Hysterectomy dates Feb 25-Mar 03,2008

Wow, got taken out for dinner last night how delicious to 'be out' this being my 13th day. I finally got some home help in who was wonderful doing all my vaccuming, washed floors, cleaned the bath/shower and hung out my washing .... how cool is that. I am even doing the 'hospital shuffle' along with the exercise programme on the tv .... my version of course.

I can feel a poem coming on though .... mainly there are a lot of positives but dont you find lots of emotion bubbles up? I do .... and often no idea where it comes from ... so i just cry and include it.

Wow, its lunchtime and i just finished watching a dvd, now checking emails before lunch. How yummy is that! I wont know how to knuckle down at work when i go back.

Having a LOT of pain today....feel quite swollen....and I'm SOOOOOOOO depressed. Just thought I would get it out since I live alone and there's no one to tell it to.

I wish I was feeling better....I think I'm just miserable because of everything.

Sorry for the negativity.

The Good: I have been able to sleep better. Only get up to pee 2-3 times per night instead of every hour and a half! Figured out that prunes help with constipation. My bladder infection is gone.

The Bad: Still have the swelly belly. Gas and bm pains still there.

The Ugly: The lower left side of my abdomen is extremely sensitive and painful. It hurts so much to stand up and walk. It isn't even above my incision, but it hurts worse than the incision itself. Even the weight of a light throw hurts that area. I also have a very ugly large bruise there.

I think once I get past the lower abdominal pain I will feel quite a bit better.

The news that came made my face turn white
I rode the giant waves of shock
And felt the power of grief well up from within
My friend lead me away for the day
…..to adjust

And as the news filtered in
I could see what was real, but was I ready?
Truth is my belly was distended
Truth is I had no energy
Truth is my change of life, needed help!

So skilled careful clinical hands
And the surgeons knife
Took those sacred parts of me.
Those parts in trouble, unhealable
They had to go. How sad.

A new woman Id be!
I would have energy once more,
No more monthly supplies,
Perhaps no more smears …
AND 6 weeks off work.

And yet, it was also sad.
And as the surgeon’s knife cut deep into my body
….. Skilfully…
Now I must hear my pain, with skill also.
I let my feelings bubble up
I let my tears come and I cry buckets

Only sometimes do I know it’s source
I listen deeply and deeper
Until I hear what it is I need to do
What it is I need to forgive
What it is I need to accept

My face crumples in tears
And yet I smile
Alone in my room
While I think of all who love me
And all that I love


And deep, deep inside beyond surgery, beyond pain
I know …..
Its all, all OK
And in time …
It will be all, all OK

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Roboto Leave the fat kitty on the floor. She'll burn more calories if she jumps up to see you -- at least that's what I keep telling mine!

Fat kitty, Leo, initially targeted my belly as his soft landing place when jumping into my lap. After I gasped painfully the first couple of times (sounded somewhat like a hiss to him, I guess), he's finally learned to approach more cautiously so sometimes sits on the floor and makes several tentative moves in my direction and I give in and pick him up - he helps by jumping a little. His sister, though, is clueless. When the two of them get to racing around like lunatics, I have to shield myself with a pillow. Gotta love 'em.

Your dream sounds wild. I hate the falling ones. Hopefully all the clothes that went with you were the ones that were comfortable on your tummy.

I, too, noticed the dreams were wilder on narcotics. I have 2 choices for pain meds. Narcotics or none (maybe a little tylenol, but at some risk). I have a blood clotting disorder that resulted in a blood clot in my leg in November. Now I have to take coumadin to keep my blood from clotting. Aspirin, ibuprofen and the like increase the de-clotting of my blood to the point I run the risk of hemoraghing if I were to take them like I'd like to now. Thankfully the pain is minimal unless I overdo things (like shopping today for 'fat pants').

Rest and happy healing to you.

Hey Jennifer

Ive been keeping a journal. Im alone also. I try to cry alone and write alone, and this saves some positivity for friends who stop by. Be strong. And its ok to feel vulnerable too. Perhaps a chance for us to bring out an inner strength we didnt know we had?

I had my abdominal hysterectomy 2/28 but the dr left both ovaries. I was very anemic after surgery and the dr gave me a transfusion and my hemaglobin level actually went down. the dr thought he would have to go back in. After 3 transfusions I was doing better but i wasn't able to get up. I developed pneumonia and was stuck in the hospital until 3/4. I am doing much better now but still have quite a bit of pain. I also developed an allergic reaction to my antibiotics so I was itchy and sore. needless to say apparently I don't do anything the easy way and i'm just glad to be home and doing better.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by crystalwrists74 Having a LOT of pain today....feel quite swollen....and I'm SOOOOOOOO depressed. Just thought I would get it out since I live alone and there's no one to tell it to. I wish I was feeling better....I think I'm just miserable because of everything. Sorry for the negativity.

Hi Jennifer:

Your post really touched me. I have some experience with depression, so I know how awful it can be when you're in it. I was diagnosed with depression in 1998. I've been taking antidepressants ever since and it's made a tremendous difference. There's color in my life again. I, fortunately, have not had to deal with depression since my surgery. I kept my ovaries which may be the reason, but it was something I feared prior to the surgery. Do you have someone who can come spend some time with you, maybe take you out for a meal or coffee? If it continues, you may want to talk with your doctor about it. Life is for living, not enduring.

Keep checking in with us. I'm sure you are not alone.

Hugs,

Hi all,
Glad to hear that others are doing well with their recovery. Thought I'd add the LSH experience since it's not as popular with the threads so far.
I had my LSH around noon on Mon Mar 3 and stayed one long painful night in hospital - apparently I should have used the morphine pump more often and finally got the hang of it around 1am.
Feeling better in the morning after the catheter was removed, I got up and walked a little and then had a setback when I lost what little breakfast I had eaten.
Fearful of another night in the castle, I resolved to not lose my lunch. Sadly the removal of the morphine pump brought on a nasty headache right after lunch - so I made an ice pack out of desperation. That's right, I made it. Out of ice from my water jug, a facecloth from the nightstand and tape taken from the IV in my hand. And that's how the surgeon found me sound asleep at 3pm - but I had kept my lunch down. I guess my ingenuity was amusing....or he had just had long day in surgery cause he found it pretty funny. With delight I called home to ask for the 40 minute ride home I dreaded...and my DH even arrived with chocolate to make it bearable.
We got home just in time for a snowstorm to shut us in on Wed and it suited my mood fine since I was getting friendly with the Oxycodene. As mentioned by others, the shower I finally had was amazing on Thursday and the BM on Saturday a huge relief - and it's been slow improvement since then. Another storm on Saturday meant few visitors which suited me fine. Sunday dawned with brilliant blue sky and I stuck my nose outside for some fresh air.
I find I can now read and remember what I've read...and talk to people and remember that I have - so I think the haze of anesthesia is wearing off.
Trying to do all the right things like drink water and take stool softeners and walk the laps of my house until some snow melts and I can walk on my front patio.
Best wishes to all for an early spring and a speedy recovery.

Sandra

You are not alone on the depression front. I feel like I have lost footing in my life. I go back to school tonight for however long that will work. I did make a pie. I can't figure the depression out. I just don't feel a part of things in my own life any more. I did no think I swole up until I weighed myself and found I lost 5 lbs and then hurt myself trying to put on my pants! I am just glad the weakness is going away.