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stupid things people say... stupid things people say...

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Unread 07-03-2007, 01:37 PM
stupid things people say...

I remember my beloved mother who passed in 1985 telling me to NEVER put on make-up if you feel badly because no one would believe you or give you any sympathy. i think mom was right!! (I hope she can hear that in heaven!)
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Unread 07-03-2007, 01:59 PM
stupid things people say...

my friend in NJ equated my surgery to her 3 C sections. She said "yeah... I have been through this three times. " Then last week she proceeded to ask me how I was doing. I replied that I was doing good but it was slow going. She responed "Why? Are things not going well?"

Sometimes you just have to tell yourself "consider the source." I had to bite my tounge to NOT get into the my surgery was a bit different than yours thing. So I changed the subject.

If your surgery was 6/12, mine was 6/4, and you are walking a mile already... you are dong wonderful. My drive through teller trip and short jaunt into Rite Aid made me ready to come home and rest.

I promised myself that this week I am going to start walking and build up my stamina.
Unread 07-03-2007, 02:02 PM
stupid things people say...

If I hear the C-section reference one more time I think I'm going to scream but this is my favorite so far...

I had a business associate/friend stop by the office last week. He told me I was looking great, blah, blah. I asked how his wife was doing and he says to me..."Oh, she had something very similar to what you just had done. She had a uterine ablation and a cyst removed from her ovary."

Um excuse me, I had my guts cut wide open, hunks of my innerds removed and about a zillion stitches and staples. And the two are similiar HOW???

I have no choice but to just anymore!!!
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Unread 07-03-2007, 02:15 PM
stupid things people say...

I have a new answer I am going to try out the next time the c section thing is mentioned -- because we ALL know it will be!! I am going to say, "Exactly! For example, having your brain cut open is the exact same thing as having it removed."

and apparently MANY people are walking around with brainectomies!!!
Unread 07-03-2007, 02:22 PM
stupid things people say...

Originally Posted by LoneStarLoralei
You know yesterday I went without rx meds, 5 days post op, only advil.. had a horrible day.. very tired.. not bad pain, just exhaustion...
Then my husband comes home, of course I don't have any make up on.. and the FIRST thing he asks is, "Well did you take the pain meds? maybe you would feel like getting dressed and putting on make up..." aka so I don't have to look at your ugly butt the way it is now...

Your darned if you do and your darned if you don't... So today I did take pain meds but still didn't put on make up.. heck with him...
Wow, hubby must have been on Rx meds of his own to make a comment like that and think it wouldn't result in a frying pan upside the head! lol. Recovery from surgery shouldn't require any of us to put on any shows for anyone. Why is makeup necessary to walk around the house and heal? This is OUR time to be selfish, minimalistic, and concerned for ourselves and our recovery, NOT to doll ourselves up, push ourselves, and pretend we're physically healthier than we really are. And poo on anyone who expects more from any of us during our recoveries!
Unread 07-03-2007, 02:25 PM
stupid things people say...

Originally Posted by lalawoman
I have a new answer I am going to try out the next time the c section thing is mentioned -- because we ALL know it will be!! I am going to say, "Exactly! For example, having your brain cut open is the exact same thing as having it removed."

and apparently MANY people are walking around with brainectomies!!!
OMG...this is probably THE single best analogy ever! Thanks for giving us ALL that one fast, quippy comeback in which to defend ourselves!

Cheryl, 37, TAH 6/21/07
Unread 07-03-2007, 02:50 PM
stupid things people say...

Thanks ScrubsFan! if only I could have thought of it the first fifty times someone said it...
Unread 07-15-2007, 02:47 PM
stupid things people say...

I've only heard the c-section thing a couple of times, but what I don't care for is people telling me how great I look. I've gained like 40 pounds since surgery! One of my "friends" upon hearing this, said, "well yes, you do look a lot fatter in your face." Needless to say she's now a former friend. I have learned through this process to stay away from toxic people. She has always been a little snotty and rude here and there but that sealed the deal. She's out of my life. However, I have found a lot of really good, decent, people will make comments that they don't realize are hurtful. I'm not sure why, but I'm able to cut them some slack and not snap back at them. It's like after having cancer I realize that some people just don't understand when they're being stupid. And yet there are other people that will say mean things, like, "why aren't you back to normal yet - it's been six months" and it just frosts me. Maybe it's not what you say but how you say.
Unread 07-15-2007, 03:02 PM

I can SO relate! I too had to go in for a mani/pedi the day before surgery so they would look good! LOL

AND... I usually blow dry and style my hair (I have a lot of it) ya know with the round brush...ugh! Since my LSH (July 3) I get in the shower, get out, and let my hair dry on its own. It is so wonderful and liberating!!! HAHA And I think my hair is healthier becasue of it.

Originally Posted by ScrubsFan
I gave myself a French pedicure before going in for my surgery. A friend of mine is a surgical tech and commented that so many people who go in for surgery have feet that look terrible! lol. So, I did it as a favor to myself while I could still bend over and reach my toes as well as for those who might get stuck looking at 'em. lol. The pedicure I gave myself almost two weeks ago is still going strong, and I encourage everyone to treat themselves to just such a thing before going in to surgery. It's hard to feel good about yourself after surgery when you don't feel like yourself after surgery, so every little bit of pampering helps!

I will say this, hair has been thanking me for my limited styling lately! Being at home and not in the mood to impress anyone, I haven't bothered blow-drying my hair much and it has felt awesome! I'm welcoming my recovery-time as an opportunity to not futz with my hair, not worry about makeup, and not worrying about dressing to impress. I shower, condition my hair, wear comfy clothing and worry about very little. There will be plenty of time when I have to dote on my appearance when I return to work, but in the meantime, I'm giving myself some much needed time off!

Cheryl, 37, TAH 6/21/07
Unread 07-15-2007, 03:35 PM
stupid things people say...

Well mu long distance friend that compared her C-section to my hysterectomy finally contacted me a couple of days ago. I hadn't contacted her since our last conversation because I just don't need insevsitivity right now.

It finally dawned on her I guess that having several things removed could be a little more difficult than her C-section. Although when we started discussing the incision, she did make it about her LOL. She proceeded to tell me that with all three of her surgeries she ended up with a staff infection in her incision.

When I said it had a been several weeks since we talked, she said "well you can call ME." Now why in the world would I want to do that....LOL

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