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Help I really think I am losing it today Help I really think I am losing it today

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  #171  
Unread 08-07-2007, 07:05 AM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Glad to hear your first day of school was good. It's so exciting! I've been a little emotional lately, but I am working with my therapist on this.

Hope all is well.
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  #172  
Unread 08-08-2007, 07:20 AM
Long Post Alert

Kim...Happy to hear that you're enjoying your classes. Keep up the good work girl!

Char...How are you managing after your procedure? It's good that you're talking to your therapist, but keep in mind that the hormonal fluxes cause an emotional roller coaster too.

Apologies in advance. for the length of this. As for me... I was very unhappy with doctor yesterday. She told me I was healing well - a good thing. I told her I was having some breakthrough pain with the motrin, and asked for something to take care of that...she promptly told me that she didn't think i needed anything more. Even though I'm following orders exactly, I wasn't able to communicate that with her...her impression seems to be that I'm not walking enough and when I tried to correct her impression I was very frustrated at my inability to get my point across. She said i should "take a warm bath" and try to relax. I want extra points for not verbally beating her senseless at this point.

I just gave up and said, fine I'll see you in two weeks - for next checkup. When I was walking out by her office, I told her that I didn't appreciate being treated as if I was a wimp. She had me go back into the exam room, and she did try to apologize - it just came out more like a verbal pat on the head.

At this point, I was so frustrated/ticked off that the hormones kicked in and I got tears in my eyes. The doc immediately interpreted that as "she's hormonal...and irrational"....I was indeed hormonal, but was NOT in fact irrational. When I questioned the recommendations, her simply repeating what she had told me to do before, and not giving me any further information about why she thought her course of action would in fact work, was not what I was looking for. She then said, "I can see you're unhappy, it must be the shot we gave you". I would like an extra point again for not saying "acually it's because you're not listening to me and you're being a *****"

She acted as if I was simply "depressed" and said she wanted to see me in one week instead of two. Asked her why, said it was because I seemed unhappy and she wanted to check again sooner. Told her I would "suck it up" and see her in two weeks. Did not ask her if she would continue to ignore what I was telling her and just keep repeating herself then.... Earlier in our conversation, I had told her that when I said that I was in pain I didn't feel that (paraphrasing) "suck it up" was a good answer.

I've been online chatting with close friends, talking to family on the phone, watching movies, reading books...I'm as content as I can be under the situation...definitely NOT depressed. It really bugged me that she acted as if I just generally had a problem, and not that my reaction was based solely to her behavior. She didn't ask how much I was walking, how much I was doing - she just started (what felt like) dumping on me.

One last stupid thing...after telling her that it was uncomfortable to sit upright, she suggested that I "go to a movie to get out of the house...get my mind off things"...which came out as "stop obsessing over the surgery and get on with it". She, again, didn't ask any questions about what I did or how often, she just jumped to conclusions - fortunately for her she didn't break a hip.

And last, but not least...after knowing me for years (and admonishing me countless times for not taking meds for a headache because it "wasn't bad enough")...the ex (who took me to the exam) just stood there and let her dump on me. The day I came home from the hospital, he rousted the nurse because "I was doing everything I was supposed to, and was in pain" and got her to give me some meds....would he do that for me at the doctor yesterday....NO. He did say that I'd been having pain, but didn't back me up that I'd been walking...and doing what I'm supposed to...when I said that I'd been feeling fine emotionally...he said something like "i guess so"......

The ex has been taking care of me - making meals, helping me get up, generally being a great help (a pleasant surprise). He's seen everything I've been doing (and, honestly, occasionally overdoing) and he just left me twisting in the wind.

I just wanted to incinerate him with my eyes or something.

I left the office without making a follow up appointment...at this point I don't see the point of going back and trying to talk to her. She has this "script" she's following, and refuses to deviate from. Obviously, I know I need to go back for another checkup. I'm just going to insist on seeing the other doctor in the office, and if they want to know why I'm going to tell them honestly (and happily) why. The real irony is that, until yesterday, she's been great to talk to - really listened and conversed with me. Maybe she was just having a bad day, but holy cow!

Whew, ok, now i'm done. Sorry for the long rant, but this just (obviously) really upset me.

Hopefully things are much better for you two!
  #173  
Unread 08-08-2007, 01:51 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It has only been a little over a week since your surgery and she should know that OF COURSE you are still having PAIN. And I agree with you that she acted like a total anus! I would ask to see that other doctor in the office and would absolutely tell them why. I am so glad that your ex is helping you so much. That is very nice. But he should of stuck up for you and backed you at the doctors office. That would upset me too.Some things that I tried for the pain that seemed to help was a heating pad, 800 mg of ibuprofen and I always no matter what had a small pillow to hold against my belly, even though I had a TVH it did help. I wished I knew of something else to do but that is what I did and it did help. But I overdid it a lot. I did things that I know I should'nt of done and then paid severely for it the next day. I really hope you start feeling better. Let me know how you are. And change that doctor. She does not want to hear what you are saying and that my friend is not good. And it is okay to rant that is what we are here for. Take care. And thanks for the encouraging words about school... Good Luck to you and I will keep you in my prayers.
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  #174  
Unread 08-08-2007, 10:59 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Kim,

I had a TVH also, and was able to keep my ovaries. Thanks for your suggestions. I've found those things to be helpful too (except for the heating pad - with my hot flashes I'd probably explode if I added any more heat)!

Since I know that I tend to overdo things, I've been really concentrating on taking it easy...not walking too much, drinking lots of water, being very careful about how I move - not lifting or bending over. I am lucky to have help so that I can.

The doctor called about 7:30 tonight to "check and see how I was doing" . It was pretty funny actually, the ex answered the phone, and while he was carrying it to me he said "it's your favorite doctor" (without covering the receiver) sometimes he's ok. I had said "oh, great", not realizing that the phone wasn't covered. So when I answered, she said, "it's your clumsy doctor here". She asked how I was doing, I told her I'd tried both of the things that she suggested, without success. She called in a tylenol3 prescription for me...an intermediate between the percocet and the Ibuprofen (that I'm supposed to keep taking with the tylenol). Why in the world she couldn't do this yesterday, I don't know. I reiterated that I was drinking water, walking, and following all orders. She talked to me like a person again...so I guess she did realize how hard I was trying to control the "fist of death" yesterday, and that I really didn't appreciate her attitude. (sorry for the Dilbert reference). I understand that doctors are people too and can have "bad days" like the rest of us, but I really wish she'd called me back yesterday!

Thanks again for your help and support...I really appreciate having someone who "knows" to listen to me rant!

Take care,
Debi
  #175  
Unread 08-10-2007, 01:00 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Hi Debi,

So sorry to hear what's been going on with your doctor. Unfortunately, they don't hear you. My doctor said that I didn't need help when I got home and that I would be fine. I couldn't sit or get up without help. I don't understand them. I am still in pain and now my belly button is infected. I have had it. I told him about the pain the last visit and he didn't even check the area where it hurts. I am going on Wednesday afternoon and I am going to insist he checks it. I am so tired of not feeling well. I so understand your frustration. You don't feel like yourself and you won't for a while. Some days yes, others no. I am glad to hear you are taking it easy. I had the same mind set as you did. I am also glad the ex is helping. It makes life easier. Oh and even if the doctor was having a bad day, she should not take it to work with her and take it out on a woman who just had surgery. IT's post op!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My hairdresser gave me a haircut I hated and I called her to tell her to fix it and she told me I was hormonal. I wanted to punch her face (and I am not at all violent.

Hang in there and keep talking to us.

Kim,

How are things going with you? Let me know.

Girls, I am sorry it took me so long to respond, but I have been busy moving my things from one desk to the other and trust me, I've been in so much pain. Oh well, have a good weekend and we'll talk next week.

Charlotte
  #176  
Unread 08-10-2007, 08:03 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Hey Debi long time no hear from. I am sorry that you are hurting so bad and then with moving your desk around that is probably what is causing the pain. I am doing okay. I am doing pretty good in school and I am so happy about that. The pain has settled down somewhat. So I am hoping that it stays that way. Well sunshine I gotta go so I will talk to you later I sure hope you feel better let me know.
  #177  
Unread 08-10-2007, 08:08 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

LostGoddess
I am so glad that the doctor took care of that for you. Did they have to do repairs too? I had A and P repairs done and that hurt a lot for a long time it hurt to sit down. When I think of that I shudder just to think of that pain. OUCH. Hey if you need me I am here. Take it easy. And I am glad some of that worked for you. If I think of anything else I will let you know. Please take it easy and thank your ex for me for doing such a good job. Have a good weekend.
  #178  
Unread 08-13-2007, 05:35 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Hello Ladies
How are you both doing today? I sure hope better. LostGoddess I am keeping an eye on the weather over there. It looks like right now that the hurricane is going to miss the island lets hope it stays that way and don't turn. Well girls I have good news, I received my first grade for the week and it was 100% for the whole week. I am so happy! Now I just have to wait on my grade for the other class. I know it won't be as good but I am hoping for the best. Well I sure hope this finds you both in good health and good spirits. You two take care of yourselves and I will check in tomorrow and see how you all are doing. Take care now and don't over do it. Talk to you later.
Your Friend
Kim
  #179  
Unread 08-14-2007, 02:10 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Char and Kim:

Sorry to have neglected you the last few days. I am happy to report that, with the pain meds, I was finally able to get some rest. It's funny, I didn't really realize how much the pain was keeping me from being able to until it was gone. I took my first "non doctor" trip outside the house today. My mom drove me around a bit. We made a quick stop at the local Chamber of Commerce so she could add to her post card collection. I probably walked a little too much, but it was such a beautiful day outside (mid-70's and sunny) that I just couldn't resist.

Char,

I am SO SORRY that you're having problems with your last procedure. I'd wish that I was there to help you, but that wouldn't do you much good. I will wish that I was there so we could keep each other company and commiserate!

How's the new job in cubeland? Are you getting settled in? I know it's hard to let others "do" for you, but try to take it easy.

Hang in there...hopefully you're off getting some well deserved rest to. (And no more moving stuff young lady!)

Kim,

What can I say... way to go girl! You're off to a GREAT START with school! Happy to hear that your pain has settled down as well.

Take care ladies!
Debi
  #180  
Unread 08-14-2007, 10:05 PM
Help I really think I am losing it today

Thank you LostGoddess I am so thrilled with school. It is a bit harder this week but I am going to do my best that is all that I can do.
So you got out today how wonderful. I am so glad you are feeling better and able to get some much needed rest. How did you feel after you arrived home? I know my first couple times out I really hurt the next day I sure hope that is not the case with you. And your mom is still with you that is good. I am so glad you have help. I know the end of week one for me was mainly about it I had to go back to making meals and cleaning and I bet you that is one reason why it took me so long to heal. I am so thankful that you and Char are my friends and that we have each other to talk to. It is nice. I feel as though I have known you two for years. I appreciate the support with me going back to school. It is so scary because I am so afraid of making mistakes and failing. I don't want to disappoint anyone including myself. It is just so important to me to teach and I want it so badly that I guess I am just afraid of it being taken away from me and me not being good enough to get this stuff, if that makes sense. Well girl you take care of yourself and rest. I hope you continue to get better. Best wishes. Talk to you later.
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