Castle in 5 Days. So scared.

(children mentioned)

It's coming up so fast.
I'm really a wreck about the whole thing. I'm at peace with my decision and in horrible pain, but frankly wigging out about surgery and worried that something will happen.

I'm in very capable hands (gyn oncologist and my gyn assisting--laparoscopically), I know. Just afraid. My bp tends to run high and I have a history of heart palpitations. I saw a cardio in Jan. Echo, holter showed "harmless" pvcs. I've disclosed all this info at pre-op. They just told me if my bp was too high day of surgery, they'd postpone.

I'm so scared I'll have a heart attack or bleed to death (they may have to do a bowel resection as well).

All these what-ifs and uncertainties. I'm just having a very anxious day. I look at my little ones and wonder if this is the last weekend I'll have with them. I can't get these thoughts out of my head

I do not have as many complications as you but i share similar fears. Im scheduled for a TAH with partial BSO in 4 says and worried about what can go wrong and if i will not wake up to see my husband or children again. I am in so much pain and know this is what needs to be done and just hope for the best. I hope for the best for you as well

Oh Kari, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I will send positive thoughts and prayers. Maybe find a quiet place and put on some soothing music and try to do some deep breathing.

eyesofbloo,
I was so scared too! I was seriously scared. I had so many weird and irrational thoughts. What if this, what if that?...... It's super hard not to be uptight beforehand. Believe me, I know!
I worried that something might go wrong, that I might not wake, that I might be seeing my little girl for the last time. I guess everybody has those thoughts.

It's very true, the waiting is the hardest part. The ladies aren't just saying that.

I was so afraid of the whole "go to the operating room" and be put under anesthesia thing. Believe it or not, this was the easiest thing.

After I was all changed into my gown and had my IV, the anesthesiologist came in and gave me something to relax me. It didn't make me loopy, just calmed me so much. All you have to do is tell them you're so nervous. They'll make sure you are calmed and they're happy to do it.

I only remember 2 or 3 things they said to me in the operating room. The next thing I knew, I was waking up.

I'm 4 days post op now. If scared little me can do it, you can too, I promise!

I kept focusing on why I was having the surgery and what my life would continue to be like if I didn't have the surgery. I also reminded myself frequently that this is major surgery, that it does have risks (as any surgery does), but that my doctor does this all the time. It is actually a rather routine proceedure and that the odds of something going wrong is very, very slim. I talked and talked with friends and husband, which helped me process it emotionally. It was my first surgery, and I am so glad I did it!

Totally normal feelings and thoughts! I have two little ones myself and I thought the same things. I always go to the extreme in times like this. BUT. With the problems I was living with, life wasn't fun and my kids were suffering right along with me. I was always in a bad mood and they got the brunt of it. Even though I didn't mean to do it. I'm so happy I had my surgery, my life is a thousand times improved!

I don't remember as much as SpringJoy (hey I'm from MN!) ... I don't even remember leaving the pre op room LOL I put on my gown, the horrid little stockings and they put in an IV. They put something in the IV and told my hubby it was time to leave ... When I woke up I was in the same room but on the post op side and remember nothing in between. It was smooth sailing and well worth it. I wish you the best of luck!

Try to not be scared but I know it's hard.... as others have said focus on why you're having the surgery and how great things will be after. ((hugs))

I am still 2 weeks away from my surgery but it's finally moving closer....

Thanks ladies. I'm having my moments for sure...but with a little help from my hystersisters and xanax, i might make it

My surgery is on Monday and I am having all of the same fears. I am so scared for my little ones. I know once it is all said and done I will feel so much better and will be able to enjoy them more. That is what I am trying to focus on. Good luck to you. I will keep you in my thoughts.

oh Kari, sending hugs. I know it's scary, try not to let those thoughts creep in, fight them with positive thoughts..."Everything is going to be ok" "I have excellent doctors" "They will take care of me" "I will wake up to see my little ones" "Nothing can take me away from them"

Tammy