roller coaster emotions

Hi Ladies, Well two weeks today it will be done. I am going through some roller coaster emotions here, I was diagnosed with simple hyper/plasia with atypia cells, and advised to have a TAH/BSO, I do trust my doctor completely and I am satisfied with my decision, but okay here goes the question of all questions. First explanation I am 50, do not have children, always wanted them but never had the opportunity to do so for reasons to long to explain, but just did not do it. Well anyway I am very sad now that this is sort of like the final decision, I mean I know that I am 50 and they probably dont work anyway, lol. I know that I am probably being foolish and this is the hormones and stress from the surgery, but I find my self crying at the drop of a hat, example the other day this lady found out in the office that she was having a girl and I was so happy but at the same time so sad. Gosh am I loosing it. Thanks ladies for any help.

I think it is normal and natural to mourn and grieve a bit. The surgery will be kind a closure to things for you. Its only natural you will feel some emotions. I think you ought to go ahead and cry if you feel like it. Do you have a significant other you can share your feelings with, and whose shoulder you can cry on? Griefs are easier when shared.

Hi Toni B.,
I think what you are going through is completely normal. I am 42 and never wanted children, so I didn't have much difficulty deciding on a hysterectomy after my Dr. advised me to have one. I scheduled the surgery and was very happy with my decision. Then after my pre-op appointment, I met a co-worker and his very pregnant wife. I wished them well, got into my car, and burst into tears. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed because I could never have children, even though I didn't plan on having children. I thought I was going crazy, but then when I talked it out with my BF, I realized that even though I didn't plan on having children, I could still change my mind. The decision was still up to me. Once my uterus was gone, that was it. No going back. I think I was greiving for that ultimate loss of control. Once I talked it out, I felt much better.
I hope your surgery and recovery goes well.
Christina

I had to have my hyesterectomy fairly quickly because of possible ovarian cancer so I was agonizing over that before surgery. After I found out I was ok, the part about losing my uterus and no more children hit me hard. I'm 48, have 2 young adult sons, left an abusive marriage 3 years before my surgery, remarried a great guy, and had kind of hoped that maybe I'd get lucky again in the baby dept...

I was amazed at the intensity of my grief. Fortunately I see a great therapist who told me that my feelings were very normal and that she had worked with other women post-hysterectomy who had similar feelings.

No matter how old we are, if we had children or didn't want them, I think that it is a significant loss for many of us. I'm now at 12 weeks post-op and feel much better emotionally (and physically).

Debbi