HysterSisters.com is a massive online community with over 475,000 members and over 5 million posts.
Our community is filled with women who have been through the
Hysterectomy experience providing both advice and support from our active members and moderators.
HysterSisters.com is located at 111 Peter St, Toronto, Canada, M5V2H1 and is part of the VerticalScope network of websites.
With free registration, you can ask and answer questions in our HYSTERECTOMY forum community, get our FREE BOOKLET, access Hysterectomy Checkpoints and more.
You are not alone. The HysterSisters are here for you. Join us today!
|
|
Oh Ouch...Bad Mom
|
06-16-2004, 01:48 PM
|
Guest
|
|
Posts: 223
Hysterectomy: July 2nd, 2004
Ovaries: Removed both
|
|
Oh Ouch...Bad Mom
I think I may have really just messed up. My 5 year old daughter was playing by the computer and I grabbed her and hugged her. I asked her if she new how much I loved her and she said "Yes" I asked how did she know? She said "Cause you love me even when I'm naughty and get in trouble"
This made me smile. I asked her then what she wanted for her birthday this year and she said "A brother or sister"
It felt like someone punched a hole in my stomach. I think I panicked a little she has never said anything like this before and OMG the timing. I told her that I wasn't going to have anymore babies because she was all I ever wanted in a baby.
Did I mess up here? Is she going to be scarred for life by me saying that? Thats putting a lot of pressure on some small shoulders. What on earth do I say to fix it? I don't want her thinking she is to blame for lack of siblings....Do you think she will?I don't know what to tell her and what not to tell her.
I feel rotten. She was so serious in asking for a sibling too....
|
Sponsored Links
|
Advertisement
|
|
|
06-16-2004, 02:20 PM
|
Guest
|
|
Posts: 131
Hysterectomy: June 28th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Undecided
|
|
Oh Ouch...Bad Mom
Don't beat your self up over it...
i don't have children but i don't really see anything wrong with it- i took it as you are telling her that she is perfect and you don't need to keep having children to find that perfection-
It will be OK-
i know that my emotions are all across the board right now- so maybe you are reading more into it than she is?
|
|
06-16-2004, 02:25 PM
|
Guest
|
|
Posts: 46
Hysterectomy: June 29th, 2004
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
|
|
Oh Ouch...Bad Mom
I think you did fine -- I would love to hear an answer like that!
|
Sponsored Links
|
Advertisement
|
|
|
06-16-2004, 02:31 PM
|
Guest
|
|
Posts: 223
Hysterectomy: July 2nd, 2004
Ovaries: Removed both
|
|
Oh Ouch...Bad Mom
I think you aree right. Shes off playing and I'm a wreck. I think she may have just tapped that last lil part of maternal yearning I have stored up locked away and not wanting to deal with.
Maybe it is better I face it now too along with the rest.
I have been so scared for so long of those feelings. 4 Miscarriages taught me not to hope. 1 miracle taught me to believe.
I am so blessed to have her and she is truly a miracle I never asked for any more.
I guess it was always the slightest hint at the suggestion that lightning could strike twice...maybe....that kept those feelings there. Maybe it was never being able to deal with the grief.
I just don't get the connection....why is having a hysterectomy making me think about the babies I lost so many years ago?
Am I just losing it for good?
Amy
|
|
06-16-2004, 02:40 PM
|
Guest
|
|
Posts: 46
Hysterectomy: June 29th, 2004
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
|
|
Oh Ouch...Bad Mom
No, you're not losing it for good -- you're just dealing with something that has been there but locked up inside for a long time. I think the permanence of the hysterectomy is bringing these issues to the forefront. Its probably good to get it out and into the open so you can deal with it instead of keeping it hidden inside.
|
|
06-16-2004, 05:17 PM
|
Guest
|
|
Posts: 166
Hysterectomy: May 20th, 2004
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
|
|
Oh Ouch...Bad Mom
I think what you said to your daughter was simply beautiful.
|
|
06-16-2004, 06:22 PM
|
Guest
|
|
Posts: 198
Hysterectomy: May 13th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
|
|
Oh Ouch...Bad Mom
My Mother had only one child..me..by choice. She always told me the same thing. It made me feel special.
|
|
06-16-2004, 07:46 PM
|
Guest
|
|
Posts: 962
Hysterectomy: July 2nd, 2004
Ovaries: Undecided
|
|
Oh Ouch...Bad Mom
I am in the same boat in many ways. I have one child, a beautiful girl. I never planned on children at all, but she has been a blessing in so many ways. Now here I am, age 38, no partner anywhere in the vicinity, don't wish to have children in my 40's at all- which would be my only option and yet I am mourning the loss of the option to have children. It is, for me, the grief that my choice is being removed, along with my uterus. I know what I need to do, but I am still so sad. Maybe you are just mourning the "what ifs" and "might have beens," which seems totally natural to me. It is a big change, even if it is a necessary one.
Be kind to yourself.
Peace.
|
|
Similar Threads
|
From This Forum |
From Other Forums |
17 Replies, Last Reply 09-18-2006, Started By arizona2001 6 Replies, Last Reply 12-21-2005, Started By miz julieboop 1 Reply, Last Reply 02-20-2005, Started By msdemetrius 4 Replies, Last Reply 01-22-2005, Started By nomaddream 1 Reply, Last Reply 09-09-2004, Started By Barber>GolferSK 18 Replies, Last Reply 04-28-2004, Started By stump411 5 Replies, Last Reply 04-13-2004, Started By suzeeq 7 Replies, Last Reply 06-08-2003, Started By jmjh 10 Replies, Last Reply 10-31-2002, Started By MAP52957 8 Replies, Last Reply 07-30-2002, Started By newkiwi |
2 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy) 15 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy) 6 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy) 0 Reply, Sexual Dysfunction After Hysterectomy 5 Replies, Cancer Concerns - GYN 21 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy) 42 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy) 9 Replies, Hysterectomy Recovery (post hysterectomy) 3 Replies, Hysteritaville General Discussions 3 Replies, No Uterus - No Ovaries - Yes HRT - Surgical Menopause |
|
Advertisement
Hysterectomy News
TODAY'S EVENTS
Calendar -
Hysterectomies -
Birthdays
Request Information
I am a HysterSister
Your Hysterectomy Date
$vbulletin->featuredvideos is not an array!
Advertisement
Advertisement
|