LAVH: Am I the only one thinking of things this is going to interfere with? (kids mention)

You ladies are so wonderful and make me realize that all the worries are just worries and everything will work out in the end.

I love the way you all have looked at it. Yes, a lifetime of feeling good and yes I am very blessed that it is not an emergency surgery. If it is only 6 weeks that allows me to be around for a life time without the worries of all the pain, bleeding and poking at me then I am ready!!! I can do it, because I am a strong woman that can make it thru anything!!

Cheers to all of you and to our "new" healthy bodies!!

good evening ladies i'm 43, 3 sons 23,20,19, all grown have there own lives. i live in carl junction mo, next to joplin mo. my surgery is tomorrow at 2pm. my doctor is great he is going to do laphyst, antererior/posterior repair plus xengraft posterior. needles to say i'm pretty messed up down below. will be off 6 to 8 wks with pay. my job is safe due to the fact my dear boyfriend planned everything since 11/05/08 that was my orginall date. duw to finances we couldn't do it then. well now its here i've had 6 months to cry, research all options, most of all was scared to death up until this past friday. i got on here did some reading about hyst check-points. did all of it. heck got all shopping done, house cleaning, launry done by 11am this morning. it took 2 1/2 days cause i get tired real easy am in lots of pain most of the time. what made me stop feeling sorry for myself was this site all the wonderfull brave women on here. then by boyfriend got on here was doing his own research to make sure i didn't miss anything. he liked the do's and don't's after the surgery. i drove him crazy for the past 3 days with no crying just happy camper. then when he asked me why i was so happy i said i'm not alone anymore, i want my life back. i even packed my 4 1/2 month old kitten food in zip lock baggys all measured out for him to feed him while i'm gone.i can't tell all of you enough how it feels to be free want so much to be normal again. having you all, your stories has helped me out seriuosly about 2 months ago i was close thinking of not being here anymore cause of my severe pain. my boyfriend went with me to the doctor they said i was depressed put me on lexapro. that helped alot so did my boyfriend who just listened, waited for me to bounce back i did. if anyone of you has someone that loves you depend on them, trust them, believe in them even if you have to do some work before surgery. let others take care of you after. this will be my first major surgery ever i have the best doctor, bestfriend/boyfriend, brother. oh the women from work love support from all of them. ladies my god bless you with health, loved ones,....

Yes, recovery is inconvenient, and you will need help.

I look at it a little differently, though. Clearly, something is going on, or you wouldn't need the surgery. Think of how much better you will feel after all this is behind you. Also, think of the help you would be willing to give any of the people you mentioned will be helping you.

Try to take it slowly and do what you can to prepare beforehand. Most of us have a bunch of people depending on us (I know I do), but that all has to stop for a bit so we can get better. I think it was good for my family to see me 'out of commission' for a while - it made them more self sufficient, and it made them more appreciative of what it takes to keep everything running smoothly.

I wish you all the best with your surgery and recovery. You will be amazed at how quickly the time passes.

Thank you so much for all of the thoughts and posts ladies.
Yes, I am 27...my kids are 7, 4 and 19 months. My husband is going to take 2 weeks off work to help out after my surgery. And my sisters have put together a schedule divided between the 3 of them and my mom who will be here on which days afterwards. I am very thankful for all of the people in my life.
I know it is silly to think of things like the zoo and baseball games. But you all are right, as mommies we do think of the kids and husband and even the puppy before we think of ourselves. I guess it is just hard for me to think that I will not be able to care for everyone like I do normally.
But thank you again for taking the time to read my post and reply. You have made me feel better about this and a little less guilty.
Good luck to all of you, my best wishes to you!
Jessica

	Quote:
Originally Posted by mgervais MauiChick I have the same feelings about the kids.....I have 3 of them 10, 8 and 6. My surgery is set for 5/11/09. We live in a very rural town and I am the only way for them to get to school and back. We live a mile down a dirt road, the husband drives over 1 1/2 hr to work one way, can't take time off, we live on a ranch, have horses, dogs and what not. My parents live close by, but my mom is really no help (hate it say it, but she thinks more about herself and the burden it is going to cause her by me needing her, so no help from her). She has never been the nurture kind of mom we were on our own at the ranch from a very young age. So I wonder what is going to happen. The kids are out of school June 12th so I was almost thinking of having them go on independent study for the rest of the school year. I am still working on this one. It always seems that things work out so I am doing my best not to worry to much about it. God already has it figured out for me and I rest in that. Wishing you luck, just wanted to let you know that someone else is out here with the same concerns and fears.......

Michelle,

I hope you have been able to sort out how to take care of yourself out there on the ranch. If you don't have neighbors who can look in on you, I would definitely think of getting your children on independent study and having them help you while they are home. They are old enough to give you some assistance.

You'll probably want to do a lot of cooking ahead and freezing things so that they can just help with heating things up, because you are going to need to take it easy for the first few weeks.

Good luck to you!

Martha-

Yes, Yes, Yes...... I have been able to figure some of the items out. I have two girlfriends that have stepped up to bringing the 3 kids home from school and my husband's boss is going to let him come in later so he can drop the kids off at school at 7 am. Yeah! That has been a huge help! The teachers have all told me not to worry about the homework, thank goodness they are at the top of there classes.

As for the animals well I guess that they are going to get use to being feed a bit later then normal. I am doing all the shopping, house cleaning and getting all the feed ready this week.

I am actually more at peace with the whole surgery thing, but I am sure that Monday will be a little different story.

Your feelings are normal. I have experienced the same thing. The first time I was supposed to have a hysterectomy something came up with my job and I cancelled it and decided not to reschedule it right away. The second time I wanted to schedule the surgery I discussed it with my husband and he had found out that day that he was going out of the country for his job and would not be back for three months so therefore I could not schedule it as I would not have anyone to take care of me (my kids really were not old enough and my family does not live in the same state as we do. The third time I wanted to schedule it my son had some things going on and needed me as my husband was working long hours and could not take him to his medical appointments, etc. Now I have finally scheduled it and I am still concerned about how everything is going to get done in this house because I do so much but I have decided that everyone is going to have to step up and they will figure it out. The reason I am telling you this is that I can assure you that if you have a family, there is no good time to schedule your surgery. You just have to do it, otherwise there will never be a good time. At least that has been my experience. I have pets (two large dogs) and two cats. My kids are going to have to take care of them for me while I am recovering. I am fortunate that my mother will be able to come and stay after my surgery for a week and a half. I hope this helps--I know it is not easy knowing that everyone in your family who relies on you for everything will not be able to rely on you for a little while. Try not to stress about it. If I can stop worrying, trust me, so can you. I am a worry wart.
Good luck I will be praying for you and your family. I'll be going through the same thing--my date is May 19th. Let us know how things work out and we'll chat when we get on the other side of the castle.

Oh . . . I forgot to mention BEST OF LUCK to all you ladies in waiting. You are all very brave!! I'm sure things will work out

Greetings Ladies -

I am so glad I found this group. All of you ladies have been such a help to me when I was trying to make my decision, and I thank each and every one of you for your input and for sharing your experiences

I have a LAVH scheduled for day after tomorrow (May 7), and I am having the exact same feelings. My husband and I own our own business, and I do all the front end stuff (reception, scheduling, billing, paying bills, payroll, etc.). My head is spinning on how the place is going to run without me. And then there's all the things that the kids have to get to (science fair, scouts, camp, soccer, etc). I've even second guessed my decision for surgery, and considered putting it off. But as I read in a previous post (and my Mother has repeatedly told me), there really is no good time to have it done. You just have to take care of yourself, schedule it and get it done.

I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one stressing over this.

MH

	Quote:
Originally Posted by MauiChick So my doctors office called yesterday to let me know that my surgery is scheduled for 5/21/09. I wish it was sooner. I am sitting here thinking of all of the things that this is going to interfere with. My sons last 2 weeks of school, a field trip, baseball games. Not picking up my littlest one for 6 weeks. Having to inconvience my sisters and parents to help after my husband goes back to work. I just feel like I have let everyone down and that this is going to do nothing but cause problems for everyone. I didn't even tell anyone besides my husband when I went to my last doctors appt because I feel so guilty when everyone worries about it. I am just so used to taking care of everyone and everything...I feel like I am going to be totally useless. I was wanting to take my little ones to the zoo and the pool and etc...and now its going to be JULY before we can do any of that..... I know these are silly things to be worried about - I just prefer to think about them vs. the actual surgery. Sorry for the ramble, but thanks for listening. Jessica (27) LAVH scheduled 5/21/09

WELL MAUI chick
I do hear you in the busy life style.. I too have a child and household and job that is with children..in which my absence will impact.. So I can appreciate your thoughts. I do also have a 20 year old son ... and someone once shared with me... It takes a community of people to raise children, only in the last 20 years did society become so single minded.... It added to the lives of the children.. and helped them thrive..

I hate to ask for help.. too. But if you can put it in the perspective that others influence will expand your children... also not to mention the basics there is a reason you are having a hyst... I would also venture to say that in the long run... you will have many more enjoyable days and times with your children... if you get this out of the way,.... we always believe another time will be better ... but I believe in when it happens is the perfect time.. I think I read May 21st sounds like its the perfect time.. as any other date would have conflicts as well..
Rest in your mind.. your body will follow.

MLSC