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Unrelated to hysterectomy, is this normal?? Unrelated to hysterectomy, is this normal??

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Unread 08-10-2021, 11:44 PM
Unrelated to hysterectomy, is this normal??

So I just need to see if I am as insane as my BF/now ex continually tells me I am.

Yes, I mentioned ex. He just broke it off with me. Me. Lol. Because I’m childish and immature. We both had FB and he didn’t think that we needed to because it causes so many problems. He says we need to delete the accounts. Without hesitation, because I wanted him to know how much I was willing to make the relationship work, deleted my account. When I asked him if he did, he says yes…I deactivated it. I was like - you mean delete. No - he said I’m not going to lose the pictures on there of my family. You can’t make me delete it. Head smack moment. I did not save a single picture because I wanted to please him.

I have 3 kids. He has zero. My priority is my children. He says his priority is his mom and brother. I was not in that equation. We have been together 11 years. He says he will give his last 5$ to them and go without. I cannot give my last cent to other people (even family members) because what if my children needed something? This is something he never understood.

He would be upset that I didn’t demand my kids do as he thought they should. He liked to drink and would play loud music on the weekends, or weekday for that matter, if he didn’t have work. One kid is still in school and he would blast music and if I said hey can you turn that down he would be offended and say they keep me up all night playing their video games. The youngest is the quietest. My middle son is heavy footed. But they didn’t keep him awake intentionally but his music would, and he absolutely had intent. He would get loud and rowdy.

So he didn’t get me anything for Christmas or my birthday, which is fine but he made a point to buy his brother something for his gun that costed more than $150 for Christmas. He said that his brother bought him a gift so he had to do the same. Umm…I bought him a gift for Christmas. No worries though. The Christmas before he spent more money on his mom and brother than I was allowed to spend on my 3 kids, parents, and sisters combined. The point I’m trying to make is that he will intentionally go out of his way to provide for and buy anything that his mom and brother want/need without any expectations. His mom and brother do the same for him. But when it comes to me and our relationship he doesn’t seem to want to contribute to any of it.

He won’t even try to compromise with me. His compromise is an ultimatum. Either I do this or he will move out. Well he moved out and upon doing so his mom and brother were in a spot with their home. The place was going up for auction. So he decided that he would go purchase a home for the three of them to live in. His mom - doesn't work. His brother - doesn’t work. But he said living with me took away from him and what he wanted to do. That helping me with half the bills was too much for him. Then he goes and buys a house for the three of them. The house cost twice what mine did. Even at this point, though, we are still together. We don’t have or spend loads of time together because he moved out and bought a place about an hour away.

So I had a feeling that he was doing something behind my back. He was the one that wanted to get rid of Facebook, but something told me to look. I used my son’s account to see and I found an active account for him (the ex). The account said single. I asked him about it and he says I’m being a jealous child and that he uses the account to talk to family. Which is a lie. The only family he talks to is the one he chose to live with. After the confrontation, he broke up with me.

I know family is important, but I feel like they have a closeness that’s a little too close. I feel like a fool. An idiot. Now I’ve gone though this surgery and feel even more alone. Depressed. And this situation has not helped any at all.

Feeling defeated.
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Unread 08-12-2021, 11:16 AM
Re: Unrelated to hysterectomy, is this normal??

You are correct, it is not hysterectomy related.

My only advice is: move on.

Relationship sounds toxic
Unread 08-14-2021, 05:36 PM
Unrelated to hysterectomy, is this normal??

His behavior is not acceptable for someone who you thought would be a devoted partner. Cheating is not acceptable, period.

It may hurt right now because you gave so much time to the relationship, but hon, he is self-centered, narcissistic, and not worth the effort.

Your story reads like that of a friend of mine, except that she was married and they had had kids together. Even after their divorce, he created trouble for her for two years until she got a better lawyer and fought back. Ever since she flexed her muscle, he’s been rather quiet.

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Unread 08-14-2021, 08:16 PM
Re: Unrelated to hysterectomy, is this normal??

I agree with GPMS. Set boundaries, make a plan for yourself. Focus on your health and well being. Doesn't sound like a 'teammate', sounds toxic like an opposition you don't need.

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