Don't want to sound ungrateful but...

My hyst is scheduled for this Monday. My hubby and I have a set of friends that we're very close with but I just have a feeling that I'm really not going to want visitors during my castle stay. HOW can I get it across to them that it's not personal...I just don't think I'm going to be up for company. This will be my first hospital stay/surgery ever and I just don't know how I'll feel. I don't want to sound ungrateful because I know they care about me. Is anyone else dealing with this?

I did - my mother pestered for the hospital address and phone number but I said straight out that I'd prefer not to be disturbed. Could you say that you'll call them as soon as you feel up for visits?

Hello. You might try asking your friends to bring dinner over or to pick up some magazines for you instead. Tell them you will be bored stiff in about a week or so and would love their company! They will understand. Good Luck.

I asked my husband to let everyone know that I did not want visitors right away and that I would call when I did. I also tried not to sound ungrateful for the company but just getting out of surgery and wearing off the anesthesia, taking pain meds, big ol' catheter bag hanging there, I really did not want to have to "entertain" anyone. When someone would call I would ask if they would please come visit me at home when I get home, I will be much better company and they all accepted that fine. I told them I was just really tired and wanted to sleep while I had the chance. Let us know how things go on Monday.

well, luckily, my family knows how I get when i am ill so they will be steering very clear of me until i ask them to come. As far as other people go, I have just been as honest as I can be. I had to cancel a trip to San Fran to see an old friend of mine that I haven't seen in years in order to schedule my hyst. she called yesterday to "surprise" me with her tickets down here the day after my surgery. WH WH WH WHAT?!?! I had to tell her, please save them for a later date. I will just not be up to it. Aside from that, I have appointed my hubby as head bouncer. he will inform his over exuberant family to steer clear as well. Heck, i don't even have him taking that week off of work...he took 10 days from the day I come home so he can take care of the princess (thats me). so, as far as i am concerned, I am going to sleep, sleep and more sleep in the hospital. Good Luck and keep us posted.

Just be honest and say what you said in your post. It's great. I think anyone would get it unless they were horribly insensitive. Friends will understand. Good luck with your surgery. I had guests in the hospital and I was grateful for them, but they didn't stay long. I think I looked pretty wrecked the day of surgery, but hey this is no beauty contest. Hugs to you.

I'm with you -- ack. Who wants to "entertain" in the ??

I would also take the honest approach. Say very sincerely that you'd love to have them check in on you -- about a week after you get home. They can come over with a simple meal, walk the dog, do some laundry... you get the idea. That's really what you need -- not another bouquet of carnations to lug home in the car.

Hope this works. You can also say that your doctor has specified you shouldn't have any visitors or phone calls. I promise -- it's OK to lie just this once. We won't tell.

My kids came to see me right after surgery. I don't remember much of the visit and I ended up falling asleep so they left. The phone rang a few times - my mother and sisters calling me - and I don't really remember talking to them. The next day I had to ask if I had talked to them. They laughed and said I was out of it when they called and talked to me.

One thing I do remember is my son laughing at me before they left. I must have been saying funny things. I really didn't mind them being there because I had no clue what I was doing. I didn't feel like I had to entertain them - I just passed out on them.

I told people in advance I really would NOT be up to company in the hospital(it also helped that the hospital I was in was 80 miles away from my home town ) I also told people when they called right after I got home whether I was up to talking or not...............sometimes you just have to be blunt with people ,tactful!!! but blunt!!!! remember this is YOUR recovery time and you have evry right to do what you feel is right for YOU....and not feel gulity about it......... `s and best wishes as you prepare for the