Worried about .... well everything.

I'm scheduled for a LAVH and a TVTO on the 23rd. My husband is disabled due to a whiplash injury and on serious pain meds. We have a 13 DS. For the past 6 years I've taken care of everything, house, yard, cars, everything. I'm trying to do things that I know I won't be able to do for many weeks. Like mow the yard. We have a really big yard and a very big riding mower which I don't feel safe letting my 13yo drive. I'm going to have the laundry done and tonight I'm showing the kid how to do his own. So maybe that is a good thing. But I am picky about my laundry and laundry in general. But I'm prepared to give that up.

I have some food stashed in the freezer, cans in the pantry. I'm making a list and cards with detailed instructions for very simple dishes, ex--dump chicken in crock pot cover with Ragu turn on.. I'm glad it is at the end of school, so almost no homework or projects to be done.

But I'm really worried about if my husband will be able to actually do anything. He spends so much time being "out of it" from either the pain or the meds that some evenings I don't even see him except to hand him dinner. When the batteries in our smoke detector started beeping/blaring it didn't even wake him up.


I figure no 13 year old boy will starve, he will find food. He does shower on his own now that he has noticed that some people don't shower enough. And he will do a lot to help.

Other writers have said they don't have anyone to stay at the hospital with them, I feel like I have no one to stay with me at home. I have no family left that could help. His family lives 3,000 miles away (which often is a good thing!). I'm not close to anyone at work. And I wouldn't want most to visit anyway.

But I just wonder, truthfully, besides being tender, sore and sleepy will I be unable to care for myself? I will have a catheter for maybe 10 days according to the nurse during a phone call. I am concerned about neither of us being able to drive. He can drive to the local store and depending on the day a little farther. But it's not safe for him to drive very far for several reasons.

We do have a couple of take-out options, thank goodness. But we can't afford to have delivery for 2 weeks.

Some one tell me some good news. Or are all the post-op tails telling it like it really is?

Sorry this was so long, I guess I'm having a little bit of a pity party here.

If it's any consolation, I had my LAVH, came home the next day (on a Tuesday) and by Friday or Saturday I was doing fairly well. For some reason I had a really nasty headache, which was my only complaint. I was told not to drive for three weeks, but I know typically it's 2. Perhaps the hosp. would be able to refer someone, or a local church, for a volunteer to help out. I would ask the folks at the hospital...tell them your situation, and can they refer you to someone who might be able to help, by picking up groceries or whatever...or taking you to a doctor or somewhere you need to go. There might be something out there meant specifically for situations like yours! Good luck

Angie

Hi! Best wishes to you, and you'll be in my prayers. When I read your post, my first thought was a local church - even if you don't attend a local church, I'm sure if you called one, they would be more than happy to assist. My church has a team of women that help out with all kinds of situations in our home town (food, organizing outside chores, house repairs, etc)- I hope that you get some help! Again, I'll be praying for you - God Bless!

Hi I had a tvh with a tvt and total reconstruction. I was very fortunate that my Mother took my 2 Youngest children for me because I could not take care of them. If I did not have support I would have called the local catholic charities chapter and they could have someone come to help. church groups are a great reference and Your son will have to help more easier said than done. I know what getting boys to work is like, I have 5 boys. The recovery time for me was about 2 weeks before I started to feel human and I am still having minor issues, but all in alll I feel so much better than when I started. I was lucky I didn;t have to keep the catheter in after I left the hospital. That speeded things up ,although it was slow going in the bladder area .My doctor told me at around the 3-4 month mark somehow the bladder goes into the right anatomical position and You start to feel like a new person. I wish You the best of luck and I hope You get some help because You will need it.
I will add You to my prayer list
donna
If You do not call a church, ask Your doctor, they might be acle to refer You to an organization that can help.

Hi Knittersu

Was wondering if you had any neighbors that might possibly be able to help you out some (mowing the lawn, driving you if needed,etc,etc).
All the ladies have a real good idea there. The churches around here are wonderful in assisting people in need of it. I hope you will make that phone call.

Best of luck to you on your surgery Tuesday. and

Why not explain your situation to your Dr? Your resources are limited with no family to help and I'm sure your Dr won't want you doing these things so maybe the Dr can order for a home health aide to come for an hour or two daily. They may not cut your grass for you but they will help with laundry, simple meal prep, light cleaning and vacuuming. I just had prolapse repair and had to have the catheter in while at home for an extra week. Believe me, you will not feel like doing anything for awhile. Good luck.
Michelle

I'm sorry you're feeling so alone right now.

I hope it helps you to know that I had a TVH and was 100% in a couple of days. Just rest as much as you can and you'll be fine.

Love and blessings,
Angie K

Things have a way of working out.

good luck to you
diana