Help, I don't know what is happening

Good Afternoon Sisters,

I need help fast. I feel like a crazy person most of the time. I got married on the last Saturday in February 2005. On the first night of our honey moon I had a hotflash, only I didn't know that's what it was at the time. The next day, as we toured the wine country of CA, it kept happening. I told my husband of one day that I was feeling wierd and I tried to describe it to hime but he just said that it was my nerves from all the wedding planning and then the big event. That night, I was awakened by the flash. I got so hot that the sheet where I lay was wet (soaked). I changed nities, put a towel in the wet spot and went back to bed. Needless to say, this never stopped so last month (3 month newlywed who had seen no period since before the wedding) went to the doctor to find some answers. After hearing my story, my doctor stated that i was probably pregnant. I told him that was not possible as my husband had vasectomy 3 years before I met him (plus we had taken about 10 home pregnancy test already-all negative). Then my Doctor ordered the preg test anyway. I was not pregnant. He stated that the only other thing it could be was thyroid problems because I was too young to starting menopause. Well, after several test and days of waiting, it turns out I am perimenopausal at 38 years old. He also discovered that i have eight very large fybroids, inside of, throught the wall of, and on the outside of my uterus. He scheduled surgery for August 9, 2005 (because I needed time to prepare the company I work for, I'm the ops mgr).

That was it. Now, I started searching and found all of you here to support me and keep me informed as I go through this.

Here is the problem, I'm crazy! I cry for no reason and I've NEVER been a cryer, EVER!!! Sometimes I'm happy, then weepy, then full out sobbing across the bed. I can't sleep, I'm itching, and my hair is falling out!!!!! I'm driving my new husband nuts (he never says one negative word and has been totally supportive) but he keeps smiling and telling me everything will be fine once I have the surgery. What if it's not? How can one bad uterus make you lose your mind? How can surgery on my uterus fix what is happening to my mind? I'm usually calm. I never freak out or over react about anything, So I feel like a demon has taken control of my body and mind. I don't recognize this person I've become.

Shouldn't the doctor have me on some medicine for this or something? I know about all the hrt for post-hyst but what about while I wait? Those test I had done indicated that my ovaries were not producing enough hormone and that was the reason I had stopped having a monthly cycle. The little they did produce was feeding my enormous fybroids. Shouldn't they be replacing what my body can't do for itself anymore? In all the stuff I read here the answer to that would be yes, but, I do not find anything on women starting hrt before the surgery. Why not? I have the same loss as post op sisters. I'm tired, cranky, weepy, and ready to beat my head on the headboard at night just to knock myself out so I can get some sleep and this is all before the surgery!!! Please advise. I wanted to get advice from my sisters before I called my doctor with all this and have him put me away.

mspittmang (by the way, my dh is reading hystersisters with me now and he loves it).

Hi Mspittmang,
I'm sorry you are going through so much torment. Is there anyway your Dr. could move up your operation date? The waiting is really hard on everyones nerves. I was not given much notice that I needed a hysterectomy, and I stressed myself out big time. I would call your Dr. and ask him if hrt would help you right now. I'm sure others will respond and have some helpful advice on hot flashes and mood swings.
Take care,
Clancey

I would talk to your doctor and see what he says. I know I had fibroids and they gave me Lupron so I would not produce estrogen. I think if yiou take hrt before surgery I will cause the fibroids to get bigger causing the surgery to be more difficult check with your doctor and hang in their it will get better after surgery.

I agree that you should consider HRT right now. Regardless of what Mr. Cruise says, there IS such thing as a "chemical imbalance" (sorry I had to get that dig in out of respect for Ms. Shields and all woman in our predicament) and it surely sounds like that's what you're going thru right now. You are fortunate that your DH is supporting you. Bless him! Read the posts on here and you will become well-informed and be able to talk to your doctor on his level.

Dear MsPittmang,

I wanted to let you know I read your post and I sympathize with you. I am not perimenopausal. I have what sounds to be the exact opposite. I have too many periods. Sometimes 3-4 in a 2 month period. Have been doing this for the last 5 years. Changed docs last year and the new one is great. Did a D & C, hysteroscopy and balloon ablation about a week after my first visit with her. Unfortunatley, this didn't do the trick. When I went back in this year for my Pap and told her I was back to having the same issues, she said (not at all sarcastically) that I had 3 options: Go on hormones (which she doesn't want to give me and I don't want to take because I have tried that route and it didn't work and because my mother is a breast cancer survivor), have a hysterectomy, do nothing and live with it. Went home, talked to DH about it, thought a LOT and decided I couldn't live like this anymore. I called the doctor's office back and they scheduled my TAH (due to having had a C-section) for 7/11/05. I get crazier and crazier as the day gets closer. Was SO sure about this surgery a week ago, now sometimes it is all I can do to keep myself from picking up the phone and calling the doc to cancel. Part is nerves and part is probably because I have an overload of hormones, or the wrong combination or something. DH says he will be glad when I don't spend 2 weeks a month having a period and the other 2 weeks with PMS---LOL!!!!! Me too!! Please hang in there. The best thing you can do right now is call your doc. They deal with people like us all the time and are generally very understanding. He/she may not realize what a difficult time you're having.

Please hang in there!!!

Janet

Mspittmang,

I can certainly relate to your symtoms...I went through the very same things for years! Then, I switched to the same thing as jsd514 - Janet, I can relate to your symptoms as well! In short, I spent nearly 18 years of my life in agony. In my opinion, if I had been with the right doctor, I may not have suffered quite as long as I did. *Talk* to your doctor - they have no idea what you are going through unless you tell them. I see that your surgery is about a month away. That probably seems like an eternity, but it will be here before you know it. Use this time to prepare yourself; try to concentrate on the positive things in your life. You are lucky to have a supportive DH (I was not that lucky). You may even ask your doctor to give you something mild, that is non addictive, to help you relax during this waiting period. There is help out there; hopefully you and your doctor can come up with something to help you through this. Since my surgery, I have felt better than I have in years. My incision still annoys me, but it's nothing compared to what I went through before surgery. Other than swelly belly , I am sooooo happy I am on the road to recovery. Hang in there and things will get better. Just be patient! Take care and best wishes to you.

I am the same way! I spend at least half of the month in major depression/anger/moodiness, not to mention about 8lbs of water gain. I never in my life had symptoms like this until about 12-18 months ago. It is insufferable. I'm scheduled for a TVH on July 13th and it can't come quick enough for me. I literally feel as though I'm pregnant (tummy bloat/hardening between my rib cage), and it is difficult and very uncomfortable to sit, bend or even walk sometimes with my enlarged uterus.
You are not going crazy. Hang in there! I've been told by my friends, family and even my doc that I'll be a new woman after the surgery. I hope so! I'm tired of this crying, angry woman that I am now.
I have no energy and have a difficult time sleeping as well. I'm having my ovaries taken as well since I want an end to this nightmarish PMS.

Good luck and know you are not alone!!!!!

I went through a stage like that as well where it felt like PMS x a zillion and like I was totally losing my mind. I remember one day in a supermarket where I actually threw a cake on the floor and stormed out of the store sobbing because a grocery clerk had accidentally bumped my elbow when he walked past me. I was in my late 30's then (late 40's now). The solution for me was 40 mg of prozac with ativan occasionally for insomnia. Note, though, that I did not go to gynecologists at all in my earlier years due to issues I have from being raped many years ago. It turns out that I now have several huge fibroids and need a TAH which I hope to get scheduled within the next couple of months.

Just wanted to let you know that I know how that insanity feels, and that it does get better.

cjcj

I agree you need to tell your doc. My GYN gave me Wellbutrin the 1.5 months before my surgery.
WHEW!!! My family was glad. I was so moody and felt crazy.
Maybelline

Hi mspittmang,

I am so sorry that your are having these symptoms. I expect your doc is not giving you any thing because he doesn't want your fibroids to get too big prior to surgery, that's just my guess.

About your symptoms, a hyst will not stop perimenopause symptoms, as far as I know. If you have your ovaries removed during the surgery your will go into sudden menospause (not fun)! Then your Doc will probably give your estrogen to help with the symptoms if there are no contraindications for taking estrogen. You can choose to keep your ovaries or have them removed. Many ladies opt to keep them for many reasons. You probably can still have estrogen to ease your symptoms if your keep your ovaries. Women who have natural menopause take estrogen or a combination. These decisions are yours to make, so I would suggest you research as much as you can so you can make up your own mind about what is best for you.

This surgery is a major one and not to be taken lightly. I was in shock for quite a while. Make sure that there are not any other options for you other than hyst. I know it is a big decisoin to make. I hope I helped a bit.