I think I'm afraid

Hi.
I'm really new to all of this. I was diagnosed with endo about 5 years ago, had 1 tube and 1 ovary taken out then. Been on Lupron, had the other tube taken out.

Now I have a large cyst on my other ovary extensive adhesions and my CA-125 test is 87 and i'm scheduled for an onocolgist on Friday to set up my Hysterectomy.

I don't want to be afraid, I want to handle this like a big girl. But it really is depressing I'm single, no children and now no chance of them. And I wonder if any man will want to have a relationship with me?

I feel alone.

Thanks
Diane

Big s Diane!

You are NOT alone hon....there are many women who have faced similar experiences as you and I am sure they will be here soon to share with you.

Please know that we are not women because of our ability to bear children or not. We have hearts, souls and minds and those are what makes us who we are. If children was a desire of yours and hysterectomy is a certainty, then I offer you my prayers that you will be able to come to terms with this change in your life. Sometimes it is losing the choices that are most difficult. There are many men as well who would choose not to have children and I believe you have the ability to find a man who will share that and many other things in common with you.

This is a great place to meet up with other women of like circumstances and find the support you need during this time of worries and unknowns. Read lots of posts, do some searches on key issues for you and keep posting when you need to. Try to get as much information on your particular concerns, keep a list of questions for your doctor and you will find that getting informed can go a long way to helping us feel like we have gained some control back in what is happening.

All the best to you. Please let us know how you are doing.

Oh Diane, I do feel for you! I never had any children either and it REALLY bothered me. In fact, my infertility prevented some fine relationships from blossoming as I did not want to 'deny' my partner. I understand that we have wombs and are MEANT to bear children, that is a true intuition for most of us.

I joined http://www.resolve.org years ago to come to grips with the emotional effects of infertility. It REALLY helped me.

I am 46 now (47 in April) and got married 4years ago (this June) to a wonderfully supportive man who loves ME, and I love HIM. He has a son from a first marriage that he had custody of when we married, so he gets to be the lucky recipeint of my maternal instinct , lucky boy!! He is away at college now but I honestly MISS him. I never experienced being part of a family nucleus.

Moral of the story: your future is not destined as a result of this. Don't feel you are denying anyone ANYTHING, love is what we seek and kids can sustain it, or interrupt it.

I have no doubt that YOU have a lot to bring to a relationship. Believe in yourself, your depth, your spirituality and your sexuality. There waits a man that will be so happy to find you, as my husband was happy to find me. He proposed after 9 months of dating and we married 5 months later. Yes, we grew to know each other within the bounds of marriage but it has been WONDERFUL!!

Good luck.....and don't let the issue of child bearing control your future!

's
Bev

Most of the men that I dated (and the one I married) had a VASECTOMY long before they met me!!!!!!!!

Don't make assumptions!!

Bev

Diane, Being afraid is okay. There are wonderful things to come for you, that I'm sure of. This is YOUR life, if there is an oncologist being consulted, the immediate concern is for you and your health. My heart goes out to you. TerrySue

{{{{Diane}}}}

Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry you're feeling askeered!

Try to focus on your health at this point; really anything else is not near as important. I'm really sorry you're feeling down about having children. I was never blessed with that, either. But there are so many other blessings in our lives, if you think about it.

We are holding your hand in spirit as you make this journey; we are here for you. We want you to let us know how things progress for you. We will be here.

Love n Hugs!

Just wanted to throw in a couple of my own

As disappointed as you are right now in not being able to bear your own biological children, that does not mean children are not in your future. There are thousands of children out there looking for a mother who has as much love to give as you do. That may be adoption or it could be children of a potential spouse who are searching some love, affection and consistancy in their lives.

Concentrate now on getting better. You will need your health before you are able to take on anything else. Once you get that all in order, then start looking for you "Mr. Wonderful". If he is truly that, he won't care one bit about your reproductive organs but about the heart that beats strongly in your chest.

Love and prayers to you!

You will be just as attractive to men as always ... just as in any serious relationship, discussions of children need to be brought up. Remember, no matter what, the man who is right for you will love you for who you are as you'll love him for who he is. A man who doesn't or cannot is not the man for you - it's really that simple. Relax, love yourself a whole lot, and take care of your health. We're all here for you.

Hi Diane, I am sending positive thoughts your way and I wonder how you are feeling now? I suppose with the emotional depth of what you are going through there may be little comfort, but there IS the other side of this and life really is wonderful. You are never really alone...we are surrounded by 's and God is our benefactor!

:

Hi Diane, you're not alone! Probably most of us have had at least fleeting thoughts about whether someone would still want us after our surgery. I am divorced with 2 kids and a BF who, before now, didn't even want to know anything about whether I had my period, saying "that's girl stuff, I don't want to know anything about it"...
I was really afraid to tell him about the surgery but when I finally did, all he said was "honey, as long as you're going to be OK that's all that matters". It opened up a lot of communication between us and gave him an opportunity to show me how supportive he can be, and we are closer than ever now (my surgery was 2/4). :inlove:
There are plenty of good men out there who will want you for who you are and not what you can give them (including children)...even though sometimes it seems like they do a pretty good job of hiding from us! One will find you, you'll see. Focus on making sure you'll be healthy and ready when he does. Good luck and lots of



- Linda