What to Tell Work

Veedeegee

Please, please don't cancel! It's more important to get your surgery done - honest - even though you won't immediately feel like that after the surgery !

Go to your appointment on 3/31 and then tell them at work you are scheduled for surgery on 4/what ever date. Like someone else said if you're uncomfortable with telling them it's a hysterectomy, then tell them it's "women/female surgery"

Or is it also maybe a little that you're very scared of the surgery?? If that is the case, talk to your Doctor, Surgeon, Nurse or anyone on these pages. We're here to help each other!

But, again, don't cancel, your health is much more important!!

Loekie
Lincoln, UK

I would not feel the guilt. The company I work for went bankrupt and then was sold. We stayed through a payday with no paycheck and no promise of ever getting paid. Our loyalty has meant nothing to the new company. They have been slashing jobs and expecting more without any consideration of burnout. You don't know how you are going to be treated by your new company. Your health is what comes first.

Sorry to sound so cynical but I plan to wait till 2 weeks before the op to tell them and I plan to use every vacation day before I do.

This isn't the work world our fathers had. No gold watches for anyone anymore.

Again, sorry for the downer. Just think you should focus on what's really important and that's you.

Loekie,
I am definitely very afraid of this surgery, but it seems like everyone is afraid. This is going to sound so lame, but I've lost 55 pounds in the past year, and I'm afraid of the "swelly belly" and regaining weight that I've worked so hard to lose. I don't want to wear the old clothes in my attic that are too big now. I'm afraid of post-op depression and eating again for comfort. I'm afraid of the pain management (not the pain itself) because I always seem to have problems with the meds. I don't know if it's better to keep my ovaries or not, to keep my cervix or not, etc. It seems like there's so much to this surgery! I had a total knee replacement 17 months ago. I've been told by several other knee patients that a hysterectomy is a "walk in the park" compared to that. Yet, the thought of cutting through my abdomen is much scarier to me than replacing my knee joint with metal and plastic!
My doc said I need to think of this in terms of quality of life. He said I'll be so much happier when I'm not bleeding 20 days out of the month, when sex doesn't hurt and when I don't have the back and thigh pain. I know he's absolutely right, and I know I need to do this, but I am definitely scared! Add to that the stress at work, and the fear of losing my job, and I'm a basket case! Thank goodness I can come here to read the good reports and learn all that I am learning. By 4/12, maybe I'll be comfortable with this decision. Virginia

I would agree with the other sisters who have said do not feel guilty!! This is not something you just planned to do, like a vacation. As women we need to stop apologizing for having an illness!! I am lucky in that my boss and my HR rep are both women, and my boss has had a hyster in the past, and the people I work with have known for I have had problems for years. You have to have an obligation to yourself above all else. Best of luck!!!

I am one of 2 women in our branch-I do accounts and she is the secretary/PA. The bosses are all men but since I am known for having a wicked sense of humour, I just told them I was having my indoor plumbing removed! (and I also told them it was a hysterectomy-they have probably all had some woman in their family go through this before). I also told them that I would keep up the accounts from home (a radical idea to some traditionalists) and I would be somewhat physically handicapped for a short while. I am actually trying to pave the way for more working from home in the future as we will be relocating to a place over a toll bridge $$$ and further from home so I am not happy about it.

If they are worried about you taking so much time off, you might also point out that that is nothing compared to someone taking maternity leave and they will never have to worry about that with you!

VeeDeeGee

So sorry to hear you're so scared! But, we all are/were!

I was scared to death to be put under; it meant, to mee, having no control........ - and I don't like not being under control/having no control!
But, it wasn't to bad at all; one moment I was talking to nurse and doctors, the next I was waking up, after surgery.

Whether to take it all out, or not, that's something I cannot advise you on, obviously, that's between you and your Dr., so talk to him as much as possible; discuss all the pros and cons.

Your recovery afterwards may not be as bad as you think. Discuss the problems you've had with meds thoroughly with all concerned so that all know the possible problems.
I've never had a knee operation, so would not be able to tell what's worse.....
I had a vaginal surgery; I believe this is less invasive(?) then the surgery through stomach and they left my ovaries.
I did end up with a catheter through my stomach to the bladder and can feel that a little, now that it's healing, but I'm sure it's no where near as bad as a full surgery through the stomach!

Again, don't put your surgery off; your health is so much more important then any job. Like someone else said - the new company may think nothing of your loyalty - she is right - however hard this may sound! These days no job is permanent!
Once you have recovered from surgery, which may take anywhere from 4 weeks to however many weeks/months - you'll feel 100% better and will be glad you've gone through with it all.

Discuss your fears, with Drs., nurses, anybody, us here, but don't put your surgery off any longer.
Everybody is here/there to help you! Can you find out if there is anybody locally that has gone through this, that you can talk to? Talking to someone face to face sometimes helps as well. You can see how well they're doing - which is bound to help you!

Feel free to email me direct, if you prefer - either way I don't mind giving you a shoulder to "cry" on - as I'm sure any of the other ladies here won't mind!

Yes, you'll have a slightly swolen stomach, but if you've lost so much weight, which is great by the way, it won't be to bad........ - it will go down! My stomach is a bit more swolen, but I'm convinced it will go down and once I'm allowed to excercise more, it will go down more as well!
I'm sure you will not comfort eat; I believe in you!

Take care, things will get better - honestly!

Loekie
Lincoln, UK