Okay, now what's going on?

After thinking and rethinking what I should do about the fibroids that have taken over my body and my life, I finally came to the conclusion that, per three doctors' recommendations, I should go ahead with a hysterectomy. I even have an appointment next week with the gyn/surgeon who I've decided I would want to do the actual surgery (based on reputation and personal recommendation).

So what happens? So far, I have had the BEST week I have had in months---over a year, actually! I know part of the reason is because I have been extremely anemic for a long time and I am finally starting to come back from that. However, I also started my period this week and it has been the first "normal" period I've had in over a year. I had all the usual problems leading up to it, but the period itself has been quite well behaved and it appears that for the first time in over a year I won't be suffering from either an extended flow or even heavy bleeding.

Even though I have other symtpoms besides the bleeding (pain, discomfort, bloating, etc.), felling nearly normal again makes me question my decision to go ahead with the hysterectomy. Part of me says, "Wait and see, maybe things will get better from now on." The other part says, "Don't wait to be miserable again. Get this done and get back to living!"

Do you think my body is just having a big joke at my expense? I am so afraid I'll be lulled into a sense that everything is okay, decide not to go ahead with the hysterectomy, and then find myself barely functioning a couple weeks later.

Oh, what to do? What to do?

I went to the doctor, just for some help with peri-menopause symptoms - before he's done, I get a uterine biopsy, the news that I have large fibroids and hyperplasia. I went in convinced that I did NOT want a hysterectomy. My gyn then spends weeks doing a huge sales job on me - this (hyst) is absolutely THE best idea for you, etc., etc.
I explore all my options, including lots of visits to this site and finally decide that "okay, surgery is the best option." At my very next appointment, what does he say? "You seem to be feeling better right now. Maybe we won't need to do anything for you after all." I wanted to throttle him! He convinced me, so why is he back-pedaling now. I am feeling better, but still don't feel great and still have the fibroids, etc.
I finally called my internist who is also a friend and someone I trust implicitly. I poured out all my indecision, insecurities and frustrations on him.
He went through all of the pros and cons and ended with the standard "ultimately, it's your decision." But then he told me a couple of things that really got my attention. He said, "I've never seen a uterus over the age of 45 that didn't cause some kind of trouble. (I'm 44). No, you don't want unnecessary surgery, but you also deserve to enjoy life. You already know that your body is moving into menopause. With surgery you'll just get it done sooner, we'll know exactly what we're dealing with, instead of wondering if every new symptom or problem you have is related to menopause or something else. You'll get through it and you'll feel great and live happily afterward. If you were my wife, I'd say schedule the date and get on with it."
So, that's what I'm gonna' do. I don't know if this helps you at all with your decision. But I can certainly relate to the see-saw that you are on. I'll probably be on it a time or two again between now and my surgery date (Aug 17), but I've set my course and unless something major changes, I'm sticking to it. Good luck to you.

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You'll get through it and you'll feel great and live happily afterward.

For many women, that's true, but for many others, it is not. Your DR cannot possibly know for certain that it's true for you, nor can anyone else, not even your HysterSisters.

A hysterectomy is major surgery, and carries all of the same risks as any other major surgery. There are serious complications which can occur during the surgery and early recovery period which can be life threatening or require additional surgeries or medications. We recently created a new Bladder Matters forum as a home for the many members here who have had problems such as fistulas and bladder injuries during surgery as well as conditions like Interstitial Cystities which can be triggered by the surgery.

In addition, surgical menopause is much different from natural menopause, and not just because it happens at an earlier age. You might want to spend some time browsing the threads in our Hormone Jungle and No-Hormone Desert Oasis forums to get a sense of what surgical menopause is like. Some women do start on HRT right after surgery and do well on the very first one they try, and continue to live happily ever afterward. However, some women spend years trying to find the HRT or combination of HRT's that can make them feel like themselves again, and some never find it. Some find that some condition which they may or may not have known about before the hysterectomy makes them unable to use HRT's, and they must cope with their symptoms using other methods as best they can.

Some women have a hysterectomy and that's the last surgery they ever need. Some of us find it's only the beginning of a cavalcade of medical problems which require further and more serious surgeries over periods of years or even a lifetime. If you read some of the posts over in the Road Less Traveled forum you can see what kinds of conditions can be caused or triggered by removing the uterus and/or ovaries.

Also, a hysterectomy is a very emotional surgery for most of us. Even those of us who have children and were not planning to have any more have been caught by surprise after the surgery by the extent of the grief we feel for the loss of our ability to bear a child. We have a forum called Aching Hearts which was created as a home for members to share their feelings about the changes this surgery brings.

I'm not trying to scare you out of having surgery, only to suggest that you be absolutely sure before you sign on the dotted line that a hysterectomy is your only option. The reason is this: maybe you'll have a hysterectomy and everything will go great during the surgery and recovery, HRT won't be a problem and life will go on as usual. But no one can guarantee that, and there are enough of us around here for whom that fairy tale didn't come true that the possibility of a not so rosy outcome is hard to ignore. If you have a hysterectomy and end up having serious problems (of course we hope this doesn't happen, but for some women it will), it really helps to know that you did what you had to do. The feeling that you should have waited, should have explored other options, should have decided to live with the symptoms rather than taking the risk, and all the anger and self doubt that comes with it, is not something you want to experience.

For some women, there is no other option. Cancer is an example, but there are others. My surgery was for prolapse, but it was so severe there was no other choice. However, as another example, there are several methods of treating fibroids which don't require the removal of major organs. Our Resource Links directory has lots of information on these methods. In addition, anyone considering a hysterectomy for a non life threatening condition can benefit from reading and posting in our Hysterectomy Options and Alternatives forum, which is the forum for women who are still trying to decide whether or not to have a hysterectomy. Many members there end up deciding to try other methods first; sometimes, this results in their finding relief for their symptoms while not having to lose their uterus and/or ovaries.

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If you were my wife, I'd say schedule the date and get on with it.

I've read many posts from women whose DRs told them this very thing. And if the woman ends up with complications, is it the DR who has to endure further surgeries, or a lifetime of pain, or having to depend on medications to have a "normal" life? Please don't be persuaded by statements like that. Take responsibility for your own health. Do your research, and satisfy yourself that there is no other way to handle your symptoms and that relief from the symptoms is worth any possible risk you might have to incur. Then it's time to schedule the hysterectomy.

Good luck with whatever choices you decide to make.

-Linda

Well, I may have spoken too soon (LOL). After posting the original message, the bleeding picked up, the cramps came back with a vengeance, and I pretty much crashed by late afternoon. Not as bad as I have been, but bad enough.

Stymie, I appreciate how conflicted we all feel trying to make this difficult decision. In some ways it would make it easier if the doctors would just say, "You MUST do this," but I know ultimately I wouldn't like or trust that kind of recommendation. I've always made my own healthcare decisions, and I'd like to continue to do so, thank you very much! Whatever you ultimately decide, I hope it all goes well for you.

Linda, thank you for some very good reminders. It is my concern over trading one bad situation for a worse one that has made me very cautious and made me seek three different opinions (with a fourth coming up next week) before taking action. Thankfully, so far all of the doctors with whom I have consulted have thoroughly gone over the options, discussing which would be the best for my particular situation. I started out thinking I'd do ANYTHING to avoid a hysterectomy, and over time have come to the realization that might not be possible. If I do go ahead with a hysterectomy, I can assure you it won't be done lightly. I have come to realize, however, that my quality of life for the past 1-2 years has been virtually nonexistent. I can barely make it through the day, taking care of the basic essentials, after which I'm no good to myself or my family. To make it worse, I have a multiply handicapped daughter who is dependent upon me 24/7. On the one hand, I don't want to take any unnecessary risks that would suddenly deprive her of my care. Nor do I envision myself being able to continue to care for her if I continue to deteriorate or even remain as I am right now. So, just like with each and every other woman who comes to this board, it's not an easy decision to make!

I just want to add one thing. I am so happy I found this site. I had visited a number of other sites, looking for information on what treatment would be best for me. Some are so biased against any and all hysterectomies, that I would be afraid to mention that I was even considering such a possibility. I, frankly, resisted checking out this site, for fear that it would be "pushing" hysterectomies. Instead, I found that is far from the truth. While certainly very supportive of those who ultimately decide to go ahead with the hysterectomy, it also provides alternatives to consider as well as insights such as your post to make us stop and think before acting. In my opinion, this is one of the most balanced sites I've found on the topic.