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questions about intimacy questions about intimacy

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  #1  
Unread 04-29-2003, 10:38 PM
questions about intimacy

Hi,
I'm scheduled for a SAH with a vertical incision in mid-June and very nervous about it as I've never had surgery before. I have large fibroids which have been causing painful periods, pressure on bladder etc. (My uterus is at the size of 24 weeks). I'm worried that my sex life will somehow suffer after the surgery. I am leaving my ovaries since they are healthy and at 43 I do not want to be menapausal. My questions: Will my libido change? My husband and I are worried that I won't want sex like I do now. Will it be as enjoyable....will the orgasims be different?
Also I've read that there is a 6-8 week recovery. How long will it generally be before I can take care of myself, get out of the house etc? How long before I am "myself"? Is there anything I can do to prepare myself for the surgery to make recovery easier?
Thanks for the help to all the sisters on this board.
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  #2  
Unread 04-30-2003, 06:29 AM
questions about intimacy

Grace,

This is a question I have heard many times and it is a question I too asked during my lady in waiting days.

I can only tell you how things are with me and I DID have my ovaries removed! I think the sex is just as good if not better. I had a lot of pain during and after sex and that is now gone! I did have a bit of libido trouble for awhile but again I had my ovaries removed and had to do some medication tweaking, but since I want to just as much if not more because that pain is gone! Don't worry too much about this. You'll be fine

Best wishes,

Sharon
  #3  
Unread 04-30-2003, 10:56 AM
questions about intimacy

Hi Grace, many ladies have that same worry before their hysts. I did a bit myself. I can honestly tell you that it's really better for me. There's no pain now where there once was. It makes it better for my dh since he doesn't have to worry about causing me pain now. I had a tah/bso and the hrt is helping me a lot.
As for preparing for surgery to help recovery. My advice would be to keep yourself as healthy as possible and follow your dr's orders. You can ask questions and read posts here too. That helped me a lot.
s
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  #4  
Unread 04-30-2003, 04:54 PM
questions about intimacy

Without 2 weeks of bleeding every month and one week of itchy infections happening anymore, my libido has soared. Some days I even surpass my husband, which prior to my surgery was hard to keep him happy because he wants it everyday like a typical man. Now, I want it everyday, think about sex a work, and don't need a 20 minute back rub to get talked into it. The weirdest thing I've had to get used to is the sensations I get from just sitting on something. I never knew how good a vibrating lownmower felt until this week. The neighbors are going to be wondering why I'm smiling as I mow the lawn for 5 hours each week!!! I don't know if it was all the pad wearing and feeling crummy with bleeding all the time or what, but I never noticed how sensitive it it down there on a daily basis like I do now. What an eye opener. A good one a that. I'm not complaining and will gladly keep this new way of life. I was able to keep my ovaries by the way, cervix is gone and intimacy is fantastic. ( I just got some at 5 pm with kids in the house even) I can't brag enough about this. Hope it helps ease your fears, as that is why I post in the first place. I remember the uncertainty and feel for all our
  #5  
Unread 04-30-2003, 05:16 PM
Hi neighbor

I have noticed no change in my libido or in the quality of sex. I think the quantity has increased I was not completely relaxed the first few times after my surgery, but it now feels normal once again.

It is really hard to predict how you will recover. A lot of the other princesses were off from work for 6-8 weeks. I didn't need to be. I had no complications and I was quite healthy and fit before surgery. My DR wrote up my disability for a 4 week absence at my pre-op visit. I felt well enough to go in to my sedentary office job for half days after 2 weeks, and I could drive short distances. (I napped every day when I got home.) At that point, I was able to walk comfortably for an hour. After 3 weeks, I returned to work fulltime. My DR released me for "all normal activities" at 4 weeks. I finally touched the vacuum last week. My DH would rather have me be a ski buddy and sex partner, so he took care of most housecleaning!!

I was very fortunate, probably unusually so. You need to be prepared to pamper yourself for a number of weeks. There is tremendous fatigue after these surgeries. Hopefully your DR will give you guidelines as to how to tell what is enough rest and activity, rather than no-this or no-that for whatever # of weeks. Take excellent care of your health prior to surgery so you go into this as strong as possible.

BTW, I'm 42. Hope this helps. Please feel free to send a private message if you have questions!!!
  #6  
Unread 05-01-2003, 08:05 AM
questions about intimacy

You can find a lot of answers to your questions by going to the hints and articles section on the left hand side of the home page. REad both preop and post op ones. Remember you can ask questions here any time.
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