. You are going to be fine. Trust me if I got through this you can do it. Just remember to take it easy and you and your hubby are gonna be fine. Once you two get through this you will have a new life. (like a fresh start) with you're constant pain just a memory. Please get some rest tonight and pamper the princess!!
Lisa.

metamucil 3x a day will keep the stool soft. It doesnt taste bad and
will make your bowel movements so much easier....believe me i
found this out the hard way!

Hi Wallen,

First off...women who say it is no big deal are talking from their own perspective. Everyone is different and having the surgery for very different reasons. Just nod and tell them you are happy their experience was good.

I am a two time breast cancer survivor. I empathize. Shortly after my first diagnosis and surgery- about a year after treatment, I'd guess, I had a severe drug reaction that landed me in the ER. I am not sure if it was that I now REALLY understood the fragility of life and the body, or what- but I freaked out just being there. I think it was being back in hospital again too....there IS something about going through the cancer thing (or any serious illness) that brings everything into perspective or sharp focus. And, when I ended up back there- I was just terrified for a while. Then- the spirit that brought me through the cancer in the first place kicked in. I had survived that- a little drug reaction was nothing! Remember what you have come through...by comparision, a hysterectomy is small potatoes- not nothing, but certainly something you can manage. You'll be fine....and we're all rooting for you!



Jean