bad day

hi sisters
well today is a bad day woke up crying and in pain once again the doc says that i will have to keep taking the horse pills for pain and just wait u know i am scared of whats gonna happen dont like needles and hate not being able to do for myself but i think about the pain and i know this is something i am gonna have to do i found out that there is a tumor on my ovaryies and i have so many fibroids on my uterus that they seem to be making everything lean. the tumor he says that is on my ovarys is very large u know i was feeling better about all this till he went into detail about every thing that is going on in my body then he didnt make it better he said if i dont have it (hysterectomy) that i will spread and i will die so i am not gonna back down i will have the thing done its just that i still blame myself for this if i would have went to the doc like i should have or took better care of myself i wouldnt be in the sit. i am sorry like i said this is a bad day for me and i need to stop cryin so i can see the keyboard i am so greatful to u sisters u seem to be the only ones that know how i feel without me having to put them into words god bless u all and i thank u .
much luv
samantha

((( Samantha ))) I'm sorry that you're in so much pain. I can remember that emotional, very stressful wait when I was still pre op too.

I tried not to dwell on the "what if's ", they really can stress you out. Staying busy helped me a lot. My house was soooo clean, I straightened closets and drawers that had not been touched for a long time

Hang in there, I'll pray that all goes well for you.

S

This site is wonderfull. I hope that You have some peace of mind.
I will Pray that You do. It is such a scary situation . Try to focus on the positive and that You will be on the healing side before You know it. Dont blame Yourself. Use the energy to heal Yourself. In the end You went to the Dr and are having it taken care of. When you need to vent We will be here. Good luck and be well
Cekticd

Hey Samantha ~
You know what...... don't beat yourself up, Sweetgirl ~ you did NOTHING to cause the problems that you are dealing with !! Those tumors & cysts and creepy things that attack our insides....well they just happen.... and we don't do anything to cause them or make them happen.... they just do & it just stinks, I know!! So, just because you may have not gone to the doctor for a period of time.... or anything like that..... doesn't mean you caused those things to happen inside your body!! Actually...... you should give yourself a big pat on the back for getting yourself to the doctor & getting the ball rolling.... as far as planning to get those issues taken care of!! YOU have taken that first HUGE step.... and you are facing it now..... and you WILL get through it all just fine!!!

I know the pre-op part is scary & it's SOOOOO true.... the "waiting" is the hardest part!!! I'm am serious.... it really really is!!! It's so easy... and it's SO normal... to let our minds play games with us before our surgeries.... I know I did!! But.... hysterectomies are the 2nd most common surgeries in women.... (not sure what the 1st one is??) and our doctors are PRO'S at doing these surgeries!! When your day comes up, it will go SO quickly...it really will. Before you know it.... you'll be waking up and it will be done & you'll be on the other side..... in "Uterless" land!! THEN you can just concentrate on healing & pampering yourself & moving on with your life.

Please believe me.... the waiting for the actual day IS the hardest part!!! For now, be gentle with yourself & try to find things to do, as you wait, that are calming and soothing to you. Find some good books to get lost in..... spend time doing things that you love... and RELAX!!!

You will be in my thoughts and prayers ~ Hang in there!!!

Hugs!
Kim K.

Just hang in there. This is a very difficult time for you. But we all are hoping and praying for you that you come out on the other side stronger and better than ever. Take this time as your time to get to know things about yourself you never knew. This is a journey that you are about to embark on that you have never walked before, but you are not going alone. We are all here for you and with you. Write whenever you can, there will always be someone here to listen and understand. God Bless you and keep you in his loving arms- Cath

((((Samantha)))) 's to you!!! I am scheduled for feb 27th and I too have been a bit weepy. Infact my DH and DD have been teasing me about it. I believe we overthink the what-ifs and that scares us more tha the actual surgery. I am trying to put myself into God's hands and to stay relaxed. My secret is to go for a walk when I start to feel a little nervous, my dogs are loving me for it. LOL!!!

Like KimberlyK said our minds play games with us. I just have to believe that it will be worth it when I don't have pain 3 1/2 weeks/month or 2+ periods/month to worry about. We are so fortunate to have a site like this filled with women going through the very same thing we are, who are compassionate and caring. Husbands are wonderful but they can't understand the emotional aspects of this surgery like other women can.

I'll keep you in my prayers. It will get better!!!

's

Hey Samantha
My hyst is also scheduled for March 7th. Try and keep up your spirits.
Remember that once the surgery is done and the healing begins you will forever be done with your pain. All of the doctors and nurses in charge of your care also only want the best for you. I too am scared of the unknown. I do try to focus on the positive each day. I hope like the rest of the world we will be able to look back at this and say, a hyst no big deal. ( Ya Right !!! ) Best wishes for a smooth surgery.

thank u all so very much there are no words to tell u how very good it feels to know that ur not alone today was one of those days i could have taken everything out myself(the pain) altho i am still crying from time to time if it will stop the pain i will throw myself a hyst part(smile)

Samantha,
I too, took the long road of not seeing a gyno for several years and am feeling the same guilt - I did it to myself. But, I have a very good support group who does not blame me. We deal with what we have to deal with and get through it - do not beat yourself up... we made a choice and now we deal with the outcome....

Hi Samantha - I am so sorry you are feeling so bad! I too should have sorted this out earlier but I can't even watch anyone being injected or cut on the telly let alone have it done to me! I felt just as you do now when I finally admitted to myself they were right I needed it, everything was just getting worse and that I couldn't stand to feel pain so unbearable and live on iron tablets for the rest of my life. I am too busy to be laying at home crying in pain and flooding in the supermarket, doubled up driving to work, it's just no life. Please don't blame yourself my gyn told me it is our ovaries that cause the problems. They go haywire and produce too much oestrogen and this feeds fibroids. I think we all have to come to terms with it and it's no good trying to blame yourself for trying alternatives or believing at the time that you can cope. It is natural no-one goes ahead with this unless it is absolutely neccesary.
If it's any help I also had a large tumour on my ovary about 14 years ago and was prepared for the worst but luckily it was just a cyst so please don't panic. Try to be positive we soon will have those smooth flat stomachs we have dreamed about and will once again be pain free - yipee can't wait! Sending you a big hug and look after yourself. xx