I think I need a hysterectomy, but am so scared to pull the trigger.

I've struggled with one menacing fibroid for nearly five years. 2017 was the worst with three hemorrhaging days at the end of April that landed me in the hospital, two blood transfusions and the choice between a hysterectomy or uterine artery embolization. I chose the latter (which ultimately did NOT change the size of my fibroid one bit) because I was freaked out. Since then, my cycle hasn't been a cycle and I have the uterus of a 14-week pregnant woman. I've bled insanely with no rhyme or reason with many heavy, blood-clot filled days sitting on the toilet (I'm often anemic and constantly pound iron pills).There have been only a handful of days the last two months where something hasn't come out of my vagina. I'm miserable. Obviously, I have to do something because I'm miserable, angry all the time (soooo not me) and unhappy. I want my life back!
I've tried pills, acupuncture, oils, had the embolization, plus seen three recommended doctors who tell me it's just my 8 cm intramural fibroid causing this hell. The last doctor suggested talking to an expert in embolization since mine was done by essentially someone inexperienced. It's really just that option, the hormone injections, a myomectomy or hysterectomy. How much more should I endure? My way of life is not normal, I can't go anywhere or focus on anything except where the nearest bathroom is. My pockets and bags are stuffed with pads (tampons will never do the trick). I'm trying to convince myself that a hysterectomy is the best option because I feel trapped. I'm reading forums here, talking to doctors and knowledgeable friends, but I'm still scared, no terrified, to pull the trigger. Reading some things here scare me. I'm 38, single, don't want kids, so that's not the issue.
I'm very active (marathon runner and weight lifter, softball player), love to travel and am in various music ensembles. Why I'm afraid: taking all that time off (I don't rest often), potential complications, infections, setbacks, permanent problems as a result, pain, not being able to get back to my active lifestyle. I don't like to take aspirin for crying out loud and choose to be as healthy and natural as possible, but my fibroid is having none of it. But then I think about not being constantly anxious about the insane bleeding and having a normal life, and I feel a huge sense of relief and hope.
Am I overthinking this? If I do it, do I research for the best surgeon around? How do I get to a peaceful state of mind with this decision?
I know this is long, but I've been struggling so long and am so distraught. Thanks for any input.

I understand. I had a fibroid the size of a grapefruit sitting on my tailbone. The bleeding was insane. For me, I just got fed up with it .I wanted my life back!! I had a hysterectomy in August and haven't looked back. My recovery was a piece of cake. I stayed one night in the hospital. Once released to go home no drugs were needed. Actually, I couldn't even tell I had surgery! Everything was removed but my ovaries. No issues with hot flashes. No HRT needed. My scars are barely noticeable. I was back to work at two weeks. Whatever you decided, we are here to help.

Best wishes!

if you decide on surgery, you might want to look into an LSH. not all surgeons can do them. it is the removal of just the uterus. you keep your cervix (no vaginal cuff to heal) and ovaries. i had one 11 years ago and it's been great!e

Or get re-embolized by an experienced IR. It doesn’t sound like yours was done right because an intramural fibroid should not be bleeding this much. Submucosal fibroids will bleed like the dickens for up to 6 months after embolization but typically not intramural fibroids. I was told my embolization would take an hour but it took two plus twice the bottles of particles because I had multiple blood lines feeding the fibroid. One thing I have learned in dealing with my fibroid is to go to the highest rated expert available. I don’t allow a PA or inexperienced doctor to touch me. This is especially important if you choose myomectomy. Go for the best always. My 9 cm intramural fibroid has shrunk to virtually nothing and my bleeding stopped immediately. This is what should have happened.

Well that's encouraging, sisterduke. I see the expert IR tomorrow for his opinion. We'll see what he says! Thanks.
And thanks for the other replies as well.