TAH: TAH April 27 need advice on telling friends

I am having a TAH in 2 weeks. I need some advice. When is the best time to tell my far away friends? I don't want to seem needy, but I could use their support. I start typing the email and then I delete it thinking I should wait. Is it needy to tell people you email daily but haven't seen in a year?

I'd appreciate any advice anyone could give!

I'm scheduled to have mine a day after yours, and tomorrow I'm getting my second opinion. If this convinces me to go through with it, I'm going to start telling people immediately. I figure family members will want to plan ahead to help (I hope) and two weeks notice sounds fair to me. Don't feel like you are being needy, this is the one time in our life we are allowed to ask for help...and accept it, graciously and willingly! God bless you, and I'll keep you in my prayers.

If you email them daily I would tell them now. After all they can give support or not---I had one who was not supportive but everyone else was supportive, some I didn't see but got support by email. You're not needy because you'd like support from friends. That's only a couple wks away! I didn't have but a weeks notice, I called or emailed about it right away. IMO tell them now and benefit from the support, its hard to wait by yourself.

This is not about you being needy, this about you needing support. So you should tell all your family and friends either by email or by word of mouth now so that they have advance notice. That way the ones that can support you will be there when you need the support. There is no shame in letting people know you need help nor asking for it. Besides you need the support now and after surgery.

I've been open about the surgery with the people I see regularly but have also hesitated to contact the friends with whom my primary contact is e-mail because of distance but I'm beginning to do that now with my surgery a month away. I've already been surprised and gratified by the support offered to me and realize that my more distant friends and family will feel better "being in the loop" and I'm getting greedy-I'll take all the support I can get (both virtual and "real")!

I would tell anyone you want to know about it as soon as you want. My TAH/BSO was scheduled in March for 9 weeks away. I told all my family and everyone I see regularly immediately and I am still slowly telling other people. I've also been recently telling people that I normally wouldn't share such private info to but they are work related and need to inform them that I will be away for an extended period of time. I've had only good responses and caring questions from everyone.

TAH- April 23rd-

I have told everyone except my mother and best friend. Why? Because they are very anti-hysterectomy and would just complicate my emotions as I prepare myself pychologically. I plan to tell them a day or 2 before. My mother knows of my pelvic pain and adenomyosis, however, feels I should suffer as she did with this problem.

Decision2make, No one should suffer with pain and your mother should be understanding of that. I would think that telling your mom and BF would open their eyes to the surgery--and maybe offer you support as well. I don't think that I would wait 1-2 days before your trip to the castle. Just my OP.

Poptart2010, I work in the food and beverage business and have a really good relationship with my customers. I emailed them one week before, just so that they were not asking my co-workers where I was. I'd rather them hear it from me, dcirectly. The sponses that I got---from men and women were great. I often get 'surprise' emails from them, to see how I'm doing and when they can expec t me to be back.

As for friends and family, I cybered them ASAP. You wouldn't believe how many women that I know, emailed back saying that they have had it done also. They have been a huge support system for me!!!

For my facebook friends and family, I DID INBOX them too!!!! I never put it as my Status--as I thought that some ppl(distant male friends--TMI) didn't need to know.

Good luck to all you ladies on your pending trip to the castle....you WILL NOT regret it!!!!!

I am sched. for LAVH on April 28th. I am 41 years old and have only told my mom and my best friend. I am still debating on telling my son who is training to be deployed hes in the Marines. Between my family and my friend I have received so much concern I am afraid to say anything to anyone now. I am used to watching over others and having the shoe on the other foot has been unsettling. Just my story.

I have been very open with everyone. My family all livevery far apart. I told my mother who I knew would tell the rest of my family. I was overwhelmed with the calls and emails I received from not only immediate family, but cousins who have gone through something similar. The support I received was very comforting. While my husband's family is supportive, there is nothing like your own kin to warm your heart. I always feel it is better to be up front with people. You may be glad you were.