What to tell my child about surgery?

I have a 7 year old daughter. I was wondering what I should tell her about the surgery, I don't want to scare her but I want her to be prepared.

Does anyone have any advice?

I would be as honest as I can be without scaring her. Tell her you are having an operation near your tummy because it's not healthy inside. (Use the word uterus if she is aware that girls have one)

This is probably the best time to open your lines of communication with her as she gets older. I think the more you honest you are with her the better.

She may hear you talk afterwards with friends/family and wonder why you didn't tell her that.

That's just my You know your child best and what she can handle, trust your instincts. Some 7 year olds are pretty bright!

I have an 8 year old boy, and had a TAH / RSO last week. We were fairly up front with him that I had some parts in my tummy that were causing me pain, so the Dr. was going to cut my tummy open and take them out. I think he stressed a bit when he heard "hospital", "surgery", "cutting", etc. But once we explained to him that I was in pain, and this surgery would make the pain go away, he seemed to get it. We emphasized that it would be a long recovery for my belly to heal and that I was going to need a lot of help from him and dad.

We found that even though he didn't talk about it, he was very anxious the day of surgery, even after DH called him to tell him everything went well and I was out. DS didn't seem to calm down until "I" called him from the hospital the next day.

Once we were all back home, though reminded constantly to be gentle around me, DS was still rough housing quite a bit. So finally, I asked him if he wanted to see my incision (horizontal, abdom). He hesitantly said yes, so I showed it to him for a few breif seconds. Thought he was going to pass out! But ever since then, he "understands" and has been the perfect little helper.

My son was 4 when I went in and had my surgery and I tried to explain it the best I could without going into great detail...I just told him that mom was going to have surgery and I would be gone over night and be home the next day. I also told him that I couldn't pick him up or have him sit on my stomach for awhile since I would have stitches inside. He seemed to understand and was really good with helping when I got home. He tried to help with cleaning and making me lunches and my DD gave him little jobs to help out. I was lucky to have my DD she was 16 at the time and could drive and do errands for me and help with the everyday things I couldn't do.
Most kids understand things we don't think that they would so I would be as open as you can and answer her questions the best you can.
Take care

My girls were 9 and 12 when I had my surgery. Be honest. If they understand what periods are, explain that sometimes there are problems in the uterus that can cause a lot of pain. The dr. is going to remove the uterus so you won't be in pain. You'll be sore afterwards and will need her help as you recover. If you're having LAH, tell her how they'll blow you up like a balloon to work inside, or if you're having an abdominal cut, explain in easy to understand terms. I'd avoid the word "cut" if I were you, since it is a very emotionally charged word (blood, crying from a kid's perspective). Use words like staples (they know from school that holds things together) and glue. These are concrete terms that they are familiar with. Speak very matter of factly, as if you were giving instructions. Kids sense fear, so if you're upset, they'll be upset. Let them come see you at the hospital. It's very reassuring to them that you're OK and they'll understand that you aren't feeling well and will need their help. Kids are very concrete thinkers even into their teenage years. The more words that you can use that are familiar and neutral, the better. But be straightforward and answer as many questions as you can. Our experience with our girls was comfortable. They weren't afraid, but knew I'd need their cooperation.

There are some great books out there. Check your local library or bookstore for some. Here are a couple which might work:

Going to the Hospital by Michele Bates
Clifford Visits the Hospital by Norman Bridwell
Franklin Goes to the Hospital by Paulette Bourgeois

Even though I think these books are to prepare kids to go to the hospital themselves, they also translate well to saying, "This is what's going to happen to me..." to help make it less scary.

My ds was 3 when I had my surgery, and he did insist upon seeing my scar when I came home. I think he was a little scared at first, though -- but your dd is older so she can understand more. The more you can let her know (in a sensitive way, of course), the better.

Hope this helps.

I am going in for an LSH on August 20th. I have 3 children - 9 yr old girl, boys - 7 and 4.

I have been talking with all three of them since we made the decision to go ahead with surgery. My boys are not as interested, but my daughter is. So I have gone into more detail with her - but I have taken my ques from her as to what she was interested in and could understand.

I think it has helped to be honest with them. They are able to understand that I will not be able to do some things for a while, and that this will be their time to show me what great helpers they can be to me and my husband. They seem to be up for the task. They are even talking about serving me breakfast in bed - too bad I have to have surgery to get that kind of royal treatment! LOL!!

But I agree with the other postings that all kids are different and will react differently. But take your ques from your child and go with it. You will probably be pleasantly surprised.

Best wishes!!

Thanks to all of you for your replies.

She does know what periods are. I also had to go through IVF twice to conceive her, so she has also been told in kid friendly terms that Mommy can't have more babies. So she does have some knowledge in that area.

I had a car accident about 2 years ago, and was in bed and recovering for about 3 or 4 days. I wasn't back to normal for a few weeks so she has seen me like that too.

I think she will probably handle it very well.

I was the oldest, and 8 when Mom had hers. I was used to her going to the hospital to have babies taken out so having the "baby basket" taken out wasn't such a strange idea for me. My siblings were 5, 3 and 6 months. Mom and Dad didn't panic, so I didn't panic, and if I didn't panic, the younger ones figured they didn't need to either.

We got the details as we grew up.

My goddaughter, who is six, knows what moles are and wants me to have the ones on my neck removed, so I told her I had a really big mole on my inside and the doctor was going to take it out.

I also have a 7 year old daughter. My best advice is to be overly honest. I was very honest with my daughter and she has handled this so wonderfully. In fact she has been such a huge help. She is full of questions and I answer her honestly. I also let her know what is ok to share with others and whats private about whats happening to my body. The most important thing to remember is that you NEED to make sure you daughter knows that whats happening to you isn't normal. I wanted my daughter to know that so when she does get her period some day she isn't scared about having the pain and problems that I had. Best wishes!!
Darcie