too much concern

Now this has been bugging me a lot! I have been in pain for a few years. Recently the stabbing, shooting pains, but always constant pelvic pain. I still do everything-golf, bike ride, exercise, walk, mow lawn, work in the yard. I am NOT one to complain. So when I told my brother and his wife I was having this surgery they were shocked. They didn't even know I was having any problems. My DH knows I am in pain, but I don't think talking about it a lot helps that much anyhow so I haven't belabored it.

So now that the surgery is scheduled, they keep asking me if I am in pain. Like we were golfing on Friday evening, and after every couple of holes one of them would say, How are you doing? Ae you in any pain?

Well, yes I am, yes it hurts really bad. Yes sometimes it takes my breath away. But it hurts when I just sit around too, and I might as well be doing something.

I forget about it for a few minutes, then they are asking me again, so then it is brought back up into my current consciousness.

Anyone else feel this way-just give me a little sympathy, then treat me like anyone else, and let's get on with living until the surgery? They also are taking the day off work to come to the hospital that is 120 miles away from where they live. This loving and concerned family thing is getting on my nerves-tee hee.

Feel for you, too much sympathy can be as bad as not enough. Think I would like to be somewhere in the middle, where folks ask now and then but not every five minutes. I have no fear of that as most of my family, friends and work colleagues seem to think it is like having a tooth pulled and there is no problem. The fact I feel awful and very tired all the time means nothing, just get told I am lazy. Have come to terms with their unsympathetic attitude now, maybe once I have had the op things will change, maybe.

Hope you are coping OK and good luck with the OP, hope you will post to let us know how it goes.

Jan x

At home my family has been living with my discomfort for just about two years now--they recognize when I lay down for a few minutes its because we need to wait for the 'pain' to pass--and it does. They don't crowd me--they don't say much--but their concern is shown in kids who just put their laundry away w/o being asked--doing up a load of dishes and keeping the noise-levels down! Just right at the moment--and I expect they'll be just as thoughful after my surgery as well.

Work--when I let my co-workers know they'd be doing without me for half the summer all but one were suprised--the one being my supervisor who knew I have been doctoring for two years for anemia and abdominal pain.
She portioned out my job responsibilties and offered them up in a meeting and said--'okay--who is willing to take these on for a few months?'--the guys I worked with grabbed it all up--being 'guys' I think they were caught up in the mystery of being female and want to be helpful and then clear the room! ;-)

I get the occasional question from them relating to my health if I am feeling okay and is there anything I need. One of my interns did mention to me the concerns of HRT as he had read it--so I 'needed to read up on that'--I said I would and thanks for the heads up (smiling inside)--I think I have the right balance at home and work. We'll see what happens after surgery.

TAH/BSO anemia, bleeding steady since January 04
Surgery Date 6/29/04