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Unread 04-04-2002, 06:07 PM
pretty scared

Hi everyone, You will have to forgive me if I do everything wrong - I am brand new to this site and to the whole forum thing. Anyway, I am scheduled for a total hysterectomy on May 10. I have had an awful time for the last year with dysfunctional uterine bleeding. I didn't feel like I could leave work for lunch to go out to eat because it was too far from a rest room. I struggled with the decision but after a lot of thought and discussion with my wonderful husband (I am so lucky to have him), I have scheduled the surgery. One of my greatest fears is that I will lose my desire for sex. I am 45 but have only been married two years. As I said, my husband is wonderful and he just wants me to feel better - it has upset him so badly to see me feel rotten all the time. And as silly as it sounds I feel like this is all my fault because I am overweight. I feel like if I had done more to try and keep my weight under control maybe this wouldn't have happened. I also feel like I am ruining our lives. Now my brain knows this isn't true - he would love me if I couldn't fit through the door and we never had sex again. I will be taking hormone replacement therapy and I think that is supposed to help. I was okay with losing uterus, ovaries, and tubes but freaked out a little when they said the cervix was going also. So you guys who have been here - I would appreciate your help. Thanks much (Sorry if I rambled a bit - got pretty upset writing everything down)
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Unread 04-04-2002, 06:29 PM
Don't worry

Hi Selina

I certainly don't miss my cervix at all. Can't tell one bit when it comes to sex. I'm going to be 36 this month. In fact I think sex is even better. My cervix was just causing the uterus and ovaries to hurt more during sex. All that pushing causing things to really hurt. Hope this helps. I had my surgery 11-07-01.


Unread 04-04-2002, 06:37 PM
pretty scared

s Selina!
Hang in there are doing just great! I had my hyst at age 45 and my cervix went as well. I am 5 months post hyst now and I have not noticed a difference because it's gone. I assume you are referring to sex? I think you will hear stories from both sides on this one though. I always feel that instead of missing what you had, you should look at what you have and find the joy in that...the same goes for your body post hyst! Who knows? It could even be better!! For many women it is. All the best to you!
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Unread 04-04-2002, 11:59 PM

Hi, Selina! Welcome to HysterSisters--the best site for support and comfort and info! Glad you found us and figured out how to post! I had no idea when I first started, and had to have a lot of help from my dh (darling husband)! Rest assured that you did nothing to cause your dysfunctional bleeding. We have little control over how the uterus and ovaries do their thing! You'll see many threads here from women who have suffered abnormal bleeding and pain for years. As far as sex, most sisters here say it is the same or even better after a hyst. The cervix is the lower part of the uterus that hangs down into the vagina (not a separate organ). I think mine was just in the way, and I don't miss it at all, either. I feel great 9 months after my hyst, and Estrace is working good for me. You probably will want your dr to examine your ovaries during surgery to see if they are healthy. Then he/she can decide if you can keep them or if they need to be removed. Read all you can here, including the pull-down menus on the home page. You can also go up to the top of the page to "search" and type in a subject you're interesting in reading about to find past threads on it. Feel free to post questions and comments here, and we'll try to help. s and best wishes!
Unread 04-05-2002, 02:05 AM

Hugs, Mate you will do just fine hun. Yes your sex drive will come back and please do not feel guilty for your weight. I doubt that it would have made your periods and problems any less.
Sounds like you have a great hubby and mate that is really good to know that he is there for you.
Just think not long to go and you will be period free, imagine that??? I found it hard to get used to not having one each month but it is truely awesome. good luck and keep us oposted. hugs Vicki
Unread 04-05-2002, 05:30 AM
pretty scared

Do not blame yourself!! As far as I know, weight is not a did not say what you have? I have adenomyosis and am not overweight...well, was not until the could stand to lose 10 lbs...BUT my step daughter has stage I endo and she is 105 lbs soaking wet!! You are very lucky to have such a wonderful DH....mine is great...but doesn't like to discuss my "surgery"...which is what leads me here every day!! His big concern was my "sex drive" and I posted a few days ago on that, you can look at that posting and see the is under "please ease my husbands mind" sex drive has been going down hill for many many months due to the pain and bleeding during and after it...I just cannot wait to have a pain free life!! This site is wonderful and you will get sooo much information and support here!!
Unread 04-05-2002, 05:55 AM
pretty scared

Hello Selina,

I was going threw the same decision on wether to keep my cervix or not, my doctor told me to go online to various sites and read up on it, and this is when I found the Hyster sisters, and really recieved alot of info.

On the message board you will find FYI message with helpful links. And they have alot of information. But I am leaning towards not keeping my cervix, the more I read up on it.

My doctor also told me that they take the ligaments or vaginal wall to close up and make a nodule to basically imitate a cervix, but he said there really isn't necessary to keep it. He had also said that there are stories out there that it sexually stimulates women and that was all something new to him, but hearing straight from women that have had it removed I hear other wise, all I have heard that there are stories out there, nothing specific.

Ask your doctor, and talk with him about it and also go on the web and read up, it has helped my decision. Plus I am going to go over it again when I see my doctor, now that I have read up on it.

Unread 04-05-2002, 02:28 PM

Thanks to all of you so much for your responses to my first post. I have just come back from the "regular" doctor today and have pneumonia. It at least keeps my mind off the hysterectomy!! I don't know all the technical terms but my hysterectomy is because I have completely out of control bleeding that doesn't respond to medication. My uterus is also very large. I just can't deal with the nonstop bleeding and pain anymore. My wonderful husband just wants me to feel better but I can see so much worry and concern in his face. Don't know what I would do without him.
Even though I can talk so easily to him, it means so much to be able to "talk" to other women who have been through the same thing. I am feeling a lot less apprehensive and a lot more positive than I have been. Of course, that is all apt to change at the drop of a hat! I can't believe how emotional I have become. It has been bad for a while but since I have actually scheduled the surgery I seem to cry over anything. I sat here last night reading the responses to my post with tears streaming down my face.
Thanks again for all of your kind words and encouragement. Will probably be off line for a couple of days to recover from the pneumonia but will talk to you again next week.
Thanks again and love to all !
Unread 04-05-2002, 05:27 PM
Be good to yourself !

I'm schedule for surgery April 18th; and will be keeping my cervix. anyway can your dr. keep it in?

I feel confident that our sex life with or without cervix or whatever might be missing will be mucho better than before. NO periods!!! no pain -- once we are healed up it will be like we where 20. I'm 45, no kids, married 4 years.

I went back to weight watchers to drop a few extra lbs and already feel better about myself. Rumor has it after surgery there is weight gain. I'm concerned about being bored during recovery, watching the cooking channel and heading to the kitchen. Anyway, you mentioned weight so maybe taking off a few lbs right now would make you feel better. I also plan to get a pedicure/manicure, and take the gray out of my hair right before surgery. I just bought some baggy drawstring pants and one of those bed pillows so you can sit up in bed. I'm preparing my little recovery nest.

Do special things for yourself you are worth it!
Unread 04-05-2002, 05:31 PM
pretty scared

Get better Selina!

I will let you know in 10 days if I can tell a difference.


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