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Unread 01-26-2002, 10:48 AM

Ever since i started talking more about the healing of a TAH/BSO everyone seems to think I am a whimp.
My sister who had major back surgery (through her stomach) says that Im making a big deal out of nothing. She has a high tolerance of pain I do not. Why cant some just understand that others cant tolerate pain. Ive always admitted to being a whimp but it is really getting to me. My surgery is Monday and now I would rather tell everyone to leave me by myself so that dont have to see the whimp! My husband has been real good but when my sister starts he adds to it which in turns hurts my feelings. I am really trying to put all this childish feelings aside but sometimes it is really hard.
Well I guess I just needed to let it out and Im sorry.

Thanks for listening
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Unread 01-26-2002, 10:55 AM

Don't you be sorry for your feelings!!! You are entitled to feel this way, and you are so right!! Everyone does have a different tolerance to pain, and you and you sister are different. Thats it plain and simple.

Have you told them that this really bothers you and that you have enough on your mind without having to deal with this? That may halp JB. Perhaps they just are not aware how this is hurting your feelings.

All the best to you, and I am sure you will do just fine!!
Unread 01-26-2002, 11:19 AM
your feelings are valid!

J.B. honey, you don't have to justify your feelings to anyone at any time. Each individual is different,and each person is entitled to their own feelings! It will be really great for you in preparing for your surgery if you can just let it all hang out - on this wonderful website, with friends, with anyone who will not judge you! Get your feelings out, and don't let anyone else's judgment of you confuse you. You are a precious individual, and other people's experiences may have very little to do with what you're going through. The most important thing is for you to able to vent whenever you need to, and to get the support you need. We are here for you!

Take care -

- Flo
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Unread 01-26-2002, 11:28 AM

I know what you're feeling! I'm so sorry that she's being like this. For the time being, you may just want to steer clear of anyone that can't be sensitive to your feelings or try to be helpful. This is what I'm doing now. This whole pre-op thing is hard enough and the last thing you need is to hear how "heroic" you should be or how someone else feels about the way you should handle your feelings! Feelings are yours and yours alone. Only share them with people who you know will be supportive of you and tell the others to "bug-off".

Big "hug:s for you!!!!!!!!!

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