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Desperate,don't know what to do with myself? Desperate,don't know what to do with myself?

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Unread 08-24-2005, 02:57 PM
Good for you!

Dear Ann,

Hooray for you! I'm so glad you registered for that course in January! That's a big step forward! I usually find that if I can manage to take one step at a time towards a goal it is better for my state of mind and confidence. With each step, your outlook will brighten and you'll feel a little better each time. I'm sorry you're having a bad day, but getting sick will do that to you! I hope you don't let it convince you that you're slipping back - it is just a temporary pause.

As my therapist is fond of saying, 'crawl first, don't try to run right away'. Take little steps and savor the victories. If you try to run ahead, (like I do many times) you may find yourself discouraged.

I hope the 'laughter' therapy works! If nothing else, you'll find that you had a good time for a little while.

I tend to joke about what's hurting me too, and I found that my doctor thought I was doing much better than I was for a while. I confessed to him that I was doing that, and he assured me that medical people need to hear how you really feel. Don't worry about being 'a misery' to them. My friends, on the other hand, got sick of me always complaining, so I don't tell them much when I feel bad. I save it for my therapist or one close friend who is always willing to listen. She gives good advice, too.

Remember to take good care of yourself, especially if you're sick. I'm praying for your recovery and for you to enjoy the course you're taking in January! **What did you register for, if you don't mind me asking?**

Take care!
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Unread 08-24-2005, 06:05 PM
Desperate,don't know what to do with myself?

Dear Ann,
Me too!!! Glad you registered for that class!! I have been toying with the idea myself...I really don't know which one to register for, that is if I don' t get that job I was hoping to get!! I don't want to overextend myself as far as options, because, I want to make sure I do not go for something "out of my mental capacity" I have a community college close to my house, which I have been trying to get up enough nerve to go to register there... I think you are very brave to do this and really am proud of you!!!! Keep up the good work!! Reeni By the way, I sure hope I can afford it!
Unread 08-25-2005, 01:49 AM
Desperate,don't know what to do with myself?

hi Everyone,
Thanks for the encouragement!!! I registered for a Open University course called 'Exploring Psychology' which i have always thought of doing.Prehaps should have chosen something 'lighter' but needed to choose something that maybe would help me gain a job in the future, I've been 'long-term' sick and my job was held open for me,but two days after the hyst. the company I worked for went into liquidation and I was told that I would now longer have a job.
This morning it all seems a bit daunting but I keep saying to myself that I've got until the end of January. In fact ,if I cancel before the end of Jan. I can get a full refund so I think I should just sit on it for a while and see how things map out.
Thanks for being there Take Care,

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Unread 09-07-2005, 05:34 PM
Desperate,don't know what to do with myself?

Dear Everyone,

I haven't posted for a week or more because I am ashamed to say that things are not,really,improving. I feel like I am letting everybody down and that with all the support you've gven me that I should have something more positive to report I feel so angry with myself!!!
Went to bed early to-night and have got up to 'talk' to you all. When does all this stop? I can't stop thinking about the fact that I will never have children. I try so hard to be positive but it just 'creeps up' and gets me!!
The nightmares have been dreadful this week, so bad that, I'm frightened to go to sleep!!!
It dosen't help that I still have some 'physical' issues from the hyst. and my hormone treatment is not sorted out yet. I go back to see the consultant on the 16th September,and I am frightened that he will discharge me and I will have to live with these problems as well as the sadness and grief. I don't know how I'm going to cope!!
Sorry to be such a 'whinge-bag', Thanks for being there!! I hope that you are all feeling well and happy!

With love and hugs ,

Unread 09-07-2005, 05:53 PM
Desperate,don't know what to do with myself?

Oh Aunty Ann,
Just wanted to post back to you to say I'm sorry some of those feelings are creeping back in once again. Don't know if this helps, but I think it is a normal reaction to all the physical and emotional things you've been dealing with. Next, don't ever be worried about letting everyone know how you are "really" doing!! You don't have to be sorry for anything. I think you are a very brave person for being able to share so much of yourself with others. I would add that when you go back to your doctor's appt., you may want to share with the doctor all of your issues you've been facing both physical and emotional. I wish words could stop the pain, but I promise, from my own experience, the pain dulls after awhile, it will get better. You'll find other ways to give that maternal care you have inside.......I'm sending you great big cyber hugs of understanding and support!!!!!!!!! Keep us posted!!!!!!!
Unread 09-07-2005, 06:05 PM
Desperate,don't know what to do with myself?

Hi,Thanks for being there,
It helps to know that people care. One of the reasons that I've not posted ,is that when I went to my last consultant's appointment, I thought that it would be a good idea to tell him about this web site because it may help other women who were going through the same thing. He was interested and wrote down the web address and said that he would look it up later. Now he may never look at the site and the chances of him seeing my posts are negligable but it just made me feel inhibited for a while. Strange that trying to help somebody else should inhibit me from taking the comfort and kindness that you've all given too me.
With love and hugs,

Unread 09-07-2005, 07:12 PM
Desperate,don't know what to do with myself?


Be gentle with yourself There is no right way or wrong way to deal with how we feel and what we go through. There are alot of us who have shared the Hystersister website with our doctors. It's a good thing to share.
Sending 's
Unread 09-07-2005, 08:13 PM
Hi, Ann,

Hi Ann,
This is Reeni again. I wanted to tell you about something that I (somehow) remembered. I really don't know where I remember it from, although , it could be from that short course I took in psychology , oh so many years ago.Got that brain fog again, I guess.
Anyway, what I wanted to tell you is that just because we are women and just because we were "built" for having babies, and "designed " to be mothers, that doesn't mean that it is a Mortal Sin , if we do not "fulfill" our moral "obligation", and that we won't all "go to H--L" , if we don't follow through on this in our lives. For some reason, I think that we have it in our minds, that we are failing God by not living up to our expectations. Or, somehow failing our family, be they our mother , father, or husband. I know that it made sense, but I also know it is difficult to accept that philosophy. I have my down days too, and a whole bunch of our sisters will tell you the same thing.
By the way, it may be a very good thing for your therapist to see some of your posts, because I know it is possible that it could help him understand what you are going through. I am being "paged" by my "signigficant other" to and I quote, "get off that computer, I have to go to bed!!!" So I will have to leave you now, but I leave you with All the best, from Reeni
Unread 09-07-2005, 09:02 PM
Desperate,don't know what to do with myself?

Dear Ann,
Tonight is the first time that I have read this thread and as I went through the posts I wished you were right here so I could give you a big HUG. You have gone through so much and if you look back to your first posts to your last posts you will see how much stronger you have become. I found my self cheering for you with each victory, and sympathizing with each setback. I was always so glad when I saw a sister respond the way I would have. From where I sit you are one very couragous COMPLETE WOMAN. Your posts on this site could almost be some sort of a thesis. I have all the faith in the world in you. Please continue on your journey, it is an inspiration.
Unread 09-08-2005, 01:09 PM
Desperate,don't know what to do with myself?

Dear Everyone,

Thanks so much for the support. It helps to know that I am not alone. The problem with this is that it is so isolating. Friends don't ,or can't ,understand .Particularly friends for whom pregnancy has been an 'occupational hazard' of having a relationship and needed to be avoided at all costs!! Relatives are ,also, difficult my Mom told me the other day that she had not told an aquaintance what I'd had done because she was 'sure that I would not like everyone to know'. Of course I don't wish to walk around with a label around my neck saying I am wombless but it made me feel as if I SHOULD be ashamed about myself.I,really, love my Mom and have tried to be there for her always. She helps me on a practical level but emotionally she is so far off beam that I spend half of my life with my tongue gripped firmly between my teeth. Thank God that I found this site and can vent.

Take Care,


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