Men!

Ever wonder why the things that give us the most problems begin with the word men??? MENopause - MENstruation . Hang in there I think most men have a tough time dealing with this surgery - but they come through when you need them!! My mother calls the condition you described with the wind shield wipers "convienient retardation" (smile)

And--- How about MENi Pads! Ok, I know that was a stretch...

Hi,
I wonder sometimes how these men can be so insensitive! When I told my DH about the upcoming surgery he was more worried about the lack of hormones and the mood swings than anything else. But I will say that since my surgery he has been a gem. I guess their thinking is totally different (and weird I might add).
So don't fret it too much. I'm sure he'll come through for you.
God Bless

Barb

Geesh I'm glad you posted this!! I don't even have a surgery date yet and I've worn out my DH!!

I thought it was me being a hypochondriac!! I am so glad the rest of you need to talk about this too!

I have a cousin in law who is in my same predicament and we can wear out the family talkin about it. The men just don't want to hear about it.

My Dh is good but i try not to talk too much about it cuz he will totally tune me out. I tend to obsess on things anyway...

This site is great. It is such a relief to realize i'm not alone in actually wanting the surgery.

Before I had my ultrasound that confirmed my cysts and adhesions. I felt like I was looking to be sick, I was just relieved when something actually was really there. That meant I wasn't crazy!! I was so afraid they wouldn't find anything and that everyone would think i was imagining the pain and bloatiness.

Since i have found out it has been a big relief to actually KNOW what's causing everything. Now all I have to do is wait and prepare for what's to come.

Back to the original subject.

Men.

Mine has a broken toe, when I finish talking about my mess, I always remember to ask about his toe and how HE'S feeling.

He seems to like that...

GGRRR!!! Men! My surgery is scheduled for this Friday morning. Last night, I asked my DH what he will be doing while I'm in surgery, if he wants anyone to be with him or read a book, etc? He replied that he will probably just go to the office & have someone call him when my surgery is over... I was totally perplexed.......

I left the room to do something else....he waited over half an hour to come tell me that he was just playing with me.....*punch*

Funny, right ladies?

MEN!!

My DBF is 100% jewel, really, but he is still a man. He listened attentively the first few times. But I already know from responses to previous life crisis (not just mine) that he thinks he is doing you a favor by "distracting" you from whatever is worrying you. I know he means well. Emotions are running high for us LIW. And men typically :run3: from emotions.

I try and remember to give the benefit of the doubt-he-meant-it-the-way-it-came-out when he says things like "Well, you were the one who wanted the surgery."

MY mother told me women have filters between their brains and their mouth, unlike our counterparts. !!!

You are definitely not alone in this area. Sometimes they can be sooooo insensitive. :burning: But I myself do tend to go overboard talking about it especially since it has been scheduled for 2 months. I think I talk about it more for myself and all I want him to do is listen and nod. Also, if I don't tell him things he won't know what's going on he's not one to read all those womens magazines. I do remember however, after his emergency appendectomy (which I think will come in handy when I need some sympathy) the doctor told him he couldn't drive for at least 2 weeks. My reply to that was "Well how is he going to get to work?". The doc wasn't as impressed with my sense of humor as I was. Anyway, they love you and will surprise you with their support just when you think they're not paying attention. Mine has definitely surprised me these last few months. Almost makes me wonder if he's knows something I don't. If they didn't act like "men" we would get worried about that too. See how our crazy minds work. Everything will work out just hang in there and keep posting.
's.

Pas,
You & I just keep having more & more in common, I swear! My DH & I just went through the stupid wiper blade thing too,.. only mine didn't turn out as badly.
I too, can relate to all the comments laid out here,... I too, obsess about my surgery and talk about it WAY too much (but c'mon, 3 weeks and counting...!!), and he's getting tired of it. He changes the subject, or makes sarcastic comments such as, "Oh, everything always turns back into being about YOU, doesn't it? [snicker-snicker}"......... or sings lines from that new song, "I wanna talk about me"....... so where's the love?
Nah, my DH is a gem too, and I know him well enough to know that when he acts like this,.... avoiding the subject, changing the subject, making jokes,...................... what he's really feeling is that he's truly scared & worried, conscerned,....... he's thinking thoughts like 'what would he do without me if something went wrong' (he did every time I gave birth too!!)... Men don't usually like to show their emotions.. it's not manly, but my DH is a sensitive one, and I know him too well to take anything too personally,... we've been together long enough that I am able to 'decode' practically everything that comes out of his mouth, incl. his gestures.
But, he is still a man, and an insenstive butthead he can be too,... like when it comes to sex, or the lack there of due to my female 'junk'........... although he KNOWS why, he still turns it around in the form of jokes and comments on how I"M TURNING HIM DOWN YET AGAIN... like it's personal!! *punch*
Anyway,... keep your chin up. They all have their moments, and you & I both know that our's will pull through for us. They love us, are conscerned for our well-being (mine calls me numerous times a day to ask me how I'm doing,.. even if he adds other BS in there too,.. I still know he's thinking of ME),.... they really do care,.. men just don't always know how to deal with their emotions, and try to suppress them,.. remember, they're supposed to be the :muscle: ones, right? So while they're trying so hard to be tough,.. they unintentionally step on our feelings along the way.
It's a tough wait on all of us... we just all show it differently.
I'm your buddy, pas,.. I'm here for you whole-heartedly, and when the big moment finally comes,.. your DH will be too. He loves you and so do I!! {{{SUPER BIG HUGS}}} & rest easy... and PS- how's your ankle doing?

I can relate to the emotions of wanting to talk about it and DH just getting that glazed over look...but I'll take it a step further. My TAH/BSO was January 28, 2002 at 1:00 - had to be at the hospital at 11:00am, so that means we should hit the road around 10:30. At precisely 9:59am my DH decides to CHANGE THE OIL IN MY CAR! Parks it in the middle of the driveway, up on the ramps, doe de doe, this'll only take a minute! I almost keeled over...I just KNEW something would go wrong and I'd miss my check in time. I could not even speak I was beyond any emotions! Here I was a nervous wreck, getting ready to do the deed, and Mr. Goodwrench is under the car. Needless to say, it's a great story now and we laugh about it...but I was NOT LAUGHING at the time!!! (and yep, he finished in time for the trip!)

My hubby got bored while we were waiting for my contractions to get close enough together to go to the castle with princelet #1 and started tinkering on the car. I stick my head out to tell him I'm at 4 minutes we need to go- "wait a minute" I wait a couple and then yell my water broke and it was time to GO NOW and he said "can't you hang on a minute?" *punch*

(no longer hubby but at least I didn't kill him)