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Concerned Husband Concerned Husband

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Unread 05-13-2002, 09:15 AM
Concerned Husband

First time to do this so please bear with me. My wife is scheduled for her hyster this coming Friday (05/17) - they will be leaving the ovaries. She is very quiet and generally does not ask too many questions. She is just shy of 42 and is very good physical shape. We are scheduled to go out of town on the 30th for a vacation in Cancun - her doctor has told her that this will not be a problem. My questions are:
1. Is this true or just wishful thinking ?
2. What is the real recovery period for this type of hyster ?
3. What should I be prepared for for her post-op recovery period ?

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Unread 05-13-2002, 09:52 AM
Concerned Husband

I think the doctor is being optimistic. At best, your wife would probably be exhausted and uncomfortable during your trip. At two weeks into my recovery I ventured out to see a movie with my husband, and that was quite enough of an adventure for me. I consider that I was healthy and fit overall, and had a pretty easy, uncomplicated recovery - but at two weeks sitting on the couch talking to my grandma-in-law was an effort.

An average sort of recovery period is about 6-8 weeks. Depends on the way the surgery is done, what-all is being removed or repaired, and each individual's tolerance of pain and their healing capacity.

What to expect during her recovery...

Well, I found I felt pretty good overall, with not-too-much pain. I was wiped out, but not miserable. I did have pains (intestinal/bladder, mostly) that I compare to hitting one's shin on a table - stops you in your tracks and requires a bit of cussing, but it passes pretty quickly.

Your wife will need *rest* - like feet-up, not having to do anything, relaxed *rest*. She should not be making meals, doing laundry, reaching, stooping, lifting, bending... even sitting up is hard for a while.

She will need good food (fruits, veggies, whole grains, bran, prune juice, fish, chicken - things that are non-gassy and non-constipating), avoid greasy foods, beans, broccoli, cabbage, carbonated beverages, cheese, and white bread. Lots of fluids.

She may need help showering and/or washing her hair. She may need help getting up and down. She won't be able to yell for help (yelling uses ab muscles), so check on her often. I got "stuck" between a couple of pillows in bed - talk about feeling helpless!

She may be strangely emotional. I am usually very even-tempered, but still felt tearful or just P.O.ed sometimes - worse if I was tired. Don't panic if you find her weeping at long distance commercials on TV - it will pass. Pain was worse when I was tired, too.

She may feel good, and ambitious at times, then crash suddenly - tiredness hits you really quick (eyes slamming shut). Walking generally helps everything. I did laps around my driveway, which was great 'cause I didn't have far to go to get back home.

Getting outdoors is great - I did some of my "resting" on a beach towel on the lawn - she doesn't have to be cooped up in a "sick room". If the weather is nice where you are a chaise lounge for the porch might be a great hyst-gift. No reason she should be isolated, either. Seeing friends can be uplifting. We had two parties during the first two weeks of my recovery. I enjoyed the company, food, and music, from the couch, in my P.J.s (and escaped to take naps a few times), but I did not lift a finger to get ready or clean up.

The best thing my hubby did for me was to take care of my horse and donkeys. He took really good care of them. I *never* had to remind him to go out and feed, and I never worried that they might be out of water, etc. He even cleaned their pen - way above and beyond the call of duty. That was such a huge load off my mind. If there is something like that with your wife - maybe watering her prize begonias, or not letting the dishes pile up, or whatever she frets over, you will win major brownie points for "just handling it".

She should not be driving, or especially pushing a shopping cart (very hard on the abs!) for quite a while.

"Brain fog" is really common! She might flat out forget things, or do stupid stuff like put the milk in the cupboard. Pretty normal. Don't panic. Writing things down might help her. I know I told friends I'd call them back, or told clients I'd take care of something for them, and that was the last I thought of it. It took a long time for that to clear up.

I was released to resume all activities at 4 weeks (carefully, of course), but that's pretty early. It was reallly 6-8 weeks to start regaining my strength, and I was still feeling the effects at 12 weeks. By 6 months I was at about 95%, and 100% by one year. Sex was kinda ouchy and awkward at first, but got lots better with time - don't worry if everything isn't perfect at 6 weeks.

That's all I can think of... Go to the main page of this site, and look near the bottom. One of the pull-downs has some tips for caring for a newly "punctured princess". Reading a bunch of the other stories there might be helpful to both of you.

Best of luck, and good for you for taking good care of her.
Unread 05-13-2002, 11:36 AM
Concerned Husband

Hi, Swestfall! Thank you for supporting your wife and searching out information for her. Here is a link to one doctor's expectations for recovery from a hyst. I would be sure to talk over with her dr about the advisability of going on vacation so soon after her surgery. Most of us needed 6-8 weeks of rest or light activity before going back to normal routines.

As this is a woman-to-woman site, we would encourage your wife to come post her questions here and read all she can here. Perhaps you can assist her in doing this? You also could purchase the Hyster Sister book from the "Store" if you would like to read for yourself. Best wishes to your wife!
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Unread 05-13-2002, 01:09 PM

Hi Swestfall,

I can see from the previous posts that you're getting some good information relative to recovery expectations. I just had to post to commend you on your support for your wife. Giant Kudos to you!

Its nice to see a husband that is so supportive of his wife to venture onto a women-to-women site about such a subject matter.

My husband was very supportive of me but somewhat intimidated by this website until I showed him some of the posts.

You're a good husband to do this for your wife.
Unread 05-13-2002, 02:01 PM
Concerned Husband

Swestfall, hi and welcome. I sent you a short email via this site, if you have anything to ask, message me here, I'll help in any way I can.

Unread 05-13-2002, 03:39 PM
Concerned Husband

Hi, Swestfall,

I think it's wonderful when husbands are supportive of their wives. My husband, too was supportive, and that made my surgery and recovery a little easier.

I must be honest with you, however. I am speaking only for myself, but other women may relate to what I'm about to say.

Hystersisters is a woman-helping-woman website. I don't mind discussing my intimate female problems with other women, but I am uncomfortable discussing them with men I don't know. When you think about it, would you want your wife to discuss her GYN problems with a strange man?

I strongly encourage you to introduce your wife to Hystersisters. We would love to hear from her. She is most welcome here.

I shared information from Hystersisters with my husband, before and after my surgery, and some of the info was helpful for him. He didn't want to visit this website himself, and I can understand why.

Other women may also feel uncomfortable discussing their medical problems with a man they don't know. I would ask that you be sensitive to the personal, intimate, female nature of this website, and allow your wife to post here. While it's important for men to support their women, too, this is a woman's website.

Best wishes,
Unread 05-13-2002, 03:50 PM
Concerned Husband

Congrats on being so supportive of what you wife is going to be going through. I am 4 wks post of and no way would I have been able to vacation in Mexico at a couple of weeks. I still get really tired really easy. To help your wife through recovery, plan on doing and doing and doing for her. My good hubby even held my stomach so I could sneeze because it hurt so much. He tied my shoes, shaved my legs and helped pull me out of chairs. He is still very protective of me because he knows (through my providing him with knowledge acquired through this wonderful site) that 6-8 weeks is normal recovery time but that "healing" can take up to 6 months. Again, plan on working overtime at home to help her with get through this physically and emotionally. I too encourage you get her on this site. I makes a BIG difference emotionally. Good luck to both of you.
Unread 05-13-2002, 06:08 PM
Concerned Husband

Ok-I have to say this...then I will go back to my corner. And I mean no offense to anyone!
Here is a man who cares enough to really want to support his wife,...hoping for help and a way to understnad,....and here we sit worried as to whether or not we discuss our female issues with him!
If you don't want to, don't respond. That simple. Yes it is a woman helping women website. Yes it has been a God-send to me for almost two years now. And yes I wish to God we had a place where our husband's could ask these questions without getting comments. And Where does it say a man CAN NOT post?
Is that not descrimination that we women screamed loudly at men for years about? And still do at times?
The human body is nothing to be ashamed of. And if we can't get past that then women in general are going to go back centuries!
We have worked too hard for that!
There is no where else they can go....what to do? Please anyone out there?
I for one, will discuss anything with anyone. Life is natural and so is my body and everyone else's. This is not to put down those that feel differently! This is to merely suggest that a littel of the understnading we recieve here should be allowed to be passed on to those in need. Rarely do we get any men through here. Please do not chase them away. Encourage them to include their wife, but please this is happening as much to them as it is to us.
My dh was so involved in my decision and recovery. It became our recovery and drew us closer!
SWESTFALL- You may contact me anytime. I will answer any questions I can. It looks like you have rec'd some good answers here. But know that your wife or you can write anytime, even if it is merely to say---what is next? God's Blessings to all....Now, I am expecting letters and comments galore! Oh well!~ Still luv you! That is what makes us all who we are!
Unread 05-13-2002, 06:38 PM
Concerned Husband

Hi, Joyneau,

When I posted my reply, which is again, my personal opinion, I was referring to this section of the Website Guidelines, to which we all agreed when we became members of Hystersisters:

"These features of the Hyster Sisters(tm) website are intended to be a "Women helping Women" website. Men's posts may be removed or closed in keeping with the boundaries of To make it easy, we ask that men not register."

Once again, I am pleased by Swestfall's interest, but he is a man and this is a woman helping woman website, for which men are requested not to register.

Best wishes,
Unread 05-13-2002, 07:54 PM
Concerned Husband

I agree with Peanut completely!!!


You sound like a very caring and supportive husband.
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