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I just need to talk to people who understand I just need to talk to people who understand

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Unread 03-02-2005, 07:05 AM
I just need to talk to people who understand

Hi ladies, I think I just need to talk because I feel alone and like no one around me understands. Don't get me wrong, I have great support around me and my family comforts me, but hate talking about my pain to them b/c I want to be possitive and don't want to bring anyone down. When I went to the dr Friday he gave me provera to supress the endo and ponstel for pain. It's been 5 days now and still no relief! The ponstel doesn't do crap for me and I've been taking it since Fri as directed and nothing. I'm hurting soooo bad right now I don't know how much longer I can take this. Monday I felt alright, just the dull nagging pain and pulling when I move, but yesterday it started up full force I hurt all last night and woke up this morning feeling the same. This is so frustrating last night my 3 year old son came running in the living room where I was curled up w/ heating pad and said "mommy mommy, let's go dance!!" so I went in his room and stood in one spot only moving my arms, and when I move my arms I feel pulling in my abdomen so that didn't last long. Usually when I'm feeling good we'll jump around and just act silly and when I'm hurting I can't do all that stuff.
Now I'm sitting at work can't concentrate on ANYTHING my mom called a second ago and I couldn't even talk to her b/c she asked if I was hurting and I just started crying and had to get off the phone b/c Im hurting too bad to talk. I just want to curl up and sleep forever. I don't know if I can make it the rest of the day and it's only 9am now. I'm not one to miss work so I feel bad just wanting to go home. This is so embarassing when I hurt I cant hardy walk and when I try to I walk funny b/c it pulls when I move my legs. I want to go home so bad. I used to miss work all of the time (and lost 2 jobs over it) when I was dealing w/ endo. I'm just really depressed and it ***** when I'm hurting so bad and don't have anything to take for the pain (other than tylenol b/c the ponstel didn't help). I hate to call the drs office b/c I don't I want them to think I just want pain pills, and honestly I'm hurting so bad I don't think anything would help right now. I know that's a negative way to be but I'm not feeling positive right now. I hate this. This is a horrible life to lead hurting all the time.
I'm terribly sorry this has been so long I just needed to get that out. Thank you all for listening.

s to all of you
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Unread 03-02-2005, 07:47 AM
I just need to talk to people who understand


I'm so sorry for your pain. Have you tried working with your doctor to see if you can get to a pain management specialist? Also, does your doctor believe you're still dealing with recurrent endo? I know how it is to be in pain and have to work. I live in Knoxville so I'm not very far from you. I'm aware that some folks who deal with endo work through oncology gynecologists - - is this a route you've tried? I believe there is one at UT Hospital who has experience with this. Hugs and I hope you feel better today.
Unread 03-02-2005, 08:14 AM
I just need to talk to people who understand

chronic pain is tiring . I had it from my teens up to the time I had my hyst .

if it gets bad there is always the ER.. but perhaps a pain management Dr might help more in th elong run . (((HUGS)))

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Unread 03-02-2005, 08:42 AM
I just need to talk to people who understand


I am so sorry for your pain. Please call your doctor and let him/her know how you are feeling. Provera doesn't work well for everyone. You need to let your doc know how you are responding. It's important.

Also, we all have a right to pain management. Your doc should be willing to prescribe something that works to manage your pain (might not take it all away, but make it managable).

Gentle, healing s
Unread 03-02-2005, 09:18 AM
I just need to talk to people who understand

Casi - I'm in complete agreement with the pain management advice. Call your doc right away! Tell them how bad you are feeling! Get something to help with how you are feeling right now, and then get a referral to go see a pain managment specialist....it will most likely be the best doctors visit you ever make. They can't make your endo/adhesions go away - but they treat the pain, and drastically improve your quality of life! You will be dancing with your 3 yr old in no time!!! I have a 5 year old...I can completely relate!!! I am not on narcotics (By choice - a decision my PM doc respected) and am almost completely pain free for the first time in YEARS!!! It's an exhilirating feeling! It may not work for everyone - but it sounds like you are where I was a few months ago.

I sure hope you can find some comfort and some relief! Take care!

Unread 03-02-2005, 09:23 AM
I just need to talk to people who understand

Thank you all, I needed those comforting words.
Michelle, I think I will contact my Dr. I've got an appt with a dr who specializes in chronic pelvic pain Mar 17th so my regular gyn wants to see me every week until I go. I have an appt with him next Tuesday and I know I can't wait that long for pain relief.
I just dread calling my dr office, the nurse that always calls back isn't the easiest person to talk to and that makes me uncomfortable, but at this point I really don't care who I have totalk to.
Thank you all for listening to me, I hope it didn't sound like I was complaining too much. I have to make myself remember that it could be a lot worse and I am thankful that it's not. But sometimes you just need to vent. That's why this website is so importnat to me. I enjoy replying to others and others replying to me. It's a wonderful support system and I'm glad to be a sister on this site.

s to all of you
Unread 03-02-2005, 09:32 AM
I just need to talk to people who understand

Thanks Cortney, may I ask what you did/ are doing for your pain? Im just curious. Thank you for your kind words I'm glad you are feeling better, it must be wonderful you sound so cheerful in your reply and that's very comforting.
I'll bet it's wonderful feeling better for your 5 yr old!
I will call my gyn today and I'm seeing a dr who specializes in chronic pelvic pain Mar 17th so hopefully he will have some ideas for me.
Thank you for your sincere reply.
I'll let you all know what my gyn says.

big s
Unread 03-02-2005, 09:34 AM
I just need to talk to people who understand

Casi -

It's easy to forget - but important to remember - we pay our doctors to treat us!!! They (and their staff) are employed by us! So don't let them push you around! If you are uncomfortable with how you are being treated - it is important that you let your physican know that. If you aren't happy with how your doc treats you - shop around, find one that will treat you with the utmost respect. You deserve that!

Good luck!

Unread 03-02-2005, 09:46 AM
I just need to talk to people who understand

Sure - (Sorry - I was typing instead of reading!) my PM put me on a med called Topamax and Lodine. The Topamax took some getting used to, but now that I'm on my max dosage, I'm doing great. Not to mention that it's helping me loose weight! (added bonus!) The PM told me that there were many options out there for treatment. She asked me what I was wanting to try. I told her that I had lived on Narcotics for long enough - I was tired of living in a fog - I wanted to avoid them if I could. She agreed to try something different. There are other sisters on this site that are seeing PM's that are in Physical Therapy and are having great success in combination with different meds, and different things like that. I had never even heard of seeing a PM doc for CPP before my GYN suggested it. I looked at her like she had two heads - I know I did!!! I went to her fully expecting to have her set up my next surgery date, not send me to another doctor. I wasn't going to go. I was very angry at her for even suggesting such a thing. I had the whole "I don't want to treat the Pain - I want to fix the problem" attitude. Well, I still want to fix the problem. But while we are trying to fix the problem, I don't have to cringe when my little guy wants to rough-house with me!

I sure hope things work out for you! Feel free to write anytime! Let me know how you are doing!

Unread 03-02-2005, 12:54 PM
I just need to talk to people who understand

I can soooo relate to Courtney's reaction when her gyn suggested she try a Pain Management route. I remember being sooooo depressed because I wanted my problem "fixed", not "managed". It's a hard thing, mentally, to reconcile with pain when our imaginations run wild as to what our insides might look like. But, more surgery does tend to create more adhesions and more chances to have further inflammatory processes and nerve issues. Some of us just don't heal as well as our other sisters and if we can just bide our time managing the pain as best we can, hopefully, there will be a big research break-through that proves to have a more successful surgical outcome for those of us who still suffer.

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