Changes to plans. Help please. Freaking out. (apologies for being long)

I desparately need some encouragement. I'm really starting to freak out.

In early November I felt something inside me tear away and fall and went to the gyno to see what happened. He diagnosed me with pelvic prolapse and recommended a TVH. I knew something was wrong down there but I didn't expect the "H" word. Gyn told me what was involved with the surgery and said we had time to play with since he didn't consider my situation to be that urgent. Since I had just started a new job and couldn't be out for surgery that soon in my employment we decided on April 7 as a date. So, I started researching, found this site, and read everything I could.

Fast forward to the end of February when I saw the gyn again for my annual exam. I had abdominal surgery 21 years ago (that I had less than a week to prepare for) that was due to complications after the birth of my DS. My gyn knew I'd had surgery, one of his best friends did it, but he hadn't seen any of the records. Luckily (?) I was able to obtain the records of my son's birth and the subsequent surgery from the military mecical record archives and gave them to him when I went for my exam. That's where things started falling apart.

He looked at the records before starting the exam and after a few moments of thought told me that given the nature of the prior surgery I could have internal scaring and that I would be a good candidate for a DaVinci hyst instead of the TVH like we originally discussed in November. After the exam we talked more, he told me I would have 5 abdominal incisions and showed me where they'd be. The highest will be about an inch above my belly button the next two will be about half way down the abdomen between my belly button and sides and the last two on my lower abdomen near my sides. He told me he'd be removing my uterus and doing anterior and posterior repairs using sutures to lift things up and secure them. Since this was an appointment for an annual exam I was given another appointment with him to further discuss the DaVinci surgery, and was also setup with an appointment with a urologist to assess my incontinence level. The appt with the uro just happened to be before my next appt with him. Ohhhhkayyy, that's one change. I was prepared for the TVH now my tummy is being cut. I told myself that this would be okay, that the DaVinci would be kinder to my vagina in the long run, which was something something that I was concerned about.

I saw the urologist this past Friday. He did a cystoscopy (NOT a pleasant experience) then filled my bladder, had me cough and confirmed that I was indeed a "leaky lady" that needed fixing. I asked him what he would be using to lift the bladder. He told me that the gyn would be lifting the bladder (huh??), that his job was to install a sling on my urethera! HUH!!! Another change? A SLING?? What kind? He said that I needed a Monarch TOT (if I'm using the correct slang). With all that I've read here my next question was about using my own fascia instead. I was told that I wasn't a good candidate for that option because of how weak my insides were and how much things had dropped. He felt that I needed the extra support of the monarch sling in order to get the maximum sucess and longevity. I then made a comment about it being done during the DaVinci. That's when I'm told that it goes in through the front one of the TWO CUTS IN MY VAGINA that the gyn uses for the anterior and posterior repairs! I stammer out "cuts in my vagina? I might be nieve but I was under the impression that I was having a DaVinci hyst and that other than the cervix removal the vagina was only cut in a vaginal hyst." He replied to the negative, that I would indeed have two cuts in my vagina and that he'd be using the anterior one to insert the sling. He was concerned that I didn't know this. I told him that the way the scheduling worked out my appointment with him was before the appointment with the gyno to discuss the surgery and that I would definately ask about that. That calmed him down. He sent me home with a flyer about the Monarch sling and suggested that I look at the manufacturer's website and call him if I still had questions. The change count is now up to three. I haul my shaking self home and connect to the Monarch website to learn what I can about the sling. Believe it or not they acually have an instruction manual posted that gives the directions for how to install the sling! (DH and I thought that was rather humerous). When I read the instructions I almost lost it. I discovered that not only is a cut in the front of the vagina required for the sling but it also requires cuts my labia, one on each side of the clitoris, and that the tape is cut off flush with the skin of those cuts!

That was all-she-wrote for me. Needless to say I feel like I'm going to be stuffed in a roto slicer to be sliced and diced and am a basket case right now. How bad are the vaginal cuts for anterior and posterior repairs? I'm afraid that they'll be horrifyingly painful. When DS was born I had a 3rd degree episiotomy and 4th degree tear and it was horrible. What about the five abdominal incisions for the DaVinci, how bad are they? How bad is the scaring? The abdominal surgery I had 21 years ago was not a pleasant experience. Incision pain (felt like my guts were going to fall out), BAD gas pains that wouldn't move, bowels wouldn't kick back in, etc. Then there's the cuts on the labia for the sling. How bad are they? Do you feel the tape? I "go brazilian" (and love it), will the cuts/tape interfere with keeping that up? I thought I was emotionally prepared for this but now I'm not so sure. I do see my gyn soon so I hope that will help but with still having three weeks to wait for the surgery I'm hoping (praying) that my sisters can give me some words of wisdom and support.

Hi sweetprincess
I'm sorry to hear you're facing all this. I had a lot of this done and have healed up really well. I'm so thankful it could all be fixed. I do understand your nervousness. I felt the same way before mine.

I had a sling done and had the incisions in the labia. I won't kid you, they were very tender and took some time to heal up, but I love the results of the sling. I haven't had incontinence since having it done. I have never felt the tape.

I also had a rectocele repair. The important thing to remember is that if you will commit to resting and giving your body what it needs to heal you will come through and your body will heal. I used a donut pillow for sitting right at first and had to limit how long I sat, even on that, but it gets better as your recovery progresses.

Try not to worry about all this. You are doing well to inform yourself and talk to your drs to get your questions answered. If you have any doubts about your need for any of it I would greatly encourage you to get another opinion so you can feel you're making the best decisions possible for your physical needs.

You are looking at major surgery, but all hysterectomies are major surgery. Each added repair can add to your recovery time. It sounds like you have good drs. Try to stay calm and ask your questions so you'll know what to expect. I hope you have good success with everything.

Rita

You poor sweetie. That, indeed, is hard to take. If it makes you feel ANY better whatsoever, although I have not yet had my hysterectomy I have had a laparoscopy with 2 little incisions in the abdomen (one in the belly button, one at my pubic hair line) and honestly, you can barely see them and they took no time to heal. So that part shouldn't be too bad. The rest, I can't comment on since I haven't had that experience.

My thoughts are with you. I'd be pretty scared too. Just try to focus on the outcome and think you won't be incontinent and that's a good thing.

Steph

hey princess,

i know it seems like a lot and you seem alot like me a whole bunch of stuff needs to be fixed and you a worried about your body bouncin back after i had my now 10 y/o ds i had a 4th degree tear and it was not fun at all... and i have also had my gall bladder removed laperscopaly (sp?) and with in 2 months i bounced back thought it was gonna take longer but nope i have 5 little scars from it and i'm feeling good 5 years later..... may god bless you

tah 04/16/09
and they are taking it all

chrissy age 29

I know that I need the surgery it's just that the magnitude of it all has hit me like a brick wall. I guess I was just really naive (stupid) in thinking that since I was getting a DaVinci hyst that ALL the work would be done that way. I think that the thing that bothers me the most is the fact I'll have cuts in my labia AND my vagina, and what bothers me second most is the pain, since I'm allergic to asprin and nsaids.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by preciouspearl I had a sling done and had the incisions in the labia. I won't kid you, they were very tender and took some time to heal up, but I love the results of the sling. I haven't had incontinence since having it done. I have never felt the tape. I used a donut pillow for sitting right at first and had to limit how long I sat, even on that, but it gets better as your recovery progresses.

Rita, how long did it take for your labia and internal stitches to heal? How big were the cuts? I hope this isn't too personal a questions but, were the cuts on your labia stitched or taped? I guess I need to get a donut pillow.

I am committed to resting and allowing my body to heal. My Dr. did give me six weeks off work. It sounds like I'll be needing every last second of it. I only hope six weeks will be long enough.

Hi sweetprincess,
I had stitches in the labia. I don't know if some drs use tape or not, but considering the location and the amount of pressure that's put on the area I would guess stitches are probably used. It's a little hard to remember because I didn't regularly look at them, but I think they were about 1/2 inch long, no more than that. It's a very small area to have an incision.

I had quite a bit of work done and my dr cleared me at five weeks. I was a little shocked because I was no where close to being 'back to normal'. My incisions were healed though, but the area was still very tender. It continued to be uncomfortable for me to sit upright in a car seat for very long. It hurt to compress my abdomen and also to have the pressure of sitting for too long at a time under most any conditions, especially on a hard surface.

We didn't try having sex until the 7th week because I just didn't feel ready,everything was just too tender. It went fine when we did. I had some knots to stitches that hadn't dissolved that needed to be clipped. I also was very tender for a day or so after each time, but it wasn't anything so bad that it made it impossible or unenjoyable. That was one of the big tests for me. In certain situations I could feel where the stitches in the labia had been. It took several months for that tenderness to go all the way away.

Try to remember that the average time for initial healing for a hysterectomy is 6 to 8 weeks, minimally. Many women need longer than this, especially if there is any kind of complications,which hopefully you won't have. We all heal at different rates depending on our bodies and our surgeries. I hope you can keep an open mind about the six weeks. Depending on what type of work you do it might be difficult to jump back in full time at six weeks. My dr told me to work into my normal routine a little at a time, not all at once. I would talk to the dr ahead of time about work and see how open s/he is to giving you more time if you find you need it.

I know this is a lot to think about and try to prepare for mentally. Make your list of questions and try to talk to your dr about it all so you will know where your dr stands on things and so you can prepare as much as possible. Do the possible and then try not to worry. We all do the best we can with what we have available to us. It seems there are always things that we don't expect, good and bad.

I hope you will begin to feel calmer about your surgery. Keep us posted on your progress.
Rita